P is For... ???

Hey Humble Readers...

I think I have officially hit the wall.  I CANNOT decide on a fictional character who's name starts with P.  I can think of several... but none of them are providing the appropriate level of inspiration for me to write about.  *sigh*

Pooh-bear
Piglet
Paddington Bear
Peeta
Prim
Pippin (oops, already talked about him)
Peter Parker
Peter Pevinsie
and
countless Princesses (all those historical novels)

Okay, so maybe not several, but a few. 

Can you think of any great "P" fictional characters? 

*****
Quick update... had my consult with the anesthesiologist today.  He confirmed that we are indeed only doing a spinal (not an epidural, tho).  We talked about how things went last time, and possible things to expect this time... the heaviness in the chest, difficulty taking a deep breath, etc.  We also talked about my insulin for the day before the surgery.  I'm to cut my evening dose in half and then not take any in the morning.  I am allowed to have clear fluids in the morning if I feel like I'm having a sugar low. 

And as another aside... I think I might be getting to that point where my insulin needs are leveling off.  I've had an increase in sugar lows over the last few days.  I think I may need to dial back my mealtime insulin a bit. 

Week 29: Chicken or Egg Situation

Good Evening Humble Readers...

Fair warning... your friendly neighbourhood hobbit is in a pretty lousy head-space right now.  If I weren't pregnant, I would totally think I was PMS-ing (chocolate cravings and all). 

My blood sugars have been wonky, and I've been feeling like a weepy-angry-biotch-on-wheels.  The kicker is I know that my emotional state affects my blood sugar numbers in a bad way, and I know that my blood sugars (when out of whack) can wreak havoc on my emotions.  Oh yeah, and throw in stress-induced IBS flares...  Fun times! 

Seriously, I've constantly been on the verge of tears for two days.  I have got to get past this...

On to the update...

How far along? 29w0d (only 9 weeks to go!! HOLY CRAP!)

Maternity clothes? Absolutely

Body Oddities? VERY dry skin, alternating constipation and IBS flares, acne, back ache, cracking joints, super sore & slightly leaky boobs, dry/itchy eyes, leg cramps, round ligament pain, tingly fingertips, tired, gassy, Braxton Hicks, NEW THIS WEEK: increased clumsiness, tendonitis in my thumbs?

Sleep? Some nights it's been great, other's not so much.  On the days when I've had I decent night's sleep, I can actually get by without any naps.  That's a pretty great development, if you ask me.

Intense Dreams? I've still been dreaming a lot, but nothing tops that dream about my mom being pregnant.

Best moment this week? Ginny is developing a serious sense of humour, which is a tremendous blessing just now.

Worst moment? In the grand scheme of things, nothing truly earth shattering. 

Movement? Heck ya.  Although I'm really beginning to doubt that this child is ever going to turn vertical.  I get little hints that maybe it's going to happen, but then he/she is right back to trying to press my hips apart. 

Food cravings/aversions? Sweets, chocolate

Rings? Still on... huh?

Gender? Still thinking she's a she.  It's going to be really hard to stick to my guns and not ask at my ultrasound tomorrow.

Medical Concerns? Gestational Diabetes (insulin 5 times a day), High blood pressure (on 50mg of lobetalol 3x daily), continued heartburn (on 60mg of Pan.taloc daily), kidney stones (they're back!), low lying placenta, low iron.

What I miss? being able to get up from the couch without looking/feeling like a beached whale

What I look forward to?  Seeing the halfling tomorrow and getting a definitive answer about the possible placenta previa (the tech likely won't tell me, but I'll be able to call Dr. W's office on Friday and find out)

Emotional State?  Pretty much all over the place.  See above...

Hobbit-ish Potpurri:Hell No, I'm Not Complaining* (Again!)

Greetings Humble Readers...

(*sarcasm - I don't want to sound like a whiner, but the last couple days have just been a drag.  This pregnancy has been harder physically than with Ginny, and I really feel bad for griping.  BUT, this is my blog and these are my feelings.  If this isn't something you can handle today, I understand.)

So, I saw the unremarkable Dr. B today.  I admit that I went into the appointment already a bit crabby, but I really felt like the whole thing was a waste of time and cab fare.  I was weighed and had my blood pressure checked.  He listened to the baby's heartbeat (152 bpm) and measured my belly (measuring ahead by about a week).  And that was it.  He basically blew off my questions...

• Can I increase the dosage on my Zan.tac? (getting heartburn in the middle of the day, taking tums which are screwing with my blood sugar)  Talk to Dr. W about it next week.
• Should I be concerned about the rapid weight gain?  (Gained 3-ish pounds over two days... for a normal sized preggo, that's a concern.  I'm still below my pre-preg weight tho.)  Talk to Dr. W about it next week.
• How low is my 'low-lying placenta'? (Is it just low-lying or is it a partial previa? Scheduling the next u/s?) Talk to Dr. W about it next week.

I'm really thinking that the whole appointment was just to make sure that I had an appointment scheduled with Dr. W.  Grr...

*****
Speaking of blood sugars, I'm going through another bit of a rough patch.  I feel like I'm on a ridiculous amount of insulin right now, and I know it's only going to get 'worse' from here, but I'm missing my targets pretty regularly (not by a lot) and it's pissing me off.  I'm incredibly bored with my breakfast and lunch options and, because of that boredom, I've made some lousy choices over the last few days (whoda thunk that raisin bran would be bad for a diabetic?  It's not like I ate some sugar laced marshmallow cereal.  I should have realized it tho, if I had actually thought about it).  I need a kick in the a$$ to get refocussed here.

