Good evening Humble Readers...
Just a quick post to vent...
We knew we were going to be replacing our furnace this summer. We put it off as long as we could, but it has to be installed, next week. $2500
Then the oven died. Don't get me wrong, I love my new stove, but we certainly could have done without that expense right now. $775 (and I got a good deal... I promise I'll tell you about it tomorrow)
Today, the kitchen faucet started leaking ... again. This time it's serious. It looks like we'll be spending $300 on a new faucet and installation (because we are both inept at anything plumbing related).
Have I mentioned that I'm just a bit stressed?
Being a grown up sucks!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Week 27: Moving Forward
Good Morning Humble Readers...
Today we are also getting a new stove. I'll tell you more about it later, but I'm super excited!
How far along? 27w0d
Maternity clothes? I think I'm going to have to retire one of my pre-pregnancy pairs of pants. The bella bands aren't doing the trick for holding them up any more. But, I think that I'm going to be done with the bella bands soon anyway. They tend to be uncomfortable by the end of a shift at work.
Body Oddities? My right hip is particularly sore these days. I'm not sure if I've done something, or if the Halfling is putting pressure on things. Probably a bit of both. Oddly enough, since I've been eating to lower my blood sugar, I haven't had a single IBS flare. Hmmm... something to ponder.
Sleep? Still hit and miss. I tend to be up early now, like 5 or 5:30. It's unusual for me to be able to sleep later. Of course, by 9am, I'm ready for a nap.
Best moment this week? When the crib finally arrived.
Worst moment? Thursday. My first encounter with the insulin was definitely a shock, and was physically taxing and emotionally devastating.
Movement? Good heavens... all the time! It still surprises me every time, tho. It's so surreal.
Food cravings? No real cravings. More like obsessions. I have always like chocolate, but this is over the top... I think about it all the time.
Rings? Off, but mostly because I sent them to be prettified and soldered.
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy. Let me know what you think... there's a poll on the right.
Intense Dreams? They are the one thing, even over the GD, that I wish would go away. I'm still dreaming of death, loss, and blood. It's so awful. Last night, I had a nightmare inside a nightmare. I actully dreamed that I was dreaming that I lost the Halfling, and in the dream I woke up, told myself that it wasn't real, and that the baby would move soon. Only he/she didn't. *shudder* It went downhill from there.
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day... bp holding steady at 130-ish over 70-ish), Gestational Diabetes (the thorn in my side), on prescription Zan.tac for heartburn.
What I miss? Being able to walk without waddling.
What I look forward to? putting the crib together.
Emotional State? Leveling out now, I think. At least for the moment.
Today is going to be a good day! I have decreed it to be so. Good things are going to happen today. First , and most important, it's my Beloved's birthday! I am so thankful for his presence in my life. He makes me a better person, he makes me laugh, and he loves me... how amazing is that? Happy Birthday, my Love!
How far along? 27w0d
Maternity clothes? I think I'm going to have to retire one of my pre-pregnancy pairs of pants. The bella bands aren't doing the trick for holding them up any more. But, I think that I'm going to be done with the bella bands soon anyway. They tend to be uncomfortable by the end of a shift at work.
Body Oddities? My right hip is particularly sore these days. I'm not sure if I've done something, or if the Halfling is putting pressure on things. Probably a bit of both. Oddly enough, since I've been eating to lower my blood sugar, I haven't had a single IBS flare. Hmmm... something to ponder.
Sleep? Still hit and miss. I tend to be up early now, like 5 or 5:30. It's unusual for me to be able to sleep later. Of course, by 9am, I'm ready for a nap.
Best moment this week? When the crib finally arrived.
Worst moment? Thursday. My first encounter with the insulin was definitely a shock, and was physically taxing and emotionally devastating.
Movement? Good heavens... all the time! It still surprises me every time, tho. It's so surreal.
Food cravings? No real cravings. More like obsessions. I have always like chocolate, but this is over the top... I think about it all the time.
Rings? Off, but mostly because I sent them to be prettified and soldered.
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy. Let me know what you think... there's a poll on the right.
Intense Dreams? They are the one thing, even over the GD, that I wish would go away. I'm still dreaming of death, loss, and blood. It's so awful. Last night, I had a nightmare inside a nightmare. I actully dreamed that I was dreaming that I lost the Halfling, and in the dream I woke up, told myself that it wasn't real, and that the baby would move soon. Only he/she didn't. *shudder* It went downhill from there.
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day... bp holding steady at 130-ish over 70-ish), Gestational Diabetes (the thorn in my side), on prescription Zan.tac for heartburn.
What I miss? Being able to walk without waddling.
What I look forward to? putting the crib together.
Emotional State? Leveling out now, I think. At least for the moment.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Randomness & August Q & A: Part the Second
Good Morning Humble Readers...
I hope you are all having a good weekend. I'm off today and tomorrow so we have much on our to-do list. Stove shopping, grocery shopping, dog-sitting (Sunny is with us again for a couple of days), and nursery stuff... like I said, much to do.
*****
So, earlier in the week I said I was going to answer questions on Friday... well, we all saw where my week ended up, so I'm a couple of days late.
Wiseguy asked a couple of great questions: 1. What is that one dish you wish you could make better than you are already making? There are lots of things that I don't make well... cream sauces (always end up lumpy), baking (mostly too exact for me), seafood (I'm getting better, but still overcook shellfish often). I'm intimidated by making asian-style food (I really want to learn to make Thai food), but I really want to improve.
2. What is your least favourite book (till date)? Oh that's hard. There aren't many that I don't like. I do remember hating "Animal Farm" when I was in middle school. Most recently, I would have to say "The Passage" by Cronin... so many people were raving about it, so I tried to read it. I got about 100 pages in and I just got fed up. It could have been the vampire thing (I'm vampired out!), but I think it was just too slow getting started for me.
JRS asked: are there any helpful books/website you are reading to help you care for the baby when he/she comes? Honestly, I haven't started reading about what to do when the Halfling actually arrives. I picked up the Dr. Sears baby book, and I'm planning on starting to read it once I'm on mat leave. I have done some online reading about breastfeeding, and specifically about the challenges for plus-sized women and bf-ing. I really like http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/. Other than that, I've been focussing on reading about labour and delivery.
*****
Something big in this hobbit's world... I discovered yesterday that Jean Auel, author of the Earth's Children series is FINALLY going to be publishing the sixth and final book in the series. I have to wait until the end of March, but hey, I've waited for 8 years already... what's a few more months? I'm glad I started rereading the series earlier this year.
*****
I have added a poll to my side bar... :)
*****
A few shout outs to some bloggy friends... Ms. Dreamer sent me this link when I was feeling down a couple of days ago . I love love LOVE these posters, and have told my Beloved that he can get me the "Shire" one for my birthday next month.
And Minta over at Life, Family, and the Pursuit of Sanity has welcomed Little G into the world! The last couple of weeks have been rough for her, being on modified bedrest due to PIH, but now all is well!
I hope you are all having a good weekend. I'm off today and tomorrow so we have much on our to-do list. Stove shopping, grocery shopping, dog-sitting (Sunny is with us again for a couple of days), and nursery stuff... like I said, much to do.
*****
So, earlier in the week I said I was going to answer questions on Friday... well, we all saw where my week ended up, so I'm a couple of days late.
Wiseguy asked a couple of great questions: 1. What is that one dish you wish you could make better than you are already making? There are lots of things that I don't make well... cream sauces (always end up lumpy), baking (mostly too exact for me), seafood (I'm getting better, but still overcook shellfish often). I'm intimidated by making asian-style food (I really want to learn to make Thai food), but I really want to improve.
2. What is your least favourite book (till date)? Oh that's hard. There aren't many that I don't like. I do remember hating "Animal Farm" when I was in middle school. Most recently, I would have to say "The Passage" by Cronin... so many people were raving about it, so I tried to read it. I got about 100 pages in and I just got fed up. It could have been the vampire thing (I'm vampired out!), but I think it was just too slow getting started for me.
