Greetings Humble Reaaders....
Happy St. Patrick's Day to you all!! I hope you're enjoying a little bit of the luck o' the Irish today! So tell me, how Irish are you? Do you have a little bit of leprechaun blood flowing through your veins? My Grandfather claims that we're Irish through and through, but I'm 7th generation Canadian on that side of the family (granted there have been influxes of fresher Irish blood through the years, but we've been here for a while). Grandpa even gets a funny Irish accent when he's been tossing a few back. :)
*****
So, I finally did it. I bit the bullet and I got a haircut. I haven't had one for over a year, other than getting my bangs trimmed. I don't have a regular hairdresser any more, and I just haven't found someone that I really trust yet (in five years... so sad!). I got about 4 inches cut off... and it really doesn't look all that different. Just healthier. I knew I wanted to keep it simple because, really, I have no time for fussing with my hair on a daily basis. It's still long enough to put up in a ponytail or a clip, BUT I did switch to a side part from a center part (shocking! I know, I'm *soooo* trendy... more like pathetic) and I now have side bangs. Woohoo!
*****
After my haircut, I went to my old bookstore (where I used to work) to do a little window shopping and chat with some old friends. Honestly, it was just so nice to get out of the house for a couple of hours and be me for a while (as opposed to the great-and-evil-NO-momster). Thankfully, there was a ridiculously long line at the Sta.rbucks, so I wasn't at all tempted to get something naughty.
*****
Speaking of books, I have just finished re-reading the Hunger Games series, and I was reminded why I loved it so much the first time around. Even though it inspired some pretty crazy dreams, it is just so well written and engaging. I'm really looking forward to seeing the movie, and if we can get a sitter, we might actually see it on openning night.
*****
From the ever-so-slightly-scary file... there was a break-in in our building last week. My Beloved came home from work on Thursday and asked if I had heard anything strange during the day. Other than our neighbours' most recent screaming match, there had been nothing out of the ordinary. It turns out that the basement unit on the back side of the building was broken into. I'm fairly creeped out that it happened while I was at home.
*****
Tomorrow, after church, we're off to my MIL's for the afternoon and for dinner. I'm hoping that maybe his brothers might be there, too. We haven't seen them in ages and ages.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Foodie Fridays: Quickie Buns!!
Hey Humble Readers...
I hope that you've all had a good week. Things in our little hobbit-hole have been challenging, but productive. Ginny's most recent very long drawn out round of teething has finally resulted in something... her first molar! While she's teething, she seems to be much more likely to get herself into trouble like messing with Mommy's books, destroying the shoe rack, or pushing all the buttons on the dvr. Today she actually managed to almost post on my blog. She pushed a bunch of random keys on my netbook and when I got back to the computer, there was a new post started, all gibberish (not that that's so different from what I post, but still...). She alternated between particularly mischievous and completely inconsolable this morning, but after her nap she was a much much happier wee girl. And there was a shiny new tooth!
But somehow, in the midst of dealing with a truly unhappy toddler, I managed to make these buns the other day. I've actually made them a few times, and I've loved them every single time. The original recipe called these "30 Minute Rolls" but if you do the math on the times quoted, it actually adds up to 35 minutes. Combine that with the fact that I tweaked the baking time a bit, and well, 'quickie buns' just works. AND considering that these are yeast rolls, anything less than two hours is pretty gosh darn awesome!
Quickie Buns
1 cup + 2 tbsp warm water (I heat mine in the microwave for about 40 seconds)
1/3 cup canola or olive oil
2 tbsp fast acting yeast
1/4 cup sugar (do not sub in Spl.enda... I learned this the hard way)
1 tsp salt
1 egg
3 1/2 cup flour
Preheat your oven to 400F, and grease/spray a 9x13 baking pan. In your mixer bowl combine the water, oil, yeast and sugar and allow it to rest for 15 minutes. Using your dough hook, mix in the salt, egg and flour. Knead with hook until will incorporated and dough is soft and smooth, 2-3 minutes. (Honestly, I don't know how long to knead the dough for if you don't have a mixer with a dough hook... I'm sorry. I'm a bit dense when it comes to baking.)
Form dough into 12 balls, place in prepared pan, and allow to rest, covered with a towel, for 10 minutes. Bake for 15-17 minutes.
Like I mentioned previously, the original recipe called for the rolls to be baked for 10 minutes, but I found that they came out too pale and doughy for me. Keep an eye on them as they bake... everyone's oven is different.