*****
Ginny is also going through a rough patch.  She's got a cough, which sounds a heck of a lot worse than it is, she's teething (about 4 teeth), and she's gotten into a mischievous attitude lately that is draining Mommy's patience (she has a new thing for the kitchen garbage can and kleenex boxes... both items are fun to empty when Mommy's not looking).  And napping is really hit and miss, with a mega four hour nap one day and then hardly any naps for three days.  I adore my wee girl, but these days she's not very sweet.

*****
We have a potluck at church this weekend, and I'm torn about what to take.  Part of me just wants to make a huge bowl of black bean salad (with tomatoes, bell peppers and corn in a lime chili vinaigrette) because it would be simple and cheap, but I don't really know how well that would go over.  But I know that chicken wings would go over great, but they're more expensive and impossible to keep warm during Sunday School and service.  Thoughts?  Alternate suggestions?

*****
Ginny's vocabulary - I took Kristin's suggestion from the other day, and have been giving Ginny direct instructions on various things to find out how much she's understanding.  It has eased my mind a fair bit, as she knows what I'm talking about when I ask her about Daddy, puppies (she points to pictures), her stuffies by name (Stanley, Big Bear, Baby Bear, Bedtime Bear, Aurora, Dolly), her toes, babies, her milk/cup, and yesterday when I asked her where Mommy was, she patted me on the arm repeatedly (she knows who I am... thank heaven!).  I am going to try not to stress about her not really talking for another couple of months.  My Beloved and I have set a deadline... if we don't see an improvement by the time she's 18 months old then we will seek out some further help/intervention.  I am also going to press my MIL for more information about how non-verbal my Beloved was as a toddler/preschooler.  The family story is that he just didn't talk until he was almost 5, and then presto he talked.  I need more info. 

Mini Celebrations

Hey Humble Readers...

I wracked my brain trying to come up with some really cute ICLW intro, but I'm tapped out.  Instead I have a few celebrations to share with you all...

• The Steadfast Warrior of Destined to be An Old Woman With No Regrets is back!!  And writing from Scotland!  Woohoo! 
• Carrie of Tubeless in Seattle has also reappeared!  How can her triplets be two???
• I have had three days in the last week where my morning blood sugars were at or nearly at target!  (is it sad that my happiness is tied to the numbers on my glucose meter?)
• After much angst, I have finally found the jars I need for one of my Christmas crafts.  Not exactly what I wanted, but they will work!
• I made my best version of my black bean salad ever tonight.  It was so good that I ate the leftovers when I woke up from my after-dinner snooze.  Thank heaven it's all good healthy stuff!

What are you celebrating tonight?

PS - please check out yesterday's post.  I'm looking for input and advice.  Thanks!

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: Totally Random Stuff

Good Evening Humble Readers...

I hope that you have all had a good Wednesday... things here on the frozen flatland are sliding deeper into the deep freeze.  It's snowing pretty intensely right now, and it's supposed to keep on all day tomorrow.  I wouldn't mind so much, except that I have to go to a doctor's appointment.  I don't drive much at all during the winter, and given that we only have the one car, my Beloved may have to drive me and the wee girl.

*****
Speaking of Tilly the Toyota... she had to have a bit of work done on her today.  In the middle of the summer, when we took a day trip down to the Big City Down South, we caught a rock on the edge of the windshield, and it spidered several inches before we made it home.  As the weather has gotten colder, the crack has gotten longer and it was almost all the way across the whole window.  Knowing that it would only get worse as we go further into winter, we bit the bullet and had the window replaced.  We got a pretty good deal on it, and I'm glad it's done, but it was a bit of a financial hit just before Christmas. 

*****
Major victory this morning... my before breakfast blood sugars were exactly on target!  This is the first time in my entire experience with GD that my morning sugars have been that low.  I got close a couple of times toward the end of my pregnancy with Ginny, but never quite there.  I think we may have actually have hit the magic number for insulin (for now, anyway).  Woohoo!

*****
Ginny has a bit of a cold going on right now.  Her nose is a faucet, and she has the occasional phlegmy cough.  It doesn't seem to be slowing her down at all, but it does mean that anything I'm wearing has become her kleenex of choice.  Ugh...

*****
So I finally got started on my Christmas shopping for my Beloved this morning.  I have been hounding him since the summer to put together a wish list, and he finally has, so I was able to make some progress.  He's incredibly difficult to buy for, and the one idea that I did have is no longer available... anywhere.  Bummer.  At least now I have some direction.

*****
Ginny's newest obsession is bears... as in polar bears, panda bears, grizzly bears.  If she sees a pic or a glimpse of one on tv, she goes nuts.  Bouncing up and down, practically hyperventilating.  It's hilarious!  And it doesn't even have to be a 'real' bear.  A stuffy, a cartoon-type drawing in a storybook... anything. 

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: Weather Worries

Hey Humble Readers...

It's been really unseasonably warm the last couple of days, and I am loving it!  Normally around this time of year, we're sitting just around the freezing mark for a daytime high, and we have been getting up to 12 degrees!  (that's somewhere in the mid 50s for my friends who use Fahrenheit).  Gorgeous!  The kicker is, by Monday we're supposed to be getting our first real winter storm, with 10cm of snow.  And Monday is the day that we need to drive two hours south.  Ugh!

*****
Somehow in the midst of everything going on this autumn I managed to forget to contact the photographer that we had made preliminary arrangements with for Ginny's first birthday portraits.  Bad news is that she's all booked up.  Soooo, instead of cute cake smash pics taken in our home, we're going to be doing the standard Sears portraits.  Oh well.  I went and did a little shopping this evening and found the outfit she's going to wear tomorrow for the pics.  I think it's super cute, and I can't wait to see and share the results.