JRS asked: are there any helpful books/website you are reading to help you care for the baby when he/she comes? Honestly, I haven't started reading about what to do when the Halfling actually arrives. I picked up the Dr. Sears baby book, and I'm planning on starting to read it once I'm on mat leave. I have done some online reading about breastfeeding, and specifically about the challenges for plus-sized women and bf-ing. I really like http://www.breastfeedingbasics.com/. Other than that, I've been focussing on reading about labour and delivery.
*****
Something big in this hobbit's world... I discovered yesterday that Jean Auel, author of the Earth's Children series is FINALLY going to be publishing the sixth and final book in the series. I have to wait until the end of March, but hey, I've waited for 8 years already... what's a few more months? I'm glad I started rereading the series earlier this year.
*****
I have added a poll to my side bar... :)
*****
A few shout outs to some bloggy friends... Ms. Dreamer sent me this link when I was feeling down a couple of days ago . I love love LOVE these posters, and have told my Beloved that he can get me the "Shire" one for my birthday next month.
And Minta over at Life, Family, and the Pursuit of Sanity has welcomed Little G into the world! The last couple of weeks have been rough for her, being on modified bedrest due to PIH, but now all is well!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Not Quite There Yet (But Getting Better)
Good Morning Humble Readers...
Things this morning are looking much sunnier than they did a couple of days ago.
They (the nurses at the DEC) have changed my insulin levels, and have given me some direction for what to do to keep things going the way they should. My new units are: 7 with breakfast, 5 with lunch and dinner, and 7 at bedtime. The bedtime dose is to keep on increasing each night until my fasting blood sugar is where it's supposed to be. They may add another dose of the longer acting insulin in the morning, but that will be decided next week.
My body is also handling the insulin better. I didn't feel like as much of an emotional basket case yesterday... and my hunger is not quite as intense. (It does come in waves tho, which feels strange.) The Halfling isn't quite sure what to make of the insulin... he/she kind of flips out shortly after each shot.
The challenge now, is to find foods that I like to eat and cook that fit into what I'm allowed to have. I'm getting sick of things like peanut butter and salads (not together of course). I miss pasta and potatoes. And juice!
Thank you so much for bearing with me through this. I really appreciate it.
*****
In other sunny news, the crib arrived yesterday as well. Now the giant box is in our living room taking up space. But that's ok... it's here!
And we are going stove shopping tomorrow. I found one online that I think is a good fit for us, plus it's a bit of a step up from what we've had (self-cleaning oven!), without being ridiculously expensive.
Things this morning are looking much sunnier than they did a couple of days ago.
They (the nurses at the DEC) have changed my insulin levels, and have given me some direction for what to do to keep things going the way they should. My new units are: 7 with breakfast, 5 with lunch and dinner, and 7 at bedtime. The bedtime dose is to keep on increasing each night until my fasting blood sugar is where it's supposed to be. They may add another dose of the longer acting insulin in the morning, but that will be decided next week.
My body is also handling the insulin better. I didn't feel like as much of an emotional basket case yesterday... and my hunger is not quite as intense. (It does come in waves tho, which feels strange.) The Halfling isn't quite sure what to make of the insulin... he/she kind of flips out shortly after each shot.
The challenge now, is to find foods that I like to eat and cook that fit into what I'm allowed to have. I'm getting sick of things like peanut butter and salads (not together of course). I miss pasta and potatoes. And juice!
Thank you so much for bearing with me through this. I really appreciate it.
*****
In other sunny news, the crib arrived yesterday as well. Now the giant box is in our living room taking up space. But that's ok... it's here!
And we are going stove shopping tomorrow. I found one online that I think is a good fit for us, plus it's a bit of a step up from what we've had (self-cleaning oven!), without being ridiculously expensive.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Stormy Weather
Good evening Humble Readers...
There really is a storm on it's way in tonight. The weather network is saying that this is the end of summer weather for us... at least for now.
But there's also a storm going on inside me. I don't want to keep whining about this, but today has brought new GD challenges, and I need to vent. Please feel free to slap me out of my pouty pity party.
I went to the Diabetes Education clinic today to learn about how to administer the insulin. The time I spent with the nurse was good, and I left feeling confident of my abilities to manage the needles and all.
Then came lunch time. I was running late to get to work after the appointment at the DEC, so I stopped at a chinese restaurant and got some chop suey for lunch. I waited to eat until I got to the store so that I could do my first shot.
The shot itself went well. I forgot to count to ten before taking the needle out, but other than that, it didn't hurt and I think I did okay.
But then, less than two hours later, I was feeling awful. Weepy, tired, hungry, shakey, and very very irritable. I checked my blood sugar and it was 6.7... right where it should be. But it felt like I really needed to eat a full meal. I had a bit of orange juice and some nuts, and felt better for a while. But as soon as I started getting hungry again, I turned into the she-biotch from hell.
I have a follow-up with the nurse at the DEC tomorrow (over the phone), so I'm hoping she can make some recommendations to help. I just feel like a physical and emotional wreck.
Who knows, maybe it's just pregnancy hormones on top of the stress of dealing with all these changes. Maybe I'm just as psycho-biotch from hell, and never noticed.
*****
In other 'stormy' news... the crib never arrived yesterday. I don't know what's going on. I scheduled the delivery with UPS. Grrr...
Oh, and remember how our oven died a couple of weeks ago? Well, the repair guy came, and found that it was some sort of sensor in the back, kind of like a fuse. He tweaked it, and it's working now, but there is no indication of when it could crap out again. With my luck, it will be in the middle of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. The super great news is that the part we need is something that no one has in stock, and no one manufactures any more.
Fantastic day, huh?
There really is a storm on it's way in tonight. The weather network is saying that this is the end of summer weather for us... at least for now.
But there's also a storm going on inside me. I don't want to keep whining about this, but today has brought new GD challenges, and I need to vent. Please feel free to slap me out of my pouty pity party.
I went to the Diabetes Education clinic today to learn about how to administer the insulin. The time I spent with the nurse was good, and I left feeling confident of my abilities to manage the needles and all.
Then came lunch time. I was running late to get to work after the appointment at the DEC, so I stopped at a chinese restaurant and got some chop suey for lunch. I waited to eat until I got to the store so that I could do my first shot.
The shot itself went well. I forgot to count to ten before taking the needle out, but other than that, it didn't hurt and I think I did okay.
But then, less than two hours later, I was feeling awful. Weepy, tired, hungry, shakey, and very very irritable. I checked my blood sugar and it was 6.7... right where it should be. But it felt like I really needed to eat a full meal. I had a bit of orange juice and some nuts, and felt better for a while. But as soon as I started getting hungry again, I turned into the she-biotch from hell.
I have a follow-up with the nurse at the DEC tomorrow (over the phone), so I'm hoping she can make some recommendations to help. I just feel like a physical and emotional wreck.
Who knows, maybe it's just pregnancy hormones on top of the stress of dealing with all these changes. Maybe I'm just as psycho-biotch from hell, and never noticed.
*****
In other 'stormy' news... the crib never arrived yesterday. I don't know what's going on. I scheduled the delivery with UPS. Grrr...
Oh, and remember how our oven died a couple of weeks ago? Well, the repair guy came, and found that it was some sort of sensor in the back, kind of like a fuse. He tweaked it, and it's working now, but there is no indication of when it could crap out again. With my luck, it will be in the middle of cooking Thanksgiving dinner. The super great news is that the part we need is something that no one has in stock, and no one manufactures any more.
Fantastic day, huh?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Hobbit-ish Potpurri: The Inevitable
Good Morning Humble Readers...
I hope all is well, where ever you are on this blue marble of ours. Things here on the flatland are mostly mellow today. The sun has decided to make a reappearance, and we are actually supposed to be seeing some summer-like weather again for a few days. For the last week or so it has really felt like fall is just around the corner. Where did the summer go?
*****
I have had a few people asking me if I am going to post a belly shot anytime soon... and while I am sorry to disappoint, the answer is no. Honestly, because of my pre-pregnancy weight, I don't really look all that pregnant. Yes, I have to wear maternity clothes because my regular stuff doesn't fit anymore, but if you didn't know I was pregnant, you really couldn't tell... at least not yet. Maybe you will get to see me and my belly in a month's time.