I hope that you've all had a good week. Things in our little hobbit-hole have been challenging, but productive. Ginny's most recent very long drawn out round of teething has finally resulted in something... her first molar! While she's teething, she seems to be much more likely to get herself into trouble like messing with Mommy's books, destroying the shoe rack, or pushing all the buttons on the dvr. Today she actually managed to almost post on my blog. She pushed a bunch of random keys on my netbook and when I got back to the computer, there was a new post started, all gibberish (not that that's so different from what I post, but still...). She alternated between particularly mischievous and completely inconsolable this morning, but after her nap she was a much much happier wee girl. And there was a shiny new tooth!
But somehow, in the midst of dealing with a truly unhappy toddler, I managed to make these buns the other day. I've actually made them a few times, and I've loved them every single time. The original recipe called these "30 Minute Rolls" but if you do the math on the times quoted, it actually adds up to 35 minutes. Combine that with the fact that I tweaked the baking time a bit, and well, 'quickie buns' just works. AND considering that these are yeast rolls, anything less than two hours is pretty gosh darn awesome!
Quickie Buns
1 cup + 2 tbsp warm water (I heat mine in the microwave for about 40 seconds)
1/3 cup canola or olive oil
2 tbsp fast acting yeast
1/4 cup sugar (do not sub in Spl.enda... I learned this the hard way)
1 tsp salt
1 egg
3 1/2 cup flour
Preheat your oven to 400F, and grease/spray a 9x13 baking pan. In your mixer bowl combine the water, oil, yeast and sugar and allow it to rest for 15 minutes. Using your dough hook, mix in the salt, egg and flour. Knead with hook until will incorporated and dough is soft and smooth, 2-3 minutes. (Honestly, I don't know how long to knead the dough for if you don't have a mixer with a dough hook... I'm sorry. I'm a bit dense when it comes to baking.)
 |
| I need to work on my bun rolling skills! They aren't very evenly sized. |
 |
| After resting for 10 minutes |
 |
| The finished product - these actually ended up baking for about 20 minutes because I got distracted. The crust was a bit chewier than usual, but they were still great. |
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Week 30: Spring Is In The Air (or Not...)
Howdy Humble Readers...
I hope you all are enjoying some spring-like weather, where ever you are. It's been unseasonably warm here on the northern flatland, and with the big dump of snow we got last week everything is still sloppy and slushy. But it has been nice enough to have the windows of the house open in the afternoons. I'm loving the fresh air!!
I'm anxious for spring to get here. I'm tired of being cooped up in the house all the time. I'm hoping, once the ice and slush are gone, to be able to go for short walks in the afternoon with Ginny. She needs to get outside, and we both need to activity. The reality is, we may yet get another blast of winter. The first year that I lived in our little city it snowed at the end of May. Last year we got snow in June. It's not the norm, but it does happen.
(I wrote the above this afternoon... before we had a mini blizzard. **sigh** The weatherman told us it would be rain.)
In other news... Sadly, we found out that we aren't going to be able to go away for our anniversary next month as we had planned. I'm bummed, but hopefully we'll be able to do it next year. It just would have been nice to do something a bit big for our fifth.
And from the 'doh!' file... Because it was a bit of a hectic day, I forgot to call Dr. W's office on Friday to find out about the ultrasound results (if they were able to determine if it's placenta previa or not). I called Monday, and discovered that her office is closed for the week. I see her at the hospital next week Monday while I have an NST, but she won't have my file there, so I doubt she'll know.
On to this week's update...
How far along? 30w0d (8 weeks to go)
Maternity clothes? Yup!
Body Oddities? VERY dry skin, alternating constipation and IBS flares, acne, back ache, cracking joints, super sore & slightly leaky boobs, dry/itchy eyes, leg cramps, round ligament pain, tingly fingertips, tired, gassy, Braxton Hicks, tendonitis in my thumbs, NEW THIS WEEK: nothing much
Sleep? Hit and miss. I'm back to waking up between 3 and 4 am. I end up being awake for an hour or two and then falling asleep on the couch.
Intense Dreams? Re-reading the Hunger Games series has messed with my head. Lots of weird hunting/being hunted dreams. With a little of bombings and explosions thrown in for good measure.
Best moment this week? Making progress on my massive to do list. It feels good to be working toward something.
Worst moment? Honestly, Ginny's having a rough week. Between teething (that is showing no discernible progress), a growth spurt, and attempting the switch from two naps to one... it's been a challenging few days.
Movement? I think the Halfling has turned finally. Oh, and the little one has had the hiccups a few times this week. Still waiting for the moment when Ginny feels a kick.