*****
It generally takes a lot to gross me out, especially when it comes to forensic content on tv shows.  I love Bones, CSI, Law & Order, and pretty much any other cop procedural drama out there.  But the one thing that just makes me nauseous is anything to do with competitive eating.  And the cop shows seem to run with this storyline at least once a year.  Can someone please tell me what is entertaining about watching someone jam an obscene amount of hot dogs, chicken wings, or pie?  And what qualifies this as a sport?  *shudder*  I just think it's absolutely disgusting on sooooo many levels. 

*****
Kidney stone(s) appear to be moving about today.  Not a lot of sharp pain, but just aggravating enough to make things rather uncomfortable.  I wish these things would just pass already.  I know it's a painful process (my dad has dealt with them on several occasions), but I would rather just have it over. 

*****
Good news on the GD front... sort of.  I've been experiencing some moderate lows.  The lows suck, but it means that we are really close to having my insulin levels figured out, and once they are stabilized, it will only be a matter of tweaking them as this pregnancy goes on.  Yay!

Up From The Depths

Howdy Humble Readers...

I'm finally beginning to feel like a real person again (as opposed to a snot-filled slug).  I'm still tired, but overall feeling much better. 

So, this week is the busy busy week.  Or at least the jam-packed with appointments week. 

Yesterday was the diabetic clinic, to go over my insulin program.  They have me starting really low, but increasing by a unit every day until we get things balanced.  The nurse was great, and reminded me that in the second trimester, when I'm off the prometrium, my insulin needs may drop a bit before they start to go back up going into the third tri.  So, two different kinds of insulin (one for meals, and one that's long-acting to help with my baseline sugars). 

Today was Ginny's well-baby check up.  It was technically her 9 month check up, but it had been rescheduled a couple of times.  She's doing good (will give you a complete update in a day or two as I need to do 'Ginny @ 10 Months) and other than being made to wait for more than an hour for a 7 minute appointment, things went well. 

Tomorrow... the ultrasound. 10:45.  To say I'm nervous would be a bit of an understatement.  I want to be able to say that I am 100% confident that all will be well, but really it's more like about 60% to 40%.  After much internal debate, I have decided that Ginny will be coming with us.  I figure, if things go south, then I'll have my wee sweet girl to cuddle.  And if things go well, I want her there even if she has no clue what's happening.  I'll post about that as soon as I can afterward. 

Thursday... Must Clean The House!  It's not terribly messy, but for some reason I thought black furniture would be great, never considering how much dust shows on it.  Duh!

Friday... I have another Dr. B appointment.  Follow up on the u/s and to discuss what happens next.  I am really going to push for a decision on an OB referral.  He's been holding off every time I ask (altho he seems to be open to it), but I want to get the NT scan booked asap, and that request needs to come from an OB. 

Then comes the very busy weekend... this weekend is Thanksgiving here north of the 49th parallel.  We are having turkey dinner at my MIL's on Saturday, and then I'm having 11 people for dinner on Sunday.  Considering our kitchen table seats 4, ths could be a challenge.  I'm doing roast beef (a huge costco sized roast), oven roasted autumn veggies (parsnips, carrots, sweet potatoes, mushrooms, onions, and maybe some asparagus for some green), mashed taters, gravy and rolls.  My mom has said that she'll bring dessert (pumpkin cream cheese pie)... YAY! 

Then Monday, we crash.  Thank heaven for long weekends! 

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: The Crud is Back

Hey Humble Readers...

I hope that you all are having a great early autumn.  The weather here on the flatland has been remarkably good, including getting our hottest summer temp on the second day of fall... Crazy!  It's been a busy few days, and I have much to catch you all up on.

*****
As the title of this post suggests, I am once again under the weather.  This is the second cold I have had THIS MONTH!!!  Ugh!  Sinuses, ears, throat... just gross.  And I think that Ginny might be catching it, she woke up snarfly this morning.  I'm praying that we are both feeling okay tomorrow night, as we have been invited out to dinner with a couple of couples from church. 

*****
I had an appointment at the diabetic clinic on Tuesday morning.  It really was just a refresher on the dietary stuff and setting a game plan.  I'm testing my blood sugar before and after each meal (2 hours), and I have to send in my log sheet tomorrow.  The nurses will look at it and if my numbers are screwy (which they are), then they will call in a recommended rx to Dr B, and I'll be on insulin beginning next week.  The challenge over the last few days has been trying to eat the way I should when I feel like total crap.  The m/s pukies combined with this cold has left me craving a ton of carbs, and sadly I have been giving in. 

*****
I had more blood drawn on Tuesday as well.  Five vials from my finicky veins.  Thankfully, one of the other doctors in Dr B's practice called me yesterday and let me know my beta numbers.  (As an aside - In looking at my O chart, it appears that I may have o'd a day later than I thought, and if that's the case then my DPO are all different.)  So, taking that into account...

13DPO - 34    20DPO - 442    27DPO - 3215

Not as high as I had hoped, but still doubling within normal parameters.  I'm still below average, but I'm feeling a little more confident. (I've come across a website that I love... http://www.betabase.info/  It's a collection of beta numbers from viable pregnancies and shows the variants in numbers.  Very reassuring)  My symptoms have been slightly more intense so that's also helping me feel a little better.  I've decided that I'm not going to go for another blood draw next week as I have my u/s on Wednesday.