*****
You know you have short legs when... you order a pair of maternity jeans from the (plus size) petites section of the website, and when you get them they are still almost an inch too long. *sigh* It's not like I'm crazy short like my aunts (I'm a very tall woman for my bio-dad's side of the family), I'm 5'4''. But apparently I have little stumps for legs. Too bad I never learned how to sew!
*****
So, I went and saw Dr. U this morning. I got a quick peak at the Halfling... still transverse, which is okay for now, lying head to the left and bum to the right. It explains all the movement I am getting over my right hip... those little feet are active. Heartbeat was 153. According to Dr. U's scale I have lost 2kg (4.4lbs) in the last two weeks, thanks to the diabetic diet I'm on.
*****
Sooooo... Dr. U took a look at my log book for my blood sugar levels and he immediately decided it was time for insulin. He commended me for trying so hard with my diet, but that it just wasn't working, and he doesn't want to take another week to see if we can get the numbers any lower. So, insulin it is. I have an appointment with the nurse at the diabetes clinic tomorrow morning to learn how to administer the insulin, and how to use all the stuff I got today at the pharmacy. The details, for those of you that get what all this means, are: Humalog - 6 units at breakfast, 4 units at lunch, 4 units at dinner & HumulinN - 6 units at bedtime. They gave me the pen thing, rather than a traditional syringe, which is supposed to be easier. I know many of you are already well-versed at giving yourselves shots with all the IF stuff, but I never did that, so I'm a bit nervous. Several years ago, I had to give my mom chemo shots, so I don't imagine it will be much different... only this time I'll be sticking the needle in me.
*****
The crib we ordered is supposed to arrive today! I can't believe we are going to have a crib... in our house! Of course, the nursery still isn't anywhere near ready, so the box will have to sit in the hall for a while, but it's still going to be in our house! Yay!
*****
We had a little house guest for most of the last week... Sunny the Pug came to stay for a few days whilst his mom & dad were out of town. We won't be able to have him many more times before baby stuff takes over the house (Sunny always comes with a kennel, a bed, and a huge pen that we can keep him in during the day so that he stays off the furniture while we're at work). It was fun to have him again, and now that he's gone, I keep looking for him. He has become very attached to my Beloved and gets upset when he sees him put his coat and shoes on.
*****
Does anyone have any good ideas for roasting acorn squash that don't involve brown sugar? I have one that I need to use up, but of course I'm trying to not use sugar if I can help it. Also, I'm trying to incorporate more beans into my diet for the protein, but I have never cooked much with them. Any ideas?
I hope all is well, where ever you are on this blue marble of ours. Things here on the flatland are mostly mellow today. The sun has decided to make a reappearance, and we are actually supposed to be seeing some summer-like weather again for a few days. For the last week or so it has really felt like fall is just around the corner. Where did the summer go?
*****
I have had a few people asking me if I am going to post a belly shot anytime soon... and while I am sorry to disappoint, the answer is no. Honestly, because of my pre-pregnancy weight, I don't really look all that pregnant. Yes, I have to wear maternity clothes because my regular stuff doesn't fit anymore, but if you didn't know I was pregnant, you really couldn't tell... at least not yet. Maybe you will get to see me and my belly in a month's time.
*****
You know you have short legs when... you order a pair of maternity jeans from the (plus size) petites section of the website, and when you get them they are still almost an inch too long. *sigh* It's not like I'm crazy short like my aunts (I'm a very tall woman for my bio-dad's side of the family), I'm 5'4''. But apparently I have little stumps for legs. Too bad I never learned how to sew!
*****
So, I went and saw Dr. U this morning. I got a quick peak at the Halfling... still transverse, which is okay for now, lying head to the left and bum to the right. It explains all the movement I am getting over my right hip... those little feet are active. Heartbeat was 153. According to Dr. U's scale I have lost 2kg (4.4lbs) in the last two weeks, thanks to the diabetic diet I'm on.
*****
Sooooo... Dr. U took a look at my log book for my blood sugar levels and he immediately decided it was time for insulin. He commended me for trying so hard with my diet, but that it just wasn't working, and he doesn't want to take another week to see if we can get the numbers any lower. So, insulin it is. I have an appointment with the nurse at the diabetes clinic tomorrow morning to learn how to administer the insulin, and how to use all the stuff I got today at the pharmacy. The details, for those of you that get what all this means, are: Humalog - 6 units at breakfast, 4 units at lunch, 4 units at dinner & HumulinN - 6 units at bedtime. They gave me the pen thing, rather than a traditional syringe, which is supposed to be easier. I know many of you are already well-versed at giving yourselves shots with all the IF stuff, but I never did that, so I'm a bit nervous. Several years ago, I had to give my mom chemo shots, so I don't imagine it will be much different... only this time I'll be sticking the needle in me.
*****
The crib we ordered is supposed to arrive today! I can't believe we are going to have a crib... in our house! Of course, the nursery still isn't anywhere near ready, so the box will have to sit in the hall for a while, but it's still going to be in our house! Yay!
*****
We had a little house guest for most of the last week... Sunny the Pug came to stay for a few days whilst his mom & dad were out of town. We won't be able to have him many more times before baby stuff takes over the house (Sunny always comes with a kennel, a bed, and a huge pen that we can keep him in during the day so that he stays off the furniture while we're at work). It was fun to have him again, and now that he's gone, I keep looking for him. He has become very attached to my Beloved and gets upset when he sees him put his coat and shoes on.
*****
Does anyone have any good ideas for roasting acorn squash that don't involve brown sugar? I have one that I need to use up, but of course I'm trying to not use sugar if I can help it. Also, I'm trying to incorporate more beans into my diet for the protein, but I have never cooked much with them. Any ideas?
Monday, August 23, 2010
Week 26: The Incredible Shrinking Belly Button
Good evening Humble Readers...
I hope that you're all doing well. Sadly, your friendly neighbourhood hobbit is on the injured list. I don't know what or how I did it, but I have seriously buggered my neck. My chiropractor practically flipped out this morning when he saw me. I believe his exact words were 'what the hell did you do to yourself?!'. Honestly, I was just sitting on the couch this morning, putting on my socks, and when I stood up I had amazing pain shooting up my neck and across my shoulders. It's a bit better now (not by much), but a crappy day at work didn't help any either.
How far along? 26w0d
Maternity clothes? Oh heck ya... and I lurve my new maternity jeans! So comfy!
Body Oddities? My belly button is slowly disappearing, which is pretty astounding. You all know that I am a plus sized lady, and with all the belly fat that I'm hauling around, I have always had a really deep belly button. It's now less than half what it used to be. I never actually expected this.
Sleep? Meh... not great, not terrible. I'm getting by. I'm still feeling pretty tired most days, but who knows what's contributing to that... the baby? ... the diabetes? ... lack of sleep?
Best moment this week? When my Beloved felt the Halfling move for the first time. We were lying in bed, and he had just started to doze off. The Halfling started rolling around, and I woke my Beloved up and grabbed his hand. The look on his face was priceless!
Worst moment? Anytime I have to test my blood sugar. Or rather, seeing those numbers come up on the meter's screen.
Movement? I think the Halfling is doing the hokey pokey in there.
Food cravings? Anything sweet. I actually walked really slowly down the baking aisle in my grocery store so I could smell the sugary goodness.
Rings? Off more than they are on.
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy
Intense Dreams? Oh, humble readers... I had a dream that our store was infested with birds! Thousands of little blue and cream coloured birds, and two seagulls. Now, you may or may not recall that I am mortally afraid of birds, so you can imagine how well this dream went over. *shudder*
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day... bp holding steady at 130-ish over 70-ish), Gestational Diabetes (the thorn in my side), on prescription Zan.tac for heartburn.
What I miss? Chocolate, ice cream, sushi
What I look forward to? Bookng my prenatal classes, mat leave, my week off in September
Emotional State? This week has been challenging. I've spent a lot of time beating myself up about the GD, but I'm starting to accept that this is my life now, and I will deal with it.
