While I might not be a hobbit genetically, I do believe that I am one culturally. A homebody at heart, with a fear of (but slight craving for) adventure, who values simple things like good food, good books, and good friends. Chronicling the journey of the unlikely pairing of a Hobbit and an Ent, who have travelled down the road through infertility & RPL, toward building our family. We've come a long way, and now with two precious wee-lings in tow, our road goes ever on and on...
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Show & Tell: Summer on the Flatland
Please don't forget to stop by Mel's place to see what the rest of the class is showing.
Frustration
anyone have any ideas?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
A Break in the Weather
Isn't it amazing how we can't be happy with the weather we get? Just a couple of weeks ago I was wondering if summer would ever actually get here. Now, after two weeks of 30+ degree weather I'm ready for a break.
Of course it could be that I want our un-air-conditioned condo to cool down. It could be that I want to be able to sleep at night.
It's supposed to be cooler all this week. But come next weekend it's supposed to crank back up again. *sigh*
I promise I will post something far more interesting tomorrow... including pictures... I promise.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Milestones (Part the Second)
n.
- A stone marker set up on a roadside to indicate the distance in miles from a given point.
- An important event, as in a person's career, the history of a nation, or the advancement of knowledge in a field; a turning point.
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
A while back I wrote this post about moving on after my second miscarraige. At the time I was celebrating a few different things including getting through an episode of Bringing Home Baby without bawling my eyes out.
Today I am facing a different milestone. One year ago today I got my first bfp. I had woken up early and peed on a stick. I remember staring at that pretty pair of lines. I felt overwhelmed, thrilled, and just a little scared. It felt like we had been waiting so long for this (oh, how little did we know then!) and I couldn't wait to share my news with the world. I actually went online to the ttc bulliten board that I frequented and announced my good news before I told my Beloved (like I said, it was early... I wanted to let him sleep a while).
After spending about an hour hugging the knowledge of our little bean to myself, I went and snuggled in bed with my Beloved. When he was just waking up, I whispered in his ear that he was going to be a daddy. His eyes shot open in shock and I never felt happier.
That happiness lasted for a month and a half. We told our families and friends. We bought a (second hand) stroller and car seat. We made plans for the nursery and maternity leave. We revelled in our joy. And then it ended.
If that little blighted ovum hadn't been so blighted, Emily Hope would be 3 1/2 months old now. I would be on mat leave and we would have a crib in the spare room instead of a few boxes and some empty bookshelves.
So I've been thinking about milestones. A milestone is a place to pause. A place to rest, plan the rest of your journey. To regroup and prepare the next leg of your trip. To take stock of where you are coming from and where you are going. To look back down the road and acknowledge that you were somewhere different than where you are now, and to look ahead to where you are hoping to end up.
Right now, as I sit beside the road and ponder these things, I feel like I'm sitting just below the crown of a hill. I can't see what's next but I hope that my destination isn't that far away. I'm ready to get there. But from this hill I can see where I came from and appreciate how far I've travelled.
And I think the most important thing about a milestone is that it reminds you that you're not quite there.
You have to keep moving forward.
This little wayside pause isn't the end of the road.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Show & Tell: I'm too old but they're too cute!
They are just too yummy for words. All the way through the movie last night I couldn't help thinking that they have sure grown up! (Dra.co in that black suit... wow!)
If I were 15 years younger I'm sure that I would have posters of them all over my bedroom. But I think if I tried that now, my Beloved just might have something to say about it.
If you were a teenager again, who's poster would you be going ga-ga over?
Don't forget to swing by Mel's place to check out what the rest of the class is showing!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Hobbit-ish Potpurri
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We went and saw Harry Potter 6 tonight. It was good, funnier than I would have expected knowing the book. But I was saddened by how much was left out, and how much they added to the story that was just not necessary. Of course I cried towards the end. I'm going to have to reread book 7 now.
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One for the insanity file: I baked cookies last night. Now, you may be asking what is so insane about baking cookies? Well, the insanity comes in when you decide to promise your staff homemade cookies if they achieved a particular level of donations to our chain's in house charity. They did it (yay team!) and I was on the hook for cookies... homebaked cookies... in July... during the hottest week of the year... in a non-airconditioned condo. I made flourless peanut butter chocolate chip cookies (for the gluten free staffers) and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies (for the staffers with nut allergies). And sweated buckets in the process.