*****
The other day I spent the afternoon/evening with a couple of my girlfriends.  We went to the Big City two hours north of us and hit Ikea, Olive Garden, and an event for 'employees' of my former bookstore.  We got to attend a presentation from one of the biggest publishers in the country about all the new books coming out this fall.  So many great books... I can't wait!  Ikea was so much fun... I was a good girl and limited myself to the few things I had in mind when we first walked in.  It was hard not to be impulsive, but I stayed strong!  It was a great day and had a lot of laughs. 

*****
I've decided that I'm going to do one or two projects each day until Wednesday.  Things like going through closets, making soup, and sorting through my crafting stuff.  I'm hoping that it will help me not fixate on the u/s.  I also have a big pseudo-Thanksgiving dinner to plan (more on that later). 

*****
There are a ton of other things that I want to tell you about, but they will have to wait for now, as I'm fading.  Ginny is napping and if I'm lucky I might be able to catch a solid half hour of sleep.  Woo hoo!

Not Terrible, Not Great...

Hey Humble Readers...

I'm in need of some reassurance, so this is your invitation to blow smoke and just try to make me feel better, ok?

I got my beta numbers back this afternoon.  They aren't what I would like, and of course the ever sensitive Dr. B didn't really help matters with all his "well, they're pretty low" repeating like a broken record (he must have said it 5 times in my 10 minute appointment). 

HCG Beta @ 14 DPO: 34
HCG Beta @ 21 DPO: 442
Doubling every 45.5 hours

They aren't bad, but they aren't really strong either.  I'm above the 'minimum' line, but not at 'average'.  (I apologize, but I can't figure out how to get the graphic from http://www.babymed.com/).  I'm trying really hard not to stress about it.  I'm going back for more blood work next Tuesday, so we'll see what we will see I guess.  *sigh* 

Have I mentioned how much I hate all this worry?  Damned IF!

We also talked about my blood sugars, which are terrible!  I have an appointment at the diabetic clinic next week, and I'll likely be on insulin from then forward.  One thing I discovered recently is that prometrium, particularly at the dosage that I'm taking, can screw with blood sugars in a pretty significant way, so we'll see how they take that into account. 

My ultrasound is 13 days away.  Please God let there be a heartbeat!

Just Checking In...

Howdy Humble Readers!

I can't believe how the last week has flown by.  I'm working on our birth story, but honestly I'm struggling with the earliest parts because everything seemed to go so slowly for so long, and then it hit hyper-speed. 

Our Family!

My black and blue belly (from all the insulin and the assorted shots I got after Ginevra was born) is slowly turning a grotesque shade of yellow and green.  My staples were removed on Saturday and now the inscision is itchy beyond belief.  And check out that new ticker to the right... I am currently more than 20 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight!  It's like I'm melting away.

My rings are back on.  I'm done with the insulin and my blood sugars have been well within target when I do random checks.  I have to go for another GTT after my six-week check up. 

I did have a little scare the other day.  The public health nurse had come by to do a check on Ginevra and I, and she did a bp check on me.  I had been feeling dizzy and light-headed for a day or so, and had some troubles taking a deep breath the night before.  My bp was sky high and I was retaining a lot of water.  She stopped the check up at that point and sent us to my doc immediately.  Long story short, I'm back on the Lobe.talol, and all is much better now.  We'll see how my bp is when I go back to the doc at the end of the month. 

Ginevra's first bath - in the hospital

Ginevra is doing amazingly well... she's surpassed her birth weight already, and other than a few issues with gassiness she's a very happy little girl.  She sleeps anywhere from 3-6 hours at a stretch and eats well.  Cloth diapering is going great, and I don't know why people choose to use disposables when there are such great products and services out there.  The only area that we're still struggling is with bf-ing.  Because of my blood pressure, the c-section, and the GD, I had next to no milk for the first several days, so we had to go with formula (which was a frustration for me).  I'm now on some meds to help my milk supply (which it has, in spades!), and Ginevra is on mostly breastmilk, albeit from a bottle.  I've been trying to use a nipple shield to help her, which is working somewhat, but mostly she gets mad because she can't get milk as quickly from me as she can from a bottle. 

One of my favourites - in the car seat, on the way home from the hospital

All in all, I think things are going really well.  Even when we have frustrating moments (like when I had to throw the covers to the couch cushions in the wash at 2am because she spit up all over them), I am still so incredibly thankful and happy.  My Beloved is amazing with her, and I am so very proud of him!  He's also been great with looking after me and making sure that I'm not overdoing it. 

I will hopefully be able to start checking back in with all of you soon.  It seems like when I'm not feeding, pumping, or changing diapers, I'm doing laundry or trying to catch up on sleep. 

I hope you are all well... and that you are enjoying a magical holiday season!

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: The Countdown Is On!

Hey Humble Readers...

So, remember all that stuff I got done on Monday?  LOL!  Well, apparently I overdid it.  Yesterday was a complete write off in terms of getting my big ol' backside off the couch.  My energy levels yesterday allowed for exactly two things... cooking supper and going to see Harry Potter. 

*****
Harry Potter was great!  It's been at least a year since I reread the book, so there were a few spots where I was left going 'huh?', but overall, I thought that they did a good job of it.  The director definitely caught the desperation of the whole situation.  There were a couple of jacka$$es in front of us who were killing themselves laughing at the end (and if you've seen it, you know the part I mean)... while I'm trying not to cry.  Funniest thing... there was a spot where I ended up being startled pretty good (yes I jumped) by something on the screen, and apparently the Halfling got freaked out too.  He/she jumped inside me and then couldn't chill out.  Hilarious!

*****
My mom is on the road today, driving 12+ hours by herself, through the mountains so that she can be here with us tomorrow.  I would greatly appreciate any prayers and good thoughts you could send her way, for safety and easy travels.  Thankfully, the road conditions look good, and there isn't much snow expected on her route today. 