Food cravings/aversions? Shamrock shakes... (thanks a lot, Amy! LOL) Thank heaven they are only available for another week. Then the temptation will be gone. Really, I just want anything ice cold.
Rings? Still on... I have, this week, reached my pre-pregnancy weight. It's a couple of weeks ahead of last time, but I'm not overly concerned. I just need to keep things under control from here on out.
Gender? I had a brief stretch when I was getting 'boy' vibes, but I'm back to thinking of the Halfling as a girl.
Medical Concerns? Gestational Diabetes (insulin 5 times a day), High blood pressure (on 50mg of lobetalol 3x daily), continued heartburn (on 60mg of Pan.taloc daily), kidney stones, low lying placenta, low iron.
What I miss? Being able to get things out of the bottom of the fridge or the lower cupboards.
What I look forward to? My Dad may be coming to town for work again later this month. I'm hoping that he'll be able to spare some time to help me do a couple of things around the house.
Emotional State? Mostly okay this week. I've had some bad stretches, but overall, better than last week.
I hope you all are enjoying some spring-like weather, where ever you are. It's been unseasonably warm here on the northern flatland, and with the big dump of snow we got last week everything is still sloppy and slushy. But it has been nice enough to have the windows of the house open in the afternoons. I'm loving the fresh air!!
I'm anxious for spring to get here. I'm tired of being cooped up in the house all the time. I'm hoping, once the ice and slush are gone, to be able to go for short walks in the afternoon with Ginny. She needs to get outside, and we both need to activity. The reality is, we may yet get another blast of winter. The first year that I lived in our little city it snowed at the end of May. Last year we got snow in June. It's not the norm, but it does happen.
(I wrote the above this afternoon... before we had a mini blizzard. **sigh** The weatherman told us it would be rain.)
In other news... Sadly, we found out that we aren't going to be able to go away for our anniversary next month as we had planned. I'm bummed, but hopefully we'll be able to do it next year. It just would have been nice to do something a bit big for our fifth.
And from the 'doh!' file... Because it was a bit of a hectic day, I forgot to call Dr. W's office on Friday to find out about the ultrasound results (if they were able to determine if it's placenta previa or not). I called Monday, and discovered that her office is closed for the week. I see her at the hospital next week Monday while I have an NST, but she won't have my file there, so I doubt she'll know.
On to this week's update...
How far along? 30w0d (8 weeks to go)
Maternity clothes? Yup!
Body Oddities? VERY dry skin, alternating constipation and IBS flares, acne, back ache, cracking joints, super sore & slightly leaky boobs, dry/itchy eyes, leg cramps, round ligament pain, tingly fingertips, tired, gassy, Braxton Hicks, tendonitis in my thumbs, NEW THIS WEEK: nothing much
Sleep? Hit and miss. I'm back to waking up between 3 and 4 am. I end up being awake for an hour or two and then falling asleep on the couch.
Intense Dreams? Re-reading the Hunger Games series has messed with my head. Lots of weird hunting/being hunted dreams. With a little of bombings and explosions thrown in for good measure.
Best moment this week? Making progress on my massive to do list. It feels good to be working toward something.
Worst moment? Honestly, Ginny's having a rough week. Between teething (that is showing no discernible progress), a growth spurt, and attempting the switch from two naps to one... it's been a challenging few days.
Movement? I think the Halfling has turned finally. Oh, and the little one has had the hiccups a few times this week. Still waiting for the moment when Ginny feels a kick.
Food cravings/aversions? Shamrock shakes... (thanks a lot, Amy! LOL) Thank heaven they are only available for another week. Then the temptation will be gone. Really, I just want anything ice cold.
Rings? Still on... I have, this week, reached my pre-pregnancy weight. It's a couple of weeks ahead of last time, but I'm not overly concerned. I just need to keep things under control from here on out.
Gender? I had a brief stretch when I was getting 'boy' vibes, but I'm back to thinking of the Halfling as a girl.
Medical Concerns? Gestational Diabetes (insulin 5 times a day), High blood pressure (on 50mg of lobetalol 3x daily), continued heartburn (on 60mg of Pan.taloc daily), kidney stones, low lying placenta, low iron.
What I miss? Being able to get things out of the bottom of the fridge or the lower cupboards.
What I look forward to? My Dad may be coming to town for work again later this month. I'm hoping that he'll be able to spare some time to help me do a couple of things around the house.