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I'm working all opening shifts for the rest of the week... 7am... not fun! I am not a morning person, and having to get up at 5:30 just sucks. I was so grouchy at work this morning I almost ripped both my least and most favourite staff members a new one... And I'm known as the 'nice' manager. *sigh*
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My Beloved's 20th high school reunion is this weekend. 20 years! Holy cow! I need to get a hair cut and colour sometime in the next couple of days.
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To add to my crankiness from having to be up at the butt-crack of dawn this morning, I wanted to order chinese food tonight. I called our usual place... and they were CLOSED! In the middle of the summer! They are closed for vacation. Whoever heard of a restaurant closing for two weeks for vacation? We ended up having KF.C instead, and now my fingers are puffed up like sausages.
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Heat lightning is flashing across the sky tonight. It's been crazy hot for the last couple of days, and it's supposed to last through the weekend. This hot weather has brought out the ridiculous in terms of my customers' wardrobes. If you are going to wear a tube top of any sort... please get yourself a strapless bra! The only thing more disturbing than seeing a woman my size walking around without a bra is seeing one wearing a tube top, with a sports bra on underneath! And gents... if you are wearing white shorts, please don't wear black briefs underneath.
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Ok... it's past 11 now and 5:30 is going to come far too soon. This hobbit needs to get some sleep. Pleasant dreams all, blessings on you!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
July ICLW - The ABCs of Me
I have been hanging on to the idea of doing the ABCs of Me for a while now... but this month I'm stuck for an intro... so without any further ado, this is me!
A - Alberta, Canada... aka 'the flatland'. The place to which I am exiled. (ok, it's not that bad... but I miss the mountains)
B - Books! I have a huge personal library, work in a bookstore, and can't fall asleep without reading. I read and reread all kinds of things... primarily fiction, but also biography, humour, history, and of course teen and kids books.
C - Cooking! I love to cook and I think I'm pretty good at it. My Beloved doesn't complain. :) I always want to try new things, love watching cooking shows, and perusing cookbooks.
D - Dogs! My current obsession. We are trying to come up with a way to convince our condo board to let s have a dog. With all the research I've been doing, I'm still leaning toward a pug.
E - Emily Hope, our first angel baby. Lost September 11, 2008.
F - Fear of Birds! Also known as ornithophobia. Anything with feathers and anything that flies freaks me out. Sparrows, bats, moths, quail, feather dusters... all evil!
G - Green Tea! It's an addiction. I spend waaaaaay too much money on it at Star.bucks every week. Venti green tea lemonade with very light ice... that's me!
H - Herb garden... what I'm trying to grow. I have a black thumb, though, so we'll see how long it survives. There are three basil plants, one rosemary, and one parsley out on my balcony.
I - Irish... if you ask my grandfather, we're irish. He's always talking about the 'old country'. The kicker is, I'm seventh generation Canadian.
J - (who knew J would be so hard?!?) Jasmine... one of my parents' dogs... a sweet little shizu cross. I miss her and her little sister, Sunny.
K - Kelowna... my 'hometown'... currently on fire again. Please send your prayers and good thoughts their direction. My parents' home isn't in danger this time (thank heaven) but it's still frightening.
L - Lemons! I love anything lemony so long as it's savoury and not sweet. Lemon roasted chicken, lemon risotto, lemon poached salmon. Yum!
M - Movies and Musicals! I love both... of all kinds! I'm currently looking forward to seeing Harry Potter 6 (tomorrow night) and Wicked (in September).
N - New York City! Where my Beloved and I are heading in September. It's our much delayed honeymoon. I can't wait!
O - Olivia Noelle, our second angel baby. Lost January 20th, 2009.
P - Pizza... how my Beloved proposed. He had the restaurant spell out the words "Will You Marry Me" in peppers on top of our pizza. It sounds a little odd, but it was very cute!
Q - "Q" is one of my favourite characters on Star Trek TNG (yes I'm a big geek!)
R - Red! My favourite colour... our bedroom is red, our couch is red, my cell phone is red... and I look great in it!