*****
Today is my day to get the last of the last things done.  I'm going to finish decorating the house for Christmas (it's never taken me this long before!), going to get a haircut this afternoon, hit the grocery store, and do some tidying up around the house.  Tonight I just want to relax with my Beloved and not obsess about things that aren't done. 

*****
I know this isn't a great attitude to have, but considering that I've been pretty good through this GD mess, I'm letting myself have a few things today that I haven't allowed in a long time.  Chips, a donut (not a Krispy Kreme, but as close as I can get) is scheduled for dessert tonight, and I have a Co.ke Zero in hand as I write this. 

*****
Barring some sort of crazy rush on the L&D ward in the next 18 hours, this is my last post before our Halfling joins us.  I hope all of you south of the border have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  And be safe if you go out on Black Friday... no shopping casualties allowed!  :)

Week 39: Can We Say 'Nesting'?

Good Afternoon Humble Readers!

Today's been busy so far, but I'm feeling good about it.  I went to my chiropractor, made a pot of soup, washed the bathroom towels, put away some hang to dry laundry, ordered our tickets for HP for tomorrow night, made 3 dozen shortbread cookies and 3 dozen meatballs, cleaned the bathroom & kitchen, cancelled my U/S that was scheduled for Thursday, and made some progress on decorating the house for Christmas.  I don't know where all this energy came from, but I'm taking advantage of it. 

A minor frustration on the GD front... I am almost certainly going to be done with insulin by the end of this coming weekend.  BUT I have had to shell out for testing strips ($70), needles ($25), and a full prescription for my Humulin-N ($20) this week.  Grrrrr... I know we'll get 80% back with our insurance, but still it sucks. 

Here's the last of my weekly updates... hard to believe we're here.

How far along? 39w0d

Maternity clothes?  I've switched over to some of my bulky winter sweaters this week in deference to the cold weather.  They don't look all that great, but at least I'm staying warm.  Nursing bras arrived finally...

Body Oddities?  My joints are cracking and popping like mad.  Lots of pressure in my groin.  Occasional mild nausea and diarrhea.  Definitely lost part of my mucous plug the other day (TMI - it looked like the biggest clump of ewcm EVER).  Nothing really in the contraction department, just some low-grade menstrual types of cramps.  My pre-existing stretch marks are getting really dark.  My weight has gone up a bit in the last couple of days, but I've been getting lax in my low-carb/low-sugar endeavours, so that probably explains at least part of it. 

Sleep? Not sleeping well at night most of the time, but I'm not as tired during the day.  I think it's the nesting instinct kicking in.  I've had a bit more energy the last few days.

Best moment this week?  Not a specific moment, but more of a feeling.  I feel ready for this little one to make his/her appearance. 

Worst moment? Getting my membranes stripped was no fun.  And just the general achiness from when I overdo it.

Movement? Seems to have picked back up.  He/she's been moving a lot again.  We killed an hour the other day just watching my belly move.  It's insane.  I can't believe I only have a few more days of feeling it.

Food cravings?  Ok... here's the ridiculous thing.  I want a Kri.spy Kr.eme donut more than anything.  The closest KK store?  Two hours away.  And no, my fellow Canadians, Timmy's just won't do.  Other than that, I'm just hungry ALL THE TIME!

Rings? Off... and they'll be staying off now for a while. I tried them on the other day, and they do fit, I'm still just scared of them getting stuck on my finger.  Soon enough I'll have them back on.

Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy.  According to the poll on the right, you guys are pretty split on it.  Only one vote difference...

Intense Dreams?  Okay, the craziest delivery dream of the week... I dreamt that I was sitting on the couch and I could feel the baby moving around inside me.  The Halfling pressed his/her foot against my belly and I could grab onto the heel.  Then all of a sudden, I was able to start pulling his/her foot, then the leg, then a little backside out RIGHT THRU MY BELLY!  Now here's where it gets really weird... I heard my Beloved coming down the hall, and I was worried that he would be upset that he missed the birth, so I pushed the baby back inside, and my stomach sealed over.  Absolutely insane!

Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day), Gestational Diabetes (actually doing really well, except for the occasional low), on prescription Zan.tac for heartburn. Being induced on November 25th.

What I miss? Sleep, free and easy movement, being able to go more than an hour without having to pee.

What I look forward to?  My mom getting here on Wednesday, meeting this little person, not having to poke myself with needles several times a day (the bruises from my insulin are disgusting... should be off insulin by 72 hours after delivery), not having to pee on little strips of paper every morning (to check my ketones).

Emotional State?  This is interesting.  I alternate between mild anxiety and total excitement.  There is a part of me that is honestly still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Every movement reassures me a little bit more, but that worried little voice is still there.

Tears & Laughter

Good Morning Humble Readers...

It's been an up and down kind of day already. 

The Down:

My day started this morning earlier than I would have liked, but the pain in my hips is making it hard for me to stay asleep all night.  So I was awake before 5am again this morning... ugh!!  Then, when I tested my blood sugar, it was higher than it's been in a week.  I ended up bawling in my kitchen (again!) because this whole thing is just so damned frustrating.  And when I say bawling, I mean hiccup sobbing.  I feel like an idiot now for letting the number on that stupid little screen dictate how I feel about myself... it's worse than a scale.