I hope that you're all doing well. Sadly, your friendly neighbourhood hobbit is on the injured list. I don't know what or how I did it, but I have seriously buggered my neck. My chiropractor practically flipped out this morning when he saw me. I believe his exact words were 'what the hell did you do to yourself?!'. Honestly, I was just sitting on the couch this morning, putting on my socks, and when I stood up I had amazing pain shooting up my neck and across my shoulders. It's a bit better now (not by much), but a crappy day at work didn't help any either.
How far along? 26w0d
Maternity clothes? Oh heck ya... and I lurve my new maternity jeans! So comfy!
Body Oddities? My belly button is slowly disappearing, which is pretty astounding. You all know that I am a plus sized lady, and with all the belly fat that I'm hauling around, I have always had a really deep belly button. It's now less than half what it used to be. I never actually expected this.
Sleep? Meh... not great, not terrible. I'm getting by. I'm still feeling pretty tired most days, but who knows what's contributing to that... the baby? ... the diabetes? ... lack of sleep?
Best moment this week? When my Beloved felt the Halfling move for the first time. We were lying in bed, and he had just started to doze off. The Halfling started rolling around, and I woke my Beloved up and grabbed his hand. The look on his face was priceless!
Worst moment? Anytime I have to test my blood sugar. Or rather, seeing those numbers come up on the meter's screen.
Movement? I think the Halfling is doing the hokey pokey in there.
Food cravings? Anything sweet. I actually walked really slowly down the baking aisle in my grocery store so I could smell the sugary goodness.
Rings? Off more than they are on.
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy
Intense Dreams? Oh, humble readers... I had a dream that our store was infested with birds! Thousands of little blue and cream coloured birds, and two seagulls. Now, you may or may not recall that I am mortally afraid of birds, so you can imagine how well this dream went over. *shudder*
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day... bp holding steady at 130-ish over 70-ish), Gestational Diabetes (the thorn in my side), on prescription Zan.tac for heartburn.
What I miss? Chocolate, ice cream, sushi
What I look forward to? Bookng my prenatal classes, mat leave, my week off in September
Emotional State? This week has been challenging. I've spent a lot of time beating myself up about the GD, but I'm starting to accept that this is my life now, and I will deal with it.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
August Q & A... Part The First
Good Evening Humble Readers...
(I started this post earlier this evening... please forgive the late posting)
Dinner is slowly coming together (pork souvlaki is marinating, greek potatoes are roasting, and salad will come together in a little while) and I was trying to think of something to post about. My poor addled brain has been pretty darn tired the last couple of days, and my creativity is lacking.
So, I thought I would go back and answer few questions that have come up in the last few weeks.
Callista asked: What are you daydreaming about these days? Maternity leave... afternoons to read, time to prepare for this little Halfling's arrival, not having to work. I've also been daydreaming a bit about Christmas. Pondering what it's going to be like having a little one to play Santa for.
Minta asked: who was/is your favorite New Kid?!?!? Oh Minta... you ask a good question! When I was in high school it was all about Danny (I loved those muscles!), but now as a grown woman, I have to say that Donnie could eat crackers in my bed any time!
Kakunaa asked: Is there going to be a theme (for the nursery)? Yes! Because we are not finding out the gender of the baby, it has to be something neutral, but I didn't want the usual shades of beige and brown. I also didn't want to have the room decorated in anything licsensed (like Disney). So I chose to go with an elephant theme. I found some sweet elephant prints on Etsy, and I have some cute elephant stuffies. The room will be a soft grey (a colour called 'timber wolf'), with white furniture, and apple green accents.
Kakunaa also asked: have you picked out names? Again, yes! But I'm not telling! (tee-hee) I can, however, tell you our criteria for names. For me, they had to be gender specific (I dislike ambiguous names having grown up with one myself), they had to be old-fashioned, and the first name had to start with a vowel. I also didn't want them to be overly popular. My Beloved's one criteria was that we incorporate some family names from his side.
If any of you have questions for me, please fire away! I'll post my answers on Friday. I'll answer (just about) anything!
(I started this post earlier this evening... please forgive the late posting)
Dinner is slowly coming together (pork souvlaki is marinating, greek potatoes are roasting, and salad will come together in a little while) and I was trying to think of something to post about. My poor addled brain has been pretty darn tired the last couple of days, and my creativity is lacking.
So, I thought I would go back and answer few questions that have come up in the last few weeks.
Callista asked: What are you daydreaming about these days? Maternity leave... afternoons to read, time to prepare for this little Halfling's arrival, not having to work. I've also been daydreaming a bit about Christmas. Pondering what it's going to be like having a little one to play Santa for.
Minta asked: who was/is your favorite New Kid?!?!? Oh Minta... you ask a good question! When I was in high school it was all about Danny (I loved those muscles!), but now as a grown woman, I have to say that Donnie could eat crackers in my bed any time!
Kakunaa asked: Is there going to be a theme (for the nursery)? Yes! Because we are not finding out the gender of the baby, it has to be something neutral, but I didn't want the usual shades of beige and brown. I also didn't want to have the room decorated in anything licsensed (like Disney). So I chose to go with an elephant theme. I found some sweet elephant prints on Etsy, and I have some cute elephant stuffies. The room will be a soft grey (a colour called 'timber wolf'), with white furniture, and apple green accents.
Kakunaa also asked: have you picked out names? Again, yes! But I'm not telling! (tee-hee) I can, however, tell you our criteria for names. For me, they had to be gender specific (I dislike ambiguous names having grown up with one myself), they had to be old-fashioned, and the first name had to start with a vowel. I also didn't want them to be overly popular. My Beloved's one criteria was that we incorporate some family names from his side.
If any of you have questions for me, please fire away! I'll post my answers on Friday. I'll answer (just about) anything!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
ICLW Randomness (Stolen From Minta)
Good morning Humble Readers...
I love memes! And I love ICLW! So, of course I felt the need to do one for my first ICLW post of the month. I stole this one from Minta a few weeks ago, and have been just waiting for the right time to use it. Oddly enough, this one is missing a question for #4, so I made up my own. :)
1) If you could live in any country but the Canada, where would you live? Somewhere in the UK, or maybe New Zealand. Someplace green and fresh.
2) Why did you title your blog “Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings”? I remember the first time I read "The Hobbit" many years ago... I fell in love with the inhabitants of the Shire, and recognized a lot of myself in them. I feel as though I could be related to them, two or three times removed. I'm short, round, love good food, good books, and good friends. I like things to be mellow, orderly, and calm, but have a slight craving for the occassional adventure. Even though I don't have hairy feet, I do prefer to go shoeless and sockless much of the time. About the only hobbit-ish trait that I don't fully exhibit is the ability to grow things... I love the idea of gardening and can appreciate a beautifully tended garden, but I can't make it happen myself. Heaven knows, I've tried. When it came time to name my blog, I wanted it to be a place where I could talk about the things that are important to me (as simple or as complex as they may be), and I immediately thought of my hobbit 'cousins'.
3) How many “in real life” people know about your blog? Locally, not many. There are a few co-workers who know about my blog, but as far as I know only one reads (Hi, S!). Maybe I will let others know about it once I go on mat leave. No one in my family, other than my Beloved know about it. A few of my friends from far away know about and read my blog. It's been a good way to reconnect with some of them.
4) Why did you decide to start blogging? I set up this blog almost two years ago, during my first pregnancy. I had hoped to record the journey we were on building our family. A few days after I set it up, and before my first post, we lost Emily Hope. I wrote a couple of posts while I was in the midst of that grief, and then when we decided to start trying again. Sadly, this little hobbit-hole languished for a few months with no action. I didn't come back to it again until, after we lost our second little one, Olivia Noelle. A good friend from one of the message boards I frequented encouraged me to check out the ALI (adoption, loss, infertility) community and there's been no looking back since. I have found incredible support, friendship, and knowledge in this community, and I know I couldn't be here now without it.
5) What kind of clothes do you wear? Casual or Business Casual for work. I love my jeans and tshirts.