Emotional State? Mostly okay this week. I've had some bad stretches, but overall, better than last week.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Breastfeeding: Am I A Sucker For Punishment?
Greetings Humble Readers...
When I was expecting Ginny, I had great grand intentions.
I was going to exclusively breastfeed for at least six months. I followed all the well-intentioned advice I was given by other women in my life... my sister, my MIL, friends, nurses, my childbirth class instructor. I got rid of all the free samples of formula that I had in the house, and I didn't buy any bottles. I totally bought into the idea that if I didn't have it handy, then I wouldn't be tempted to 'cheat'.
My birthplan indicated that I wanted skin to skin contact as soon as possible and that I wanted a lactation consultant to visit early to help us get started. I wanted to do everything I could to make breastfeeding a reality for us.
Then, thanks primarily to the gestational diabetes, I went through a three day induction that led to a c-section. Ginny was born at 8:42pm. Because of the c-section, and Ginny needing to be monitored (for blood sugars) in the Special Care Nursery for a few hours, it wasn't until after midnight that I got to hold her.
Right away, we got started trying. But just like getting and staying pregnant, breastfeeding did not come easily. It wasn't long before my poor wee girl was screaming in frustration and hunger, and I was in tears.
The problem? I had nothing to give her.
I knew that I had strikes against me... obesity, gestational diabetes, being induced, and the c-section... all are things that play a role in how challenging breastfeeding can be. I had the perfect storm. But I believed when everyone told me that it would happen, it would just take some work.
The nurses I had that night tried to show me how to do a football hold, how to express milk manually, and how to use the breast pump. Nothing worked. After trying to follow their instructions on how to express milk myself, and not getting anything, one nurse grabbed my already sore bo.ob to show me what I 'was doing wrong'. After a few agonizing minutes, all I was left with was a feeling of failure, a very bruised bo.ob, and two drops of collostrum.
A nurse (who was supposed to be THE nurse on the maternity ward... the one who could get any baby to latch and get the process started for even the most challenging case) came to see me the next morning. She went through everything that the nurses tried the night before, commented on my bruised bo.obs, and watched as I used the pump as I had been shown. After 15 minutes of pumping, I had less than 5 millileters of milk from ol' Righty and nothing from Lefty. This guru of the maternity ward just shrugged, said to keep trying, and left.
Each new nurse I had during my three days after delivery had some sure-fired way to get things to work. Different holds, different ways to express milk, pump one side at a time, pump both together, feed her through a tube while holding her to my breast, feed her through a tube while she sucks on my finger. Each one told me something differently. And on the second night, when I was having a major melt-down, right along with Ginny, one nurse told me that I was being ridiculous and that if I would just relax everything would work the way it was supposed to. (Sound familiar?) She said that I should stop starving my daugher, just give Ginny the bottle and in a couple of days, if I wanted to I could try again.
I caved. I gave her the bottle. When we got home, we had nothing to help feed her except a couple of little bottles that came with the pump we rented. I had to send my Beloved out to get bottles and formula on his own.
I continued to try to breastfeed, with varying levels of success. When the public health nurse came by for her routine visit, she set me up with an appointment with a different lactation consultant. That LC went through the same things that all the other nurses did. I was put on the highest dose allowed of dom.peridone to increase my milk supply, and following the LC's advice I started taking fenugreek. I bought and read the La Leche League book (which honestly I found useless and just more damaging emotionally).
When Ginny was 4 weeks old, things started to improve a bit. I was pumping constantly, and yes I cried over spilled milk a few times. At our best, we were down to one bottle of formula a day, along with breast feeding and pumped milk. I still dreaded every feeding, but at least I felt like it was being productive. But when Ginny hit her 6 week growth spurt, I just couldn't keep up.
Our breast feeding saga slowly wound down from there, until my wee girl was three months old, and nursing for five minutes, twice a day. That was the end.
Since that time, I have learned a few things.
I have found that I can express a few drops now from either side (Righty is still more productive), but just like last time the girls haven't really changed all that much... they hurt more than they did last time, like a constant premenstrual bo.ob ache. I hope that these things are signs of good things to come, but I'm trying not to put too much faith in it.
Breastfeeding is a natural thing, but that certainly doesn't mean it comes naturally. The benefits to mother and child are astounding. But the pressure we put on ourselves or that we allow others to put on us can be detrimental.
Like everything in life, it requires balance and patience. Oh heavens, it needs patience.
When I was expecting Ginny, I had great grand intentions.