The Up:

It's Thursday, so that means it's a doctor day.  My appointment with Dr. U was at 9.  I got to see the Halfling again... he/she is now in a head down position, so we weren't able to see a whole lot, but the heart rate is good, and baby is growing.  As of this week, my fundal height is measuring a bit ahead, and I really feel that my belly has popped out a lot more in the last few days.  Dr. U was great about my blood sugars, and increased my insulin again a bit.  I told him about my morning, and how I feel like all I'm doing is barely treading water, but not making any real progress.  He told me that at this point in the pregnancy, I am at my most susceptible to even the smallest fluctuations in hormone levels (which will affect my blood sugar) and reminded me that we are going to be playing catch up for the rest of the pregnancy.  When I expressed my concern at how much insulin I'm taking, he told me not to worry.  He's had patients who were at double what I'm at now, at the same point in a pregnancy.  He did warn me that my insulin will likely end up a lot higher by the end.  He also told me that he's very happy with how serious I'm taking this, but that I need to ease up on myself.  Have I mentioned how much I appreciate him?

So, my morning started with tears... and thankfully it was on it's way to getting better.  I left Dr. U's office feeling better about things. 

And that's when God decided I needed a little laugh. 

As I was walking down the hallway and out of Dr. U's building, I felt my underwear starting to slide down my backside.  My maternity jeans are still a little loose in the back end, so they weren't really helping to keep things in place.  I got in the elevator by myself, so I took a moment to adjust... but I wasn't able to get things situated properly before the doors opened again.   So, I was waiting outside the building for my cab, and I could feel them inching down my fanny again.  By the time my cab arrived, they had completely slipped off my hips.  Trying to walk to the cab, and then from the cab to my front door (including up a flight of stairs) was hilarious.  I guess I should have invested in maternity undies after all. 

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: Random Insanity

Good afternoon Humble Readers...

Thank you so much for you kind words on last night's post.  I really appreciate all your support.

*****
So, here's the current scene in the hobbit hole. 

That's my entryway and kitchen.  (And, yes, that's the crib in its box in my living room.)  Yikes!  As it turns out, it's likely going to be a two day job.  They had to chop our old furnace into pieces to get it out.  Thankfully, I was at a doctor appointment while that was going on.  Like everything in our condo, the furnace room is small, so it makes for cramped work spaces for the guys doing the work.   It will be great once it's done, but this sort of thing just sets me on edge.  The one installer is very talkative, so I've heard all about his BIL who lives with him and the drama that has taken over his house.

*****
As I mentioned, I had a doctor appointment today.  It was with Dr. B, my regular family doctor.  Dr. U is on vacation, but he didn't want me to go a week without a check in about my insulin and blood sugar numbers.  My interaction today with Dr. B reminded me why I wish that Dr. U was a regular GP and not just an OB.  Dr. B is not very supportive or encouraging about anything.  He made the usual "we need to make sure you don't gain too much weight" comment, even tho I am still below my pre-pregnancy weight by a pound and a half.  He took my blood pressure (130 over 70), and commented that "even though it appears normal" he's sure we'll have to increase the dosage on my meds sooner rather than later (he said that same thing when he first put me on the lobetalol, 10 weeks ago).  He was also fairly condescending about my blood sugar numbers.  He was "very concerned" that my fasting sugars are still so high (averaging 6.9-7-3 most days), and then clucked and hmmmm-ed over my food log.  Yes, I have allowed myself a few treats here and there, but for 90% of the time, I have been very good.  Anyway, the new plan is to add a morning shot of the long acting insulin to see if we can get my baseline blood sugars down, and then things should fall into place.  Should...

*****
I came across this article today... I think it would freak the tar out of me if I saw one of these speed bumps ahead of me. 

*****
On the menu tonight: Lazy cabbage roll casserole.  We'll see how it goes.  I've only ever made traditional cabbage rolls, so this seems a little odd.  But if it works, then I won't have to spend a ton of time burning my fingers making 'real' ones.

*****
Autumn is definitely here.  Trees are turning colour dramatically.  It's been rainy and brisk all week.  A year ago this time it was still hot and dry.  So much for my hopes of a late winter.  *sigh*  Oh well... it's been making me think of turkey and pumpkins... Thanksgiving is a month away (for those of us north of the 49th parallel) and I'm looking forward to cooking a big meal. 

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: The Saga Continues

Good Morning Humble Readers -

Well... my Beloved did his best, but in the end, the faucet defeated him.  I am currently without water in my kitchen.  Have been since last night.  Plumber probably won't be here until tomorrow morning.  Fun times!

*****
I went to see Dr. U today.  Just a follow up on my GD, to see how things are going.  He's still not totally happy with my numbers (the mornings especially are far from great), but he set my mind at ease by telling me that it takes time to get the right balance of insulin and my ever changing body chemistry.  He said that we may be playing catch up for the rest of this pregnancy, because as the baby grows my need for insulin will continue to increase.  I got a quick peak at the Halfling, and he/she seems to be turning a bit... no longer completely transverse.  My weight is also down again... now officially lower than my pre-pregnancy weight for two visits to the doctor in a row. 

*****
So, the stove... I am so happy with our new stove!  It's awesome!  Ceramic flat-top with a warming zone and one burner with turbo boil.  Self-cleaning convection oven, that can convert a regular cooking setting to a convection setting at the push of a button.  And the bake element is hidden.  My only complaint is that the storage drawer underneath is smaller so I have had to find space in my cupboards for a few pans and things.  But what I'm most proud of is my mad negotiating skills (ok, not really, but I can pretend).  We shopped around, and the best deal was at Sears.  Regular price on the stove was $1249, but because it was last year's model it was marked down to $799.  We agreed to take the floor model (no dings or scratches or anything), so with a three year 'protection agreement' included (valued at $139, which we will get back in three years if we don't need to use it) we paid $769.  Delivery and taking away our old stove was extra, but all in all, I'm happy.