6) What are you having for dinner tonight? Beloved is having perogies and sausage. I'll be at work, so I'll get a salad from Qui.znos.
7) Where do you “blog”? Sitting on my comfy red couch, in my school bus yellow living room.
8) Do you like to cook? Ummm yeah! That love has been put to the test lately, with the GD diagnosis. We'll see what comes in the next few weeks.
9) What’s your beverage of choice at night? I confess that I am an iced-tea junkie. But again, since I have been pregnant I have tried to stay away from it as much as possible. Water is now pretty much all I drink.
10) What would you most like to know about your fellow bloggers who read this? I want to know why they started blogging. What was it that made this form of communicating and interacting with others interesting to you?
******
Thank you all so much for your supportive comments on my last post. This whole situation is still very discouraging, but I am tryng to just accept it for what it is and roll with it. I need to stop googling blood sugar levels, and the possible results of GD. I have an appointment with Dr. U on Wednesday, and I'm hoping that he can provide me with some context and maybe some hope. If insulin is in my future, then I guess I will deal with that. I just can't seem to shake the worry and fear.
I love memes! And I love ICLW! So, of course I felt the need to do one for my first ICLW post of the month. I stole this one from Minta a few weeks ago, and have been just waiting for the right time to use it. Oddly enough, this one is missing a question for #4, so I made up my own. :)
1) If you could live in any country but the Canada, where would you live? Somewhere in the UK, or maybe New Zealand. Someplace green and fresh.
2) Why did you title your blog “Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings”? I remember the first time I read "The Hobbit" many years ago... I fell in love with the inhabitants of the Shire, and recognized a lot of myself in them. I feel as though I could be related to them, two or three times removed. I'm short, round, love good food, good books, and good friends. I like things to be mellow, orderly, and calm, but have a slight craving for the occassional adventure. Even though I don't have hairy feet, I do prefer to go shoeless and sockless much of the time. About the only hobbit-ish trait that I don't fully exhibit is the ability to grow things... I love the idea of gardening and can appreciate a beautifully tended garden, but I can't make it happen myself. Heaven knows, I've tried. When it came time to name my blog, I wanted it to be a place where I could talk about the things that are important to me (as simple or as complex as they may be), and I immediately thought of my hobbit 'cousins'.
3) How many “in real life” people know about your blog? Locally, not many. There are a few co-workers who know about my blog, but as far as I know only one reads (Hi, S!). Maybe I will let others know about it once I go on mat leave. No one in my family, other than my Beloved know about it. A few of my friends from far away know about and read my blog. It's been a good way to reconnect with some of them.
4) Why did you decide to start blogging? I set up this blog almost two years ago, during my first pregnancy. I had hoped to record the journey we were on building our family. A few days after I set it up, and before my first post, we lost Emily Hope. I wrote a couple of posts while I was in the midst of that grief, and then when we decided to start trying again. Sadly, this little hobbit-hole languished for a few months with no action. I didn't come back to it again until, after we lost our second little one, Olivia Noelle. A good friend from one of the message boards I frequented encouraged me to check out the ALI (adoption, loss, infertility) community and there's been no looking back since. I have found incredible support, friendship, and knowledge in this community, and I know I couldn't be here now without it.
5) What kind of clothes do you wear? Casual or Business Casual for work. I love my jeans and tshirts.
6) What are you having for dinner tonight? Beloved is having perogies and sausage. I'll be at work, so I'll get a salad from Qui.znos.
7) Where do you “blog”? Sitting on my comfy red couch, in my school bus yellow living room.
8) Do you like to cook? Ummm yeah! That love has been put to the test lately, with the GD diagnosis. We'll see what comes in the next few weeks.
9) What’s your beverage of choice at night? I confess that I am an iced-tea junkie. But again, since I have been pregnant I have tried to stay away from it as much as possible. Water is now pretty much all I drink.
10) What would you most like to know about your fellow bloggers who read this? I want to know why they started blogging. What was it that made this form of communicating and interacting with others interesting to you?
******
Thank you all so much for your supportive comments on my last post. This whole situation is still very discouraging, but I am tryng to just accept it for what it is and roll with it. I need to stop googling blood sugar levels, and the possible results of GD. I have an appointment with Dr. U on Wednesday, and I'm hoping that he can provide me with some context and maybe some hope. If insulin is in my future, then I guess I will deal with that. I just can't seem to shake the worry and fear.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Warning: Whining Ahead
Howdy Humble Readers...
I'm sorry folks, but I'm feeling really discouraged today, and I need to vent a little.
I went to the Gestational Diabetes clinic today to learn how to check my blood sugar, and about the dietary element of controlling it. It was a lot of great information, and I was feeling a bit proud of myself, because looking at the nutrition stuff I was actually getting a lot of it right. Granted I need to increase my protien intake (particularly at breakfast), but everything else was looking really really good.
So, what was my blood sugar level when I tested at the clinic (two hours after breakfast)? 9.9. What was it after lunch? 9.2. And after dinner? 10! It should be less than 6.7. I'm going to end up on insulin for sure.
Talk about feeling like a failure.
I'm sorry folks, but I'm feeling really discouraged today, and I need to vent a little.
I went to the Gestational Diabetes clinic today to learn how to check my blood sugar, and about the dietary element of controlling it. It was a lot of great information, and I was feeling a bit proud of myself, because looking at the nutrition stuff I was actually getting a lot of it right. Granted I need to increase my protien intake (particularly at breakfast), but everything else was looking really really good.
So, what was my blood sugar level when I tested at the clinic (two hours after breakfast)? 9.9. What was it after lunch? 9.2. And after dinner? 10! It should be less than 6.7. I'm going to end up on insulin for sure.
Talk about feeling like a failure.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Week 25: Halfling Update
Greeting Humble Readers!
Your friendly neighbourhood hobbit is pretty tuckered out today. But once I get myself motivated to get off this couch I'm planning on getting back to work on the nursery. I figure if I go through my craft stuff today, then my Beloved can go through his immense set of junk drawers later this week. When we get the room done, I'm going to post pictures for you all. I just hope it turns out the way I'm visualizing.
How far along? 25w0d
Maternity clothes? Yup... The bella bands are starting to get a bit tiresome now, so I think come September, I will only have three pairs of pants to wear to work. Oh well... I've also ordered 2 pairs of maternity jeans.
Body Oddities? The stuffy sinuses are back, I'm going to have to start using the nose strip things again. Weight has been all over the place, up, then down, but generally hanging out within 2 pounds of my pre pregancy weight. My internal thermometer is also way out of wack... I feel like I'm living in a world that's 5-10 degrees warmer than everyone else's. Leg cramps have been a real biotch too.
Sleep? I have a love-hate relationship with sleep these days. I love sleep, but I don't feel like I'm getting enough. One of the things that helps me sleep is my insanely huge body pillow. It's one of those curly ones, so it hooks over my shoulder and goes between my knees. It's great, except that I don't roll over at all at night when I sleep with it, so my hips end up being really really sore when I wake up.
Best moment this week? Yesterday, when I realized I only have three more weeks in the second trimester.
Worst moment? Finding out that I have the dreaded GD, being woken up from a dead sleep by leg cramps
Movement? He/she is most active in the morning when I first get up and then through the afternoon and evening. My Beloved still can't feel the kicks and rolls yet, but I think it will be soon.
Food cravings? Hummus, yoghurt, sweets (which I am striving to avoid as much as I can)
Rings? Still on... but I think I've only got a few weeks left. There have been a few mornings where I have woken up concerned that I wasn't going to be able to get them off. I have put off getting them soldered, and to have them prettified, so I think now might be a good time.
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy
Intense Dreams? So many about loss. Blood has also been a key image in my dreams lately. I wish they would stop.
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day... bp holding steady at 130-ish over 70-ish), Gestational Diabetes (going to a GD clinic on Thursday to learn how to test my blood sugar, etc), on prescription Zan.tac for heartburn.
What I miss? Chocolate peanut butter cups, being able to shave my legs in the shower, sushi
What I look forward to? the full hour massage I have scheduled for this afternoon, getting to start painting the nursery.