S - September... my birth month, when we're going to NYC, and when we will be done with this ttc break!
T - "T" is my first initial. It was also one of my nicknames in college.
U - Unexplained. At this point, we are in the unexplained category within the world of recurrent pregnancy loss. Two blighted ovums... apparently we are also just plain unlucky.
V - Video games! Have I mentioned that I'm a geek? I love my Wii and all my cheesy video games. I'm especially stoked about the new Mario brothers games due out in the next year.
W - Waiting. We are on a ttc break until September. And I'm trying not to lose my mind. I'm sorry to say that I'm not a very patient person.
X - XXL. That's me... a plus-sized gal!
Y - Young, something I'm not anymore. I'll be 35 in September.
Z - Zed... the Canadian way to say the last letter of the alphabet. You just can't get me to say zee.
Whew! That's a lot of stuff to come up with! Now I'm off to start commenting... Iron Commentor status is only 130 comments away!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
100th Post... and an Epiphany (of sorts)
And now back to our regularly scheduled TMI...
So I hesitate in sharing the epiphany I had yesterday, for two reasons. One, I'm embarassed to say that I hadn't thought of asking my OB about this previously. And two, it's about my monthly AF experience.
SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY PLUMBING... WE CAN CHAT TOMORROW!
Ok, here's the deal. All my adult life my period has had the same pattern (even for the year or so that I was on bcps). Four or five days.
CD1 - light flow, moderate to nasty cramps
CD2- medium flow, light cramps
CD3 - heavy flow, minimal cramps
CD4 - spotting or no flow for about 12 hours
CD5 - light/moderate flow, light to moderate cramps
The thing that has me wondering is that CD4 thing... where it slows and practically stops. It's normal for me, so I've never thought to mention it to my OB. There has even been once or twice where AF has actually faked me out and I was caught unawares when she made her last hurrah.
So, my question is... is this something that could be significant? It can't have anthing to do with the condition of my eggs, can it? I can't believe that I have never thought to ask about it.
Any thoughts or input?
Saturday, July 18, 2009
It's Finally Happened...
No, I haven't seen a heartbeat on an ultrasound monitor...
No, I haven't won the lottery...
(I've only experienced one of those three...)
I have decided that the time has come for us to seriously consider getting a furbaby. I have hit that wall where I need something little to care for. Something to cuddle. Something to baby... for lack of a better word.
So... it should be easy right? Decide on what particular flavour of furbaby I want, do my research, purchase the requisite supplies (collar, food dish, liscence, veterinary care), and then go out and bring said furbaby home. Like I said, easy right?
Not so much.
Our condo board currently doesn't allow dogs. And I'm allergic to cats.
*sigh* I just can't win.
But guess what? We have a plan!
(why does this sound so much like an infertility post?)
Our condo board has recently decided to self manage. Our building is small... only six units. And my Beloved has just offered to look after the accounting for the building. We are hoping (fingers seriously crossed) that we may earn enough goodwill from them the other owners that we may be able to petition the board to allow us to have a dog!
So like any good internet junkie, I'm now doing research... my ideal dog would be something small, short haired, quiet (so it doesn't drive our neighbours nuts). I'm leaning toward a pug, or something like it (a boston terrier or a french bulldog might do well too). If anyone has any input, I would welcome it.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Heartbreaking
I first heard this story last night on the news. An adoption agency in Ontario has gone bankrupt and there are now dozens of Canadian families and Ethiopian children in limbo. One story I read said that the transitional home for the Ethiopian children is curently housing 50 or more children awaiting visas and documentation, and they only have food and supplies to last about a week.
When I think about those adoptive parents... financially drained, emotionally spent, and worried for their children. My heart breaks for them.
Sending prayers and hope-filled thoughts.
Update: Our community has not escaped being affected by this. Please stop by and offer Andrea and Darryl support. And sign the petition.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Show & Tell: Kitchen Adventures... Seafood Beginnings
Seafood has always been a bit daunting to me. It's always seemed to be so easy to screw up and so expensive, that I was scared to try much of anything. A few years ago I started with salmon. I became fairly proficient at several different ways of serving it... poached, baked, grilled, fried, oven roasted with maple glaze. Then I moved on to shrimp. I have yet to buy shrimp in their shells, and almost always the precooked, frozen shrimp. Last fall I started experimenting with tilapia and halibut... and am happy to say that I think I have that pretty well sorted out.