*****
My next u/s has been booked for 32 weeks, so first week of October. 

*****
In an ironic twist, I have to attend a meeting in Calgary in mid September, for work.  The meeting is to help me be a better manager (coaching staff, directing how things go on the sales floor, driving sales, etc).  The meeting takes place two weeks before I start my mat leave.  Hilarious!

Not Quite There Yet (But Getting Better)

Good Morning Humble Readers...

Things this morning are looking much sunnier than they did a couple of days ago. 

They (the nurses at the DEC) have changed my insulin levels, and have given me some direction for what to do to keep things going the way they should.  My new units are: 7 with breakfast, 5 with lunch and dinner, and 7 at bedtime.  The bedtime dose is to keep on increasing each night until my fasting blood sugar is where it's supposed to be.  They may add another dose of the longer acting insulin in the morning, but that will be decided next week. 

My body is also handling the insulin better.  I didn't feel like as much of an emotional basket case yesterday... and my hunger is not quite as intense.  (It does come in waves tho, which feels strange.)  The Halfling isn't quite sure what to make of the insulin... he/she kind of flips out shortly after each shot. 

The challenge now, is to find foods that I like to eat and cook that fit into what I'm allowed to have.  I'm getting sick of things like peanut butter and salads (not together of course).  I miss pasta and potatoes.  And juice! 

Thank you so much for bearing with me through this.  I really appreciate it.

*****
In other sunny news, the crib arrived yesterday as well.  Now the giant box is in our living room taking up space.  But that's ok... it's here!

And we are going stove shopping tomorrow.  I found one online that I think is a good fit for us, plus it's a bit of a step up from what we've had (self-cleaning oven!), without being ridiculously expensive. 

Stormy Weather

Good evening Humble Readers...

There really is a storm on it's way in tonight.  The weather network is saying that this is the end of summer weather for us... at least for now.

But there's also a storm going on inside me.  I don't want to keep whining about this, but today has brought new GD challenges, and I need to vent.  Please feel free to slap me out of my pouty pity party.

I went to the Diabetes Education clinic today to learn about how to administer the insulin.  The time I spent with the nurse was good, and I left feeling confident of my abilities to manage the needles and all. 

Then came lunch time.  I was running late to get to work after the appointment at the DEC, so I stopped at a chinese restaurant and got some chop suey for lunch.  I waited to eat until I got to the store so that I could do my first shot. 

The shot itself went well.  I forgot to count to ten before taking the needle out, but other than that, it didn't hurt and I think I did okay. 

But then, less than two hours later, I was feeling awful.  Weepy, tired, hungry, shakey, and very very irritable.  I checked my blood sugar and it was 6.7... right where it should be.  But it felt like I really needed to eat a full meal.  I had a bit of orange juice and some nuts, and felt better for a while.  But as soon as I started getting hungry again, I turned into the she-biotch from hell. 

I have a follow-up with the nurse at the DEC tomorrow (over the phone), so I'm hoping she can make some recommendations to help.  I just feel like a physical and emotional wreck. 

Who knows, maybe it's just pregnancy hormones on top of the stress of dealing with all these changes.  Maybe I'm just as psycho-biotch from hell, and never noticed. 

*****
In other 'stormy' news... the crib never arrived yesterday.  I don't know what's going on.  I scheduled the delivery with UPS.  Grrr...

Oh, and remember how our oven died a couple of weeks ago?  Well, the repair guy came, and found that it was some sort of sensor in the back, kind of like a fuse.  He tweaked it, and it's working now, but there is no indication of when it could crap out again.  With my luck, it will be in the middle of cooking Thanksgiving dinner.  The super great news is that the part we need  is something that no one has in stock, and no one manufactures any more.  

Fantastic day, huh?

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: The Inevitable

Good Morning Humble Readers...

I hope all is well, where ever you are on this blue marble of ours.  Things here on the flatland are mostly mellow today.  The sun has decided to make a reappearance, and we are actually supposed to be seeing some summer-like weather again for a few days.  For the last week or so it has really felt like fall is just around the corner.  Where did the summer go?

*****
I have had a few people asking me if I am going to post a belly shot anytime soon... and while I am sorry to disappoint, the answer is no.  Honestly, because of my pre-pregnancy weight, I don't really look all that pregnant.  Yes, I have to wear maternity clothes because my regular stuff doesn't fit anymore, but if you didn't know I was pregnant, you really couldn't tell... at least not yet.  Maybe you will get to see me and my belly in a month's time. 

*****
You know you have short legs when... you order a pair of maternity jeans from the (plus size) petites section of the website, and when you get them they are still almost an inch too long.  *sigh*  It's not like I'm crazy short like my aunts (I'm a very tall woman for my bio-dad's side of the family), I'm 5'4''.  But apparently I have little stumps for legs.  Too bad I never learned how to sew! 

*****
So, I went and saw Dr. U this morning.  I got a quick peak at the Halfling... still transverse, which is okay for now, lying head to the left and bum to the right.  It explains all the movement I am getting over my right hip... those little feet are active.  Heartbeat was 153.  According to Dr. U's scale I have lost 2kg (4.4lbs) in the last two weeks, thanks to the diabetic diet I'm on. 

*****
Sooooo... Dr. U took a look at my log book for my blood sugar levels and he immediately decided it was time for insulin.  He commended me for trying so hard with my diet, but that it just wasn't working, and he doesn't want to take another week to see if we can get the numbers any lower.  So, insulin it is.  I have an appointment with the nurse at the diabetes clinic tomorrow morning to learn how to administer the insulin, and how to use all the stuff I got today at the pharmacy.  The details, for those of you that get what all this means, are: Humalog - 6 units at breakfast, 4 units at lunch, 4 units at dinner & HumulinN - 6 units at bedtime.  They gave me the pen thing, rather than a traditional syringe, which is supposed to be easier.  I know many of you are already well-versed at giving yourselves shots with all the IF stuff, but I never did that, so I'm a bit nervous.  Several years ago, I had to give my mom chemo shots, so I don't imagine it will be much different... only this time I'll be sticking the needle in me. 