Emotional State? Still all over the place. Laughing hysterically one moment, snarky the next. Mostly tied to my energy level.
Your friendly neighbourhood hobbit is pretty tuckered out today. But once I get myself motivated to get off this couch I'm planning on getting back to work on the nursery. I figure if I go through my craft stuff today, then my Beloved can go through his immense set of junk drawers later this week. When we get the room done, I'm going to post pictures for you all. I just hope it turns out the way I'm visualizing.
How far along? 25w0d
Maternity clothes? Yup... The bella bands are starting to get a bit tiresome now, so I think come September, I will only have three pairs of pants to wear to work. Oh well... I've also ordered 2 pairs of maternity jeans.
Body Oddities? The stuffy sinuses are back, I'm going to have to start using the nose strip things again. Weight has been all over the place, up, then down, but generally hanging out within 2 pounds of my pre pregancy weight. My internal thermometer is also way out of wack... I feel like I'm living in a world that's 5-10 degrees warmer than everyone else's. Leg cramps have been a real biotch too.
Sleep? I have a love-hate relationship with sleep these days. I love sleep, but I don't feel like I'm getting enough. One of the things that helps me sleep is my insanely huge body pillow. It's one of those curly ones, so it hooks over my shoulder and goes between my knees. It's great, except that I don't roll over at all at night when I sleep with it, so my hips end up being really really sore when I wake up.
Best moment this week? Yesterday, when I realized I only have three more weeks in the second trimester.
Worst moment? Finding out that I have the dreaded GD, being woken up from a dead sleep by leg cramps
Movement? He/she is most active in the morning when I first get up and then through the afternoon and evening. My Beloved still can't feel the kicks and rolls yet, but I think it will be soon.
Food cravings? Hummus, yoghurt, sweets (which I am striving to avoid as much as I can)
Rings? Still on... but I think I've only got a few weeks left. There have been a few mornings where I have woken up concerned that I wasn't going to be able to get them off. I have put off getting them soldered, and to have them prettified, so I think now might be a good time.
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy
Intense Dreams? So many about loss. Blood has also been a key image in my dreams lately. I wish they would stop.
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day... bp holding steady at 130-ish over 70-ish), Gestational Diabetes (going to a GD clinic on Thursday to learn how to test my blood sugar, etc), on prescription Zan.tac for heartburn.
What I miss? Chocolate peanut butter cups, being able to shave my legs in the shower, sushi
What I look forward to? the full hour massage I have scheduled for this afternoon, getting to start painting the nursery.
Emotional State? Still all over the place. Laughing hysterically one moment, snarky the next. Mostly tied to my energy level.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Once Begun is Half Done
Or, at least that's what Grandma always said, Humble Readers!
We finally started working on the nursery for real today. It doesn't look like we made a lot of progress yet, but it involved two trips to Va.lue Vil.lage. Because the spare room had become a glorified storage room, it hasn't been regularly dusted or cleaned... so you can imagine there was much sneezing and rubbing of eyes.
My Beloved had spent a big chunk of time a couple of weekends ago going through our personal files, purging and transferring them from file crates to an actual file cabinet. Said cabinet is now in our master bedroom closet. We still have a 5' tall plastic drawer unit that my Beloved has just tossed stuff into for the last ten years that we need to go through. And we need to get rid of a bunch of boxes of files that pertain to the condo building (Beloved is the accountant for the building, so there's lots of paper).
I need to go through a lot of my crafting stuff and decide what needs to be kept and what needs to go. I also consolidated one huge box of photos. So, now I need to go through them and decide what to do with them. They go all the way back to college... Up to 17 years of pics! Yikes! At least I'll have something to do if I end up on bed rest.
One of the hard things was getting rid of a lot of our wedding leftovers... invitations, thank you notes, place cards, etc. I kept one of each, but it was tough to just recycle that stuff.
My goal is to spend a little bit of time each day this week continuing to organize the rest of the room. I want to be able to paint the room by the end of the month (yeah, I know, I know... I've said that repeatedly).
Oh, and in case you haven't noticed... I've changed my mission impossible page to my list page. I started combining all my small lists into one large list. Double yikes!
We finally started working on the nursery for real today. It doesn't look like we made a lot of progress yet, but it involved two trips to Va.lue Vil.lage. Because the spare room had become a glorified storage room, it hasn't been regularly dusted or cleaned... so you can imagine there was much sneezing and rubbing of eyes.
My Beloved had spent a big chunk of time a couple of weekends ago going through our personal files, purging and transferring them from file crates to an actual file cabinet. Said cabinet is now in our master bedroom closet. We still have a 5' tall plastic drawer unit that my Beloved has just tossed stuff into for the last ten years that we need to go through. And we need to get rid of a bunch of boxes of files that pertain to the condo building (Beloved is the accountant for the building, so there's lots of paper).
I need to go through a lot of my crafting stuff and decide what needs to be kept and what needs to go. I also consolidated one huge box of photos. So, now I need to go through them and decide what to do with them. They go all the way back to college... Up to 17 years of pics! Yikes! At least I'll have something to do if I end up on bed rest.
One of the hard things was getting rid of a lot of our wedding leftovers... invitations, thank you notes, place cards, etc. I kept one of each, but it was tough to just recycle that stuff.
My goal is to spend a little bit of time each day this week continuing to organize the rest of the room. I want to be able to paint the room by the end of the month (yeah, I know, I know... I've said that repeatedly).
Oh, and in case you haven't noticed... I've changed my mission impossible page to my list page. I started combining all my small lists into one large list. Double yikes!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Thanks, Changes, & A Question
Good Evening Humble Readers!
First and foremost... Thank you to everyone who gave their supportive comments and suggestions on my last couple of posts. As my mom would say, I've been suffering from a bit of PLOM disease lately (poor-little-ol'-me). I've been feeling like the poster child for why fat women shouldn't get pregnant... I'm every stereotype in living colour.
And as you can see, I have been making some changes to the hobbit-hole. There are still some things I want to change... I would love a header/banner with an image or two, and I wish I could work html with some sort of skill.
Now, can anyone tell me how to fix my blogroll? It's way too spread out.
I've spent so much time tonight fiddling with my layout, that I've run out of steam. I'll be catching up with you all over the next couple of days. I hope all is well and that you have a great weekend.
First and foremost... Thank you to everyone who gave their supportive comments and suggestions on my last couple of posts. As my mom would say, I've been suffering from a bit of PLOM disease lately (poor-little-ol'-me). I've been feeling like the poster child for why fat women shouldn't get pregnant... I'm every stereotype in living colour.
And as you can see, I have been making some changes to the hobbit-hole. There are still some things I want to change... I would love a header/banner with an image or two, and I wish I could work html with some sort of skill.
Now, can anyone tell me how to fix my blogroll? It's way too spread out.
I've spent so much time tonight fiddling with my layout, that I've run out of steam. I'll be catching up with you all over the next couple of days. I hope all is well and that you have a great weekend.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Well, It's Happened...
Good Morning Humble Readers...
I just saw Dr. U. All is still well on the blood pressure front, and the Halfling looks great (he/she is lying transverse right now).
But the bad news... I failed the gestational diabetes test in a very VERY big way. I scored a 12 (1-7 is ok, 7-10 is borderline, 10+ sucks). So, now I'm waiting to hear from the diabetes education clinic and a nutritionist. I have to go back and see Dr. U in two weeks.
I knew that this is was a distinct possibility, but hearing it from my doctor just felt like a kick in the gut. Anyone with tips on how to travel this road, please send me your secrets on how to get through this without losing my mind.
I'm off to see what I can find on GD from Dr. Google.
I just saw Dr. U. All is still well on the blood pressure front, and the Halfling looks great (he/she is lying transverse right now).
But the bad news... I failed the gestational diabetes test in a very VERY big way. I scored a 12 (1-7 is ok, 7-10 is borderline, 10+ sucks). So, now I'm waiting to hear from the diabetes education clinic and a nutritionist. I have to go back and see Dr. U in two weeks.