I was going to exclusively breastfeed for at least six months. I followed all the well-intentioned advice I was given by other women in my life... my sister, my MIL, friends, nurses, my childbirth class instructor. I got rid of all the free samples of formula that I had in the house, and I didn't buy any bottles. I totally bought into the idea that if I didn't have it handy, then I wouldn't be tempted to 'cheat'.
My birthplan indicated that I wanted skin to skin contact as soon as possible and that I wanted a lactation consultant to visit early to help us get started. I wanted to do everything I could to make breastfeeding a reality for us.
Then, thanks primarily to the gestational diabetes, I went through a three day induction that led to a c-section. Ginny was born at 8:42pm. Because of the c-section, and Ginny needing to be monitored (for blood sugars) in the Special Care Nursery for a few hours, it wasn't until after midnight that I got to hold her.
Right away, we got started trying. But just like getting and staying pregnant, breastfeeding did not come easily. It wasn't long before my poor wee girl was screaming in frustration and hunger, and I was in tears.
The problem? I had nothing to give her.
I knew that I had strikes against me... obesity, gestational diabetes, being induced, and the c-section... all are things that play a role in how challenging breastfeeding can be. I had the perfect storm. But I believed when everyone told me that it would happen, it would just take some work.
The nurses I had that night tried to show me how to do a football hold, how to express milk manually, and how to use the breast pump. Nothing worked. After trying to follow their instructions on how to express milk myself, and not getting anything, one nurse grabbed my already sore bo.ob to show me what I 'was doing wrong'. After a few agonizing minutes, all I was left with was a feeling of failure, a very bruised bo.ob, and two drops of collostrum.
A nurse (who was supposed to be THE nurse on the maternity ward... the one who could get any baby to latch and get the process started for even the most challenging case) came to see me the next morning. She went through everything that the nurses tried the night before, commented on my bruised bo.obs, and watched as I used the pump as I had been shown. After 15 minutes of pumping, I had less than 5 millileters of milk from ol' Righty and nothing from Lefty. This guru of the maternity ward just shrugged, said to keep trying, and left.
Each new nurse I had during my three days after delivery had some sure-fired way to get things to work. Different holds, different ways to express milk, pump one side at a time, pump both together, feed her through a tube while holding her to my breast, feed her through a tube while she sucks on my finger. Each one told me something differently. And on the second night, when I was having a major melt-down, right along with Ginny, one nurse told me that I was being ridiculous and that if I would just relax everything would work the way it was supposed to. (Sound familiar?) She said that I should stop starving my daugher, just give Ginny the bottle and in a couple of days, if I wanted to I could try again.
I caved. I gave her the bottle. When we got home, we had nothing to help feed her except a couple of little bottles that came with the pump we rented. I had to send my Beloved out to get bottles and formula on his own.
I continued to try to breastfeed, with varying levels of success. When the public health nurse came by for her routine visit, she set me up with an appointment with a different lactation consultant. That LC went through the same things that all the other nurses did. I was put on the highest dose allowed of dom.peridone to increase my milk supply, and following the LC's advice I started taking fenugreek. I bought and read the La Leche League book (which honestly I found useless and just more damaging emotionally).
When Ginny was 4 weeks old, things started to improve a bit. I was pumping constantly, and yes I cried over spilled milk a few times. At our best, we were down to one bottle of formula a day, along with breast feeding and pumped milk. I still dreaded every feeding, but at least I felt like it was being productive. But when Ginny hit her 6 week growth spurt, I just couldn't keep up.
Our breast feeding saga slowly wound down from there, until my wee girl was three months old, and nursing for five minutes, twice a day. That was the end.
Since that time, I have learned a few things.
- My bo.obs hardly changed at all during pregnancy. Other than being sore during the first trimester, they didn't change in shape or size. This should have been an early sign that things weren't going to be normal.
- I never experienced 'let down'. My sister talked about the sensation hurting, especially the first time. My Beloved's niece-in-law talked about the tingly sensation she experienced whenever her little guy cried. Other than a few twinges in Righty, I never felt anything. Another red flag.
- Women who have dealt with diabetes should really not expect their milk to come in until the latter half of the first week after delivery. No one told me this, ever. I found it out on a GD-mommies message board.
- Fenugreek does not work for women who have (or have had) diabetes. In fact, it has the opposite effect. I was working against myself just by taking the herbs.
- I'm a large woman. And those involved parts of my anatomy aren't delicate little flowers, by any stretch. This made latching hard for Ginny. Also, big bo.obs do not have anything to do with the amount of milk you have.