So today it was time to try something new... scallops! Tonight I thought I would keep it simple. This recipe made two very substantial servings (my Beloved and I have hearty appetites). Also, keep in mind that I like things very lemony... so feel free to cut back on the lemony-ness if you like.
Lemon & Saffron Risotto with Scallops & Shrimp
- 1 cup arborio rice
- 1 small onion, diced
- olive oil
- 3.5 cups chicken stock
- .5 cup lemon juice
- .5 tsp saffron threads
- 1 lemon, zested
- butter
- 8-10 fresh scallops
- shrimp (I used cooked, shrimp... and I really don't know how much I used. It was about 1/3 of the pink bag from Cos.tco)
- dried dill
- grated parmesean cheese
- frozen peas
Combine lemon juice and chicken stock in a small sauce pan and bring to a boil. Once stock is boilng, reduce to a slow simmer. In a large saucepan, heat olive oil and half tbsp butter, and saute the diced onion. When the onion is translucent but not browned, add rice and cook, stirring constantly for 2-3 minutes. Start adding stock one ladle full at a time, stirring constantly. As the rice absorbs the liquid, add more stock. When you have added about half of the stock to the rice, add the saffron to the stock. When you have added all the stock to the rice, reduce heat and stir often. Risotto will be done when it's creamy in texture and al dente (like pasta). When the risotto is almost finished, start to heat up a small skillet with some olive oil and a small amount of butter. Dust the tops of the scallops with just a bit of dill and add to hot pan. When the first side is browned, turn the scallops. While the scallops are finishing off, add shrimp and frozen peas to the rice (it won't take much to heat them through). Add the juice of half the lemon to the risotto, and the other half to the scallops. Plate the risotto, garnish with parmesean and lemon zest, and top with the scallops.
I know that risotto seems a bit finicky and time consuming, but once you get the hang of it, it's so easy and so worth it.
Now, don't forget to head on over to Mel's place and check out what the rest of the class is showing.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Galactic Badness!
Most of it is work specific, so I won't go into it, but two stories are actually kind of funny now. Both have to do with me trying to eat lunch while at work.
Yesterday, after dealing with several aggravating things (having to be at work at 7am, two key staff members calling in sick, computer issues, and grumpy staff and customers, etc) I was dying to go for my lunch break. I get out of the store, and it's raining. I get to the juice/smoothie place down the block, place my order, open my wallet to pay for my pineapple-strawberry frozen concoction and panini... only to discover that my Beloved has my debit card.
And I have no cash.
Flat broke.
Starving.
And that pineappley frozen goodness is there in front of me. Taunting me.
I ask the girl behind the till to please be patient. On my dash through the rain back to the store, I call my Beloved and not so politely ask him to check his jacket pocket. Sure enough, my card is there. Grrr! He can't get it to me for at least another half hour. I run into my store, and track down my boss. I find him in the office (thankfully!) and beg to borrow some cash. (how humiliating!) He is a kind and generous soul and takes pity on me, and I then dash back to the smoothie place, pay for my lunch, and my day continues.
Fast forward to this morning at 11:30, lunchtime. This morning was relatively ok. A few computer glitches, a few cranky customers, but mostly all is well. I head out of the store and down to my lovely juice place. I order my pineappley-strawberry frozen delight and my panini (I'm nothing if not a creature of habit). This time, all goes well... payment is made and I head back to the store.
I'm almost to the staff room, having only taken a few sips from my pineapple-strawberry frozen cup of heavenly goodness. I'm looking forward to sitting down with my smoothie, my sandwich, and my book and enjoying my break. One of the staff comes up behind me, startling me. I swear she walks on cat feet... I totally didn't hear her approach and when she asked me a question she startled me so much that I actually squeezed the cup so hard that I put my thumb through the cup.
So now I'm standing just outside the staff room door, with frozen pineappley-strawberry goodness gushing out of the cup... over my hand... down my arm... all over my shirt... and my new shoes... and the carpet.