I knew that this is was a distinct possibility, but hearing it from my doctor just felt like a kick in the gut. Anyone with tips on how to travel this road, please send me your secrets on how to get through this without losing my mind.
I'm off to see what I can find on GD from Dr. Google.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Processing...
Greetings Humble Readers...
I'm in a bit of a quandary. It's not anything I need to make a decision about. It's not anything that is going to change the course of my life. I'm just trying to figure out how I feel.
Here's the situation: You remember the wedding that we went to last weekend? My Beloved's nephew? He and his new bride have been a couple for a lot longer than my Beloved and I (they were highschool sweethearts), have lived together for the last couple of years (since she got her degree), and they are now in their mid-twenties. The weekend before the wedding, we found out that they are expecting.
My Beloved found out at a small family gathering. She's due around the end of March. Of course, they weren't really trying, they were just 'winging it'.
I'm hoping that no one judges me for what I'm about to say, but I really need to say it. I'm happy for them, but I'm a bit... irked? saddened? (dare I say) angry?
I believe I have mentioned before, my Beloved is the youngest in his family... by a lot. His next oldest sibling is 9 years older than him, and there are four older siblings. His oldest brother is just a couple years younger than my mom. The youngest of grandkids is 16 right now.
I have always known that our child(ren... hopefully) will be more like great-grandkids, and that they will be closer with their second cousins than their first cousins. And I knew that it was bound to happen sooner rather than later, but I guess I was naive enough to hope that it might not happen so soon.
All day at the wedding, I found myself watching her... in my head there was a bitchy voice critiquing and judging. (OMG... did she just light a cigarette? How much wine has she had?)
I don't know if this is just plain bold-faced jealousy... or if this is an IF emotional response. Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones. Maybe I'm feeling that our baby won't be as special. (my gawd, did I just write that?)
How can I be genuinely happy for them when I have all this baggage? And I honestly do want to be happy for them.
I feel like such a schmuck.
I'm in a bit of a quandary. It's not anything I need to make a decision about. It's not anything that is going to change the course of my life. I'm just trying to figure out how I feel.
Here's the situation: You remember the wedding that we went to last weekend? My Beloved's nephew? He and his new bride have been a couple for a lot longer than my Beloved and I (they were highschool sweethearts), have lived together for the last couple of years (since she got her degree), and they are now in their mid-twenties. The weekend before the wedding, we found out that they are expecting.
My Beloved found out at a small family gathering. She's due around the end of March. Of course, they weren't really trying, they were just 'winging it'.
I'm hoping that no one judges me for what I'm about to say, but I really need to say it. I'm happy for them, but I'm a bit... irked? saddened? (dare I say) angry?
I believe I have mentioned before, my Beloved is the youngest in his family... by a lot. His next oldest sibling is 9 years older than him, and there are four older siblings. His oldest brother is just a couple years younger than my mom. The youngest of grandkids is 16 right now.
I have always known that our child(ren... hopefully) will be more like great-grandkids, and that they will be closer with their second cousins than their first cousins. And I knew that it was bound to happen sooner rather than later, but I guess I was naive enough to hope that it might not happen so soon.
All day at the wedding, I found myself watching her... in my head there was a bitchy voice critiquing and judging. (OMG... did she just light a cigarette? How much wine has she had?)
I don't know if this is just plain bold-faced jealousy... or if this is an IF emotional response. Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones. Maybe I'm feeling that our baby won't be as special. (my gawd, did I just write that?)
How can I be genuinely happy for them when I have all this baggage? And I honestly do want to be happy for them.
I feel like such a schmuck.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Week 24: Viability Here We Come
Good Evening Humble Readers...
I have had a very productive day today. Washed the towels and the sheets and a load of regular laundry, cleaned the kitchen (except for the floor), had the oven looked at (we need a part, so I won't know until tomorrow how much the damage is going to be), went to see Dr. B, went to the hospital and had my first GD test, made supper, and went to Cost.co. Crazy busy!
So, we've reached viability... Not that I want this little Halfling to make his/her appearance any time soon! I had hoped that by the time I got to this point I would be less worried. But there are just different things to worry about now. I'll get through it I guess.
How far along? 24w0d
Maternity clothes? Yup... no change there!
Body Oddities? Killer heartburn... just awful! I mentioned it when I went to see Dr. B today and he gave me a prescription for Ranitidine (150 mg twice a day). Other stuff... broken blood vessels on my face, new skin tags, itchy skin, on top of all the usual stuff like bloating, constipation, and general fatigue. Oh, and a question for my bloggy sisters with IBS... if you've had the GD test, did it trigger a flare for you?
Sleep? Hit and miss this week... I have had a couple of amazing nights, but then others haven't been so hot. I think the Halfling must be going through a pretty major growth spurt because I'm exhausted all the time.
Best moment this week? Not really pregnancy related, but the wedding this weekend, getting to see all my Beloved's family again... was so much fun!
Worst moment? looking down at the scale and realizing that I can't see the numbers without really leaning forward and skewing the numbers. The belly has definitely increased... like that was necessary.
Movement? The Halfling has been very mobile lately... I've been feeling him/her up high and down low and everywhere in between.
Food cravings? CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!! and dairy products (yoghurt especially)
Rings? Still on... but I think I've only got a few weeks left. There have been a few mornings where I have woken up concerned that I wasn't going to be able to get them off.
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy
Intense Dreams? Still weird... I had a dream that I was in labour, and my water broke, but instead of gushing water there was foam coming out of my... well, you get the idea.
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day... bp holding steady at 130-ish over 70-ish). I will be going for multiple GD tests (first of which was today... results on Wednesday).
What I miss? Venti non-fat iced Chai lattes, sushi (the craving is back!)
What I look forward to? Continuing to take baby steps on the nursery project, when my Beloved can feel the Halfling's movements.
Emotional State? Not too bad... there's something that I'm going to post about tomorrow that has been on my mind a lot, but other than that, things have been mellower this week.
I have had a very productive day today. Washed the towels and the sheets and a load of regular laundry, cleaned the kitchen (except for the floor), had the oven looked at (we need a part, so I won't know until tomorrow how much the damage is going to be), went to see Dr. B, went to the hospital and had my first GD test, made supper, and went to Cost.co. Crazy busy!
So, we've reached viability... Not that I want this little Halfling to make his/her appearance any time soon! I had hoped that by the time I got to this point I would be less worried. But there are just different things to worry about now. I'll get through it I guess.
How far along? 24w0d
Maternity clothes? Yup... no change there!
Body Oddities? Killer heartburn... just awful! I mentioned it when I went to see Dr. B today and he gave me a prescription for Ranitidine (150 mg twice a day). Other stuff... broken blood vessels on my face, new skin tags, itchy skin, on top of all the usual stuff like bloating, constipation, and general fatigue. Oh, and a question for my bloggy sisters with IBS... if you've had the GD test, did it trigger a flare for you?
Sleep? Hit and miss this week... I have had a couple of amazing nights, but then others haven't been so hot. I think the Halfling must be going through a pretty major growth spurt because I'm exhausted all the time.
Best moment this week? Not really pregnancy related, but the wedding this weekend, getting to see all my Beloved's family again... was so much fun!
Worst moment? looking down at the scale and realizing that I can't see the numbers without really leaning forward and skewing the numbers. The belly has definitely increased... like that was necessary.
Movement? The Halfling has been very mobile lately... I've been feeling him/her up high and down low and everywhere in between.
Food cravings? CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!! and dairy products (yoghurt especially)
Rings? Still on... but I think I've only got a few weeks left. There have been a few mornings where I have woken up concerned that I wasn't going to be able to get them off.
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy
Intense Dreams? Still weird... I had a dream that I was in labour, and my water broke, but instead of gushing water there was foam coming out of my... well, you get the idea.
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol, 3 times a day... bp holding steady at 130-ish over 70-ish). I will be going for multiple GD tests (first of which was today... results on Wednesday).
What I miss? Venti non-fat iced Chai lattes, sushi (the craving is back!)
What I look forward to? Continuing to take baby steps on the nursery project, when my Beloved can feel the Halfling's movements.