I have found that I can express a few drops now from either side (Righty is still more productive), but just like last time the girls haven't really changed all that much... they hurt more than they did last time, like a constant premenstrual bo.ob ache. I hope that these things are signs of good things to come, but I'm trying not to put too much faith in it.
Breastfeeding is a natural thing, but that certainly doesn't mean it comes naturally. The benefits to mother and child are astounding. But the pressure we put on ourselves or that we allow others to put on us can be detrimental.
Like everything in life, it requires balance and patience. Oh heavens, it needs patience.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Defining Community
Greetings Humble Readers... I have waffled considerably about writing this post, and while I may not be as eloquent as some, I feel it's important to speak to the issues that have arisen this past week within the ALI (adoption, loss, infertility) community.
(In an effort to be completely transparent, yes I am parenting after battling IF and RPL. And yes, I am currently pregnant with what will hopefully be our last Halfling. This colours my view, just as the past four years have shaped who I am.)
For me, in this whole mess, the ultimate issue comes down, not to who's a parent and who's not, but who we are as a whole. How do we define community?
Merriam-Webster defines community this way:
com-mu-ni-ty (noun)
I think, whether we care to admit it or not, we all crave community. A place we fit, a place to belong. A place where we can find others who understand us and share our values or key parts of who we are. Some fill this craving with diverse circle of friends, extended family, or even strangers who support the same favourite sports team. For those of us who felt outside our culture because of our struggles to build our families, we found that online.
As a part of our various interpersonal groups, I think we all hope that we can both give and receive support and fellowship. Having your voice heard is just as important as hearing others.
How can we as the ALI community continue to support each other, even when our circumstances change? Does someone choosing life without children after IF or those parenting after IF need less support than someone who is still in the trenches? Are they in too different a place to reasonably expect that the friendships forged over months and years of cycles, treatments, losses, and hard choices can continue? And is looking for a community within a community a bad thing?
Relationships, within any community, grow and change. This is a universal truth. People will inherently seek out those who are like themselves in some way. But does that negate their previous relationships?
How do you define community?
(In an effort to be completely transparent, yes I am parenting after battling IF and RPL. And yes, I am currently pregnant with what will hopefully be our last Halfling. This colours my view, just as the past four years have shaped who I am.)
For me, in this whole mess, the ultimate issue comes down, not to who's a parent and who's not, but who we are as a whole. How do we define community?
Merriam-Webster defines community this way:
com-mu-ni-ty (noun)
- 1: a unified body of individuals: as
- a : state, commonwealth
- b : the people with common interests living in a particular area; broadly : the area itself
- c : an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location
- d : a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society
- e : a group linked by a common policy
- f: a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political interests
- g : a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society
- 2: society at large
- 3
- a : joint ownership or participation
- b : common character : likeness
- c : social activity : fellowship
- d : a social state or condition
I think, whether we care to admit it or not, we all crave community. A place we fit, a place to belong. A place where we can find others who understand us and share our values or key parts of who we are. Some fill this craving with diverse circle of friends, extended family, or even strangers who support the same favourite sports team. For those of us who felt outside our culture because of our struggles to build our families, we found that online.
As a part of our various interpersonal groups, I think we all hope that we can both give and receive support and fellowship. Having your voice heard is just as important as hearing others.
I don't know about you, but there have been many many times when I wish you all lived down the street or around the corner. I wish I could physically, tangibly offer you support in your trials and celebrate with you in your joys. I wish I could bring you dinner when I know you've had a rough time. I wish I could wipe away your tears when you are devastated. I wish I could share a hug with you when you are victorious. (But as an old friend often reminded me... if wishes and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.) There have been monumental occasions when this community has pulled together in the most astounding ways to provide such support, but logistically, it can't happen on an every day basis.
So instead, as Mel so wisely says in her intro to ICLW each month... 'comments are the new hug'. Comments are how we, within the ALI community, show our support and provide feedback to our community.
So instead, as Mel so wisely says in her intro to ICLW each month... 'comments are the new hug'. Comments are how we, within the ALI community, show our support and provide feedback to our community.
How can we as the ALI community continue to support each other, even when our circumstances change? Does someone choosing life without children after IF or those parenting after IF need less support than someone who is still in the trenches? Are they in too different a place to reasonably expect that the friendships forged over months and years of cycles, treatments, losses, and hard choices can continue? And is looking for a community within a community a bad thing?
Relationships, within any community, grow and change. This is a universal truth. People will inherently seek out those who are like themselves in some way. But does that negate their previous relationships?
How do you define community?
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