And the staff member who startled me? She's standing there laughing her ass off at me!
So I have to hustle into the staff room and dump what's left of my drink into the garbage *sniff* and attempt to make some sense out of the mess. I ended up spending half my break getting cleaned up (and cleaning up the carpet).
And then ate my panini with a co.ke from the vending machine instead. *pout*
So my Humble Readers, I ask you... Dare I tempt fate (if I actually believed in fate) tomorrow and go for a smoothie again?
What the heck... what else could possibly go wrong?
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Show & Tell: Nothing Special
A couple shots of Alberta skies...
And one of my FIL, when we were out at a family campsite....
Now don't forget to head on over to Mel's place and check out what the rest of the class is showing!
I Can't Shut It Off...
So why can't I shut off that part of my brain?
Why can't I stop wondering if that one slip we had around O time is going to lead to the pregnancy I've dreamed of?
Why can't I turn the pregnancy monitor on my FF chart off?
Why did I feel the need this morning to check with Dr. Google to see when my first trimester might end if I actually was pregnant?
Why, when my chart has shown countless false implantation dips, did I feel that little flutter of hope when I entered my temp this morning?
I don't want this summer to be wasted in that limbo between worry and hope. Where is that peace that I hoped to feel?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The Hobbit vs The World: How Sad is our World?
And yes, I agree that his death is a loss to the music world. Not that he's made any big contributions in the last few years, but I acknowledge that he was a talented man.
The thing is, how twisted is our culture? I was watching the news last night and I was absolutely disgusted. The first 20 minutes of the broadcast was about people who were celebrating the fact that they won tickets to MJ's memorial service.
Have you clued into how messed up that last sentence is? Celebrating winning tickets to a funeral???? That is absolutely disgusting!
And do you want to know what was on the news following all the coverage about MJ, his funeral, the tickets, and his estate? It was a story about fallen Canadian soldiers in Afganistan! A story about our fallen soldiers, dying while serving our world, was bumped on the news by more than a half hour about a dead musician!
This week I am ashamed of the human race.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Friday Night Lite
Now before you start freaking out about the fries-with-gravy-and-cheese... yes, it is a heart attack on a plate, but it's DARN good! No, you can't use cheese sauce or fake cheese of any sort... it has to be real cheese, preferably cheese curd. And while it is french-Canadian in origin, the best poutine I've ever had has come from Chinese restaurants. And if you don't think you'd like it, that's just fine... all the more for me!
I think that's all I've got in me tonight, folks. I'm watching football with my beloved and I swear the ball their using is covered with olive oil, both teams are fumbling that much. I would love to be a fly on the wall in the BC Li.ons' locker room at the half... their coach's head is going to explode! Go Roughri.ders!
I hope all of my friends south of the 49th parallel have a fun and safe Independance Day!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Honest Scrap Award
You see, I've been negligent in expressing my thanks to two very wonderful bloggy friends for an award. So thank you Mai at Salvagable and If Optimist for bestowing the Honest Scrap Award on my little corner of the internet.
Like every fabulous bloggy award, there are rules to follow. Post groovy icon... check! Post 10 honest things about yourself... check! Pass on the award to 7 other bloggers who I think are awesome in content and/or design (wait, how'd I get nominated for this thing?)... hmmm that could be tough because pretty much everyone has had this one, but I will do my best.
So, ten honest things about me:
- I am a big geek. I've been a Trek fan since birth, I love arcade-type computer games (none of that shoot 'em up stuff for me... except maybe Duck Hunt), fantasy novels and movies give me a thrill, and I can spend hours online just surfing. Yesterday was a bright shiny day for geeks of my variety... not only did I see the trailer for Sup.er Ma.rio Gala.xy 2 (omg... I'm so happy), but I also found out about the newest manifestation of the Starg.ate series due to premiere this fall, Starg.ate Univ.erse (I almost had kittens, how had I missed this?).
- I am not a great housekeeper. I'm not a slob, but spending time dusting and vacuuming are not tops on my list. I have been known, upon receipt of a phone call from a friend or family member saying that they will be dropping by, to sweep things under the rug and stuff dishes in the oven.