*****
The crib we ordered is supposed to arrive today!  I can't believe we are going to have a crib... in our house!  Of course, the nursery still isn't anywhere near ready, so the box will have to sit in the hall for a while, but it's still going to be in our house!  Yay! 

*****
We had a little house guest for most of the last week... Sunny the Pug came to stay for a few days whilst his mom & dad were out of town.  We won't be able to have him many more times before baby stuff takes over the house (Sunny always comes with a kennel, a bed, and a huge pen that  we can keep him in during the day so that he stays off the furniture while we're at work).  It was fun to have him again, and now that he's gone, I keep looking for him.  He has become very attached to my Beloved and gets upset when he sees him put his coat and shoes on. 

*****
Does anyone have any good ideas for roasting acorn squash that don't involve brown sugar?  I have one that I need to use up, but of course I'm trying to not use sugar if I can help it.  Also, I'm trying to incorporate more beans into my diet for the protein, but I have never cooked much with them.  Any ideas?

ICLW Randomness (Stolen From Minta)

Good morning Humble Readers...

I love memes!  And I love ICLW!  So, of course I felt the need to do one for my first ICLW post of the month.  I stole this one from Minta a few weeks ago, and have been just waiting for the right time to use it.  Oddly enough, this one is missing a question for #4, so I made up my own.  :)

1) If you could live in any country but the Canada, where would you live?  Somewhere in the UK, or maybe New Zealand.  Someplace green and fresh. 

2) Why did you title your blog “Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings”?  I remember the first time I read "The Hobbit" many years ago... I fell in love with the inhabitants of the Shire, and recognized a lot of myself in them.  I feel as though I could be related to them, two or three times removed.  I'm short, round, love good food, good books, and good friends.  I like things to be mellow, orderly, and calm, but have a slight craving for the occassional adventure.  Even though I don't have hairy feet, I do prefer to go shoeless and sockless much of the time.  About the only hobbit-ish trait that I don't fully exhibit is the ability to grow things... I love the idea of gardening and can appreciate a beautifully tended garden, but I can't make it happen myself.  Heaven knows, I've tried.  When it came time to name my blog, I wanted it to be a place where I could talk about the things that are important to me (as simple or as complex as they may be), and I immediately thought of my hobbit 'cousins'. 

3) How many “in real life” people know about your blog?  Locally, not many.  There are a few co-workers who know about my blog, but as far as I know only one reads (Hi, S!).  Maybe I will let others know about it once I go on mat leave.  No one in my family, other than my Beloved know about it.  A few of my friends from far away know about and read my blog.  It's been a good way to reconnect with some of them. 

4) Why did you decide to start blogging?  I set up this blog almost two years ago, during my first pregnancy.  I had hoped to record the journey we were on building our family.  A few days after I set it up, and before my first post, we lost Emily Hope.  I wrote a couple of posts while I was in the midst of that grief, and then when we decided to start trying again.  Sadly, this little hobbit-hole languished for a few months with no action.  I didn't come back to it again until, after we lost our second little one, Olivia Noelle.  A good friend from one of the message boards I frequented encouraged me to check out the ALI (adoption, loss, infertility) community and there's been no looking back since.  I have found incredible support, friendship, and knowledge in this community, and I know I couldn't be here now without it. 

5) What kind of clothes do you wear?  Casual or Business Casual for work.  I love my jeans and tshirts. 

6) What are you having for dinner tonight?  Beloved is having perogies and sausage.  I'll be at work, so I'll get a salad from Qui.znos.

7) Where do you “blog”?  Sitting on my comfy red couch, in my school bus yellow living room. 

8) Do you like to cook?  Ummm yeah!  That love has been put to the test lately, with the GD diagnosis.  We'll see what comes in the next few weeks. 

9) What’s your beverage of choice at night?  I confess that I am an iced-tea junkie.  But again, since I have been pregnant I have tried to stay away from it as much as possible.  Water is now pretty much all I drink.

10) What would you most like to know about your fellow bloggers who read this?  I want to know why they started blogging.  What was it that made this form of communicating and interacting with others interesting to you?

******
Thank you all so much for your supportive comments on my last post.  This whole situation is still very discouraging, but I am tryng to just accept it for what it is and roll with it.  I need to stop googling blood sugar levels, and the possible results of GD.  I have an appointment with Dr. U on Wednesday, and I'm hoping that he can provide me with some context and maybe some hope.  If insulin is in my future, then I guess I will deal with that.  I just can't seem to shake the worry and fear. 

Warning: Whining Ahead

Howdy Humble Readers...

I'm sorry folks, but I'm feeling really discouraged today, and I need to vent a little. 

I went to the Gestational Diabetes clinic today to learn how to check my blood sugar, and about the dietary element of controlling it.  It was a lot of great information, and I was feeling a bit proud of myself, because looking at the nutrition stuff I was actually getting a lot of it right.  Granted I need to increase my protien intake (particularly at breakfast), but everything else was looking really really good.

So, what was my blood sugar level when I tested at the clinic (two hours after breakfast)?  9.9.  What was it after lunch?  9.2.  And after dinner?  10!  It should be less than 6.7.  I'm going to end up on insulin for sure. 

Talk about feeling like a failure.