Emotional State? Not too bad... there's something that I'm going to post about tomorrow that has been on my mind a lot, but other than that, things have been mellower this week.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Hobbit-ish Potpurri: Shop-a-holics Anonymous
Good Evening Humble Readers!
I hope you are all looking forward to a fun, restful weekend. I know I am! That's right, I've got the weekend off!!! (Of course I had to specifically request it, way back in December, but hey... I'm off!)
*****
The reason why I have the weekend off is because one of my Beloved's nephews is getting married tomorrow. He's the first of the (bio) grandkids to get married and it's a big big day. It's going to be a pretty low key wedding (evening ceremony followed by a dance, no reception). I haven't seen much of my Beloved's family in the last few months, so I'm really looking forward to connecting with them again.
*****
The wedding has led to a lot of shopping recently. Shower gift (casserole dishes, kitchen towels, and a cookbook), wedding gift (bath sheets, hand towels, wash cloths, potpurri), new shirt for Beloved, new new shoes for Beloved... and then all the extras that I found along the way (including some Christmas presents!).
*****
One of the extras that 'fell' into my shopping cart is the very first little outfit for the Halfling. It's a four piece little set, with a onesie, a diaper shirt, pants, and a jacket. White with little snails and butterflies all over it, green for the pants and jacket. And for a really good price too. But I can't tell you how hard it was to buy it. I almost put it back twice. So, now, hanging in our closet (not in the baby's room yet) is a sweet little outfit for this Halfling that is kicking the stuffing out of me right now.
*****
Work has been super stressful lately. Our GM is on vacation (which delays a lot of decision making), and we are in the midst of our end of summer staff exodus (it happens every year at this time, to some degree). This year the exodus is particularly hard hitting because we are having to fill some key positions. And going into the critical holiday season we need the best of the best in those spots. There are also a bunch of things that are just beyond our control (ie - the economy, the weather) that are making our jobs harder right now too.
*****
Galactic Badness Alert! My oven died two days ago! I had used it the a couple of days before, and thought that it was taking a little longer to heat up than normal, but I didn't think much of it at the time. I went to use it the other day, just to toast up a couple hamburger buns, and nothing happened... ARGH! I have made sure that the timer didn't get turned on by accident, I've checked the connections on the elements inside and they all seem to be okay. So... because I have exhausted my limited capabilities of fix-it-ness, we have called a repair man. He'll be here on Monday morning and I am praying that it won't cost too much to fix.
*****
We are under ANOTHER severe thunderstorm warning. Pretty much every three days now. I just hope that tomorrow is nice for the wedding.
I hope you are all looking forward to a fun, restful weekend. I know I am! That's right, I've got the weekend off!!! (Of course I had to specifically request it, way back in December, but hey... I'm off!)
*****
The reason why I have the weekend off is because one of my Beloved's nephews is getting married tomorrow. He's the first of the (bio) grandkids to get married and it's a big big day. It's going to be a pretty low key wedding (evening ceremony followed by a dance, no reception). I haven't seen much of my Beloved's family in the last few months, so I'm really looking forward to connecting with them again.
*****
The wedding has led to a lot of shopping recently. Shower gift (casserole dishes, kitchen towels, and a cookbook), wedding gift (bath sheets, hand towels, wash cloths, potpurri), new shirt for Beloved, new new shoes for Beloved... and then all the extras that I found along the way (including some Christmas presents!).
*****
One of the extras that 'fell' into my shopping cart is the very first little outfit for the Halfling. It's a four piece little set, with a onesie, a diaper shirt, pants, and a jacket. White with little snails and butterflies all over it, green for the pants and jacket. And for a really good price too. But I can't tell you how hard it was to buy it. I almost put it back twice. So, now, hanging in our closet (not in the baby's room yet) is a sweet little outfit for this Halfling that is kicking the stuffing out of me right now.
*****
Work has been super stressful lately. Our GM is on vacation (which delays a lot of decision making), and we are in the midst of our end of summer staff exodus (it happens every year at this time, to some degree). This year the exodus is particularly hard hitting because we are having to fill some key positions. And going into the critical holiday season we need the best of the best in those spots. There are also a bunch of things that are just beyond our control (ie - the economy, the weather) that are making our jobs harder right now too.
*****
Galactic Badness Alert! My oven died two days ago! I had used it the a couple of days before, and thought that it was taking a little longer to heat up than normal, but I didn't think much of it at the time. I went to use it the other day, just to toast up a couple hamburger buns, and nothing happened... ARGH! I have made sure that the timer didn't get turned on by accident, I've checked the connections on the elements inside and they all seem to be okay. So... because I have exhausted my limited capabilities of fix-it-ness, we have called a repair man. He'll be here on Monday morning and I am praying that it won't cost too much to fix.
*****
We are under ANOTHER severe thunderstorm warning. Pretty much every three days now. I just hope that tomorrow is nice for the wedding.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
You've Got To Check This Out
Good Morning Humble Readers!
I stumbled across this site last week, and I have wiled away far too much time reading through it. It would be funny if it weren't so darn scary...
My OB Said What?
I will definitely have some questions for my OB at my next appointment!
I stumbled across this site last week, and I have wiled away far too much time reading through it. It would be funny if it weren't so darn scary...
My OB Said What?
I will definitely have some questions for my OB at my next appointment!
Monday, August 2, 2010
23 Weeks: Halfling Report
Good Evening Humble Readers...
I really want to say something profound here, but I'm pooped. Hopefully tomorrow I will be more energetic and interesting. In the mean time... here's the latest on the Halfling!
How far along? 23w0d
Maternity clothes? Absolutely... I'm finding that even my bella bands are starting to get a little tight. I've probably only got another few weeks to use them. One pair of my jeans is finally starting to get a little snug, too.
Body Oddities? Oh man...constipation and bloating have returned with a vengance. Heartburn has been horrible! I actually had to leave work early a couple of days ago because it was so awful. And last, but certainly not least (tmi warning here)... I think 'leaking' is going to be happening sooner rather than later. The last few days the girls have been doing some pretty weird stuff.
Sleep? Much better this week! I have been able to fall back to sleep easily after my 3am trip to the bathroom most nights. I've actually gotten some really good rest, and my Beloved has commented that he likes waking up with me beside him (something that has become rare in the last couple of months).
Best moment this week? Church on Sunday morning... telling a couple of people who hadn't known that I was pregnant. The looks on their faces were priceless! I know I'm not showing all that much, people who don't know just think I've gains some more weight. I just love surprising people like that...
Worst moment? Sunday night, after work. It was our monthly changeover at the store (changing all the displays and promos) and I overdid it a bit. I ended up in a lot of pain, and was feeling a bit sorry for myself.
Movement? I'm starting to recognize patterns in the Halfling's movements. S/he is pretty active mid morning, and then again late afternoon and early evenng.
Food cravings? CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!!
Rings? Still on...
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy
Intense Dreams? Holy crap have they been weird! They've become like twisted movies in which I'm the star. For example, there was one where I was a part of an all-girl jewellry heist crew where I was sneaking into houses and jewellry stores stealing diamonds and emeralds. Nuts!
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol three times a day). I will be going for multiple (3+) GD tests... yuck!
What I miss? Venti non-fat iced Chai lattes... good heavens I want one!
What I look forward to? Continuing work on the nursery (bought the paint and curtains this week), ordering the crib, my Beloved's nephew's wedding next weekend
Emotional State? Oh Humble Readers... I have been a mess! Crying at the drop of a hat, cranky beyond belief... even one of my staff commented on that. Am I ever going to be normal again?
I really want to say something profound here, but I'm pooped. Hopefully tomorrow I will be more energetic and interesting. In the mean time... here's the latest on the Halfling!
How far along? 23w0d
Maternity clothes? Absolutely... I'm finding that even my bella bands are starting to get a little tight. I've probably only got another few weeks to use them. One pair of my jeans is finally starting to get a little snug, too.
Body Oddities? Oh man...constipation and bloating have returned with a vengance. Heartburn has been horrible! I actually had to leave work early a couple of days ago because it was so awful. And last, but certainly not least (tmi warning