- I have a dream of owning a home with a big porch and a big red front door. I don't know enough about archetecture to be able to say what style of house it is but I tend to think of it as californian in a way... a wide shaded porch bordered by a half wall, and the roof held up with square tapered pillars. I wish I had a pic of one to share by way of explanation.
- I am a writer who doesn't finish much. I come up with a lot of storylines, but I rarely actually get through writing them from beginnng to end. I know I need to learn the butt-chair rule, and stick to it.
- I have said it before, but I am addicted to school supplies. Yellow pencils, good pens, blank notebooks, felt pens... you name it, I love it. When I was a kid, I would start playing school with my stuffies and younger siblings about a week after school got out. I know, it's a sickness.
- I have also mentioned before my love of musicals. When I was 9 years old, I fell head over heels in love with Annie. So did another girl who lived down the street from me. Between the two of us, we mobilized all the elementary school aged kids on our block and we did our own version of Annie, mostly lip-synching to the soundtrack. We didn't have consistent roles assigned. Instead, songs would determine who played whom. In some songs I was Annie, and in others I was Daddy War.bucks. When playing DW, I had to be bald, but the only way we could come up with for that to happen was for me to wear a shower cap to cover my hair... and the only shower cap we could find had blue and yellow polka dots all over it.
- I always had an inkling that I would have problems having kids. There was no specific issue... I was regular like clockwork and other than a m/c after her tubal ligation my bio-mom didn't have any problems getting and staying pregnant. It was just gut feeling.
- When I was first matched with my Beloved on eH.armony, I saw his picture and I was certain that he wouldn't be interested in someone like me. He was so handsome and looked so put together...
- My family background is complicated at best. Maybe some time I will go into details. Some highlights... at one point I had six parents, I have a former-foster-step-nephew, and my foster-dad is only 10 years older than me.
- I am fascinated by Asian cultures, but I'm terrified to travel to that part of the world. I love reading about them and watching documentaries set in the East. I think it's just that I'm afraid of getting lost in a place where things are so very different from all that I know.
Now, for the nominations.... drumroll please!
If you have had this award recently (or even if you haven't, but just aren't into it) you don't have to do the passing it on thing. I have really gotten so much from these blogs... and so many others... I love this community and I think none of us get enough gold stars in this world!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Show & Tell: O Canada
In honour of my country's 142nd birthday, I am going to give you some cool Canadian trivia. (Btw, I am very proud of the pic of our flag... it took me more than 15 shots to get one I liked.) So...
- The name Canada comes from a Huron-Iroquois word (Kanata) which means settlement or village.
- Tim Hortons (the quintessential Canadian fast food chain... coffee and doughnuts) out sells the golden arches every year, earning us the nickname of the Timbit Nation
- Canadians have invented a lot of stuff including... basketball, five pin bowling, pacemakers, ginger ale, Trivial Pursuit, Superman, zippers, velcro, standard time, the electron microscope, the Canadarm, snowblowers, and IMAX
- Canada has the second largest land mass in the world, but the smallest population density
- In the entertainment world, Canadians are known for their comedy... Jim Carrey, John Candy, Mike Myers, Michael J. Fox, Dan Akroyd, Dave Foley, Tom Green, Phil Hartman, Eugene Levy, Rick Mercer, Howie Mandel, Andrea Martin, Leslie Nielson, Colin Mochrie, Rick Moranis, Martin Short, and my personal favourite, Shaun Majumder.
- In Canadian history, we have an equivalent to Paul Revere... her name was Laura Secord, and she warned the British of an impending attack by Americans during the War of 1812, and the Brits were able to win the battle (and ultimately the war). Also, during the War of 1812, Canadians managed to burn down the west wing of the White House (not one of our best moments).
- The Hudson's Bay company once owned more than 10% of the surface of the earth.
- The following statement is generally considered the most confusing thing a Canadian can say to anyone in the english-speaking world... "Hey, hand me a serviette because I just spilled my poutine on the chesterfield, and I don't want to use my toque to clean it up." (10 hobbit points to any of my American friends who can translate ;) )
I hope all you hosers out there have a groovy Dominion Day... enjoy your bbqs, beer, and fireworks! I know I will, eh...
And don't forget to head over to Mel's to check out what the rest of the class is showing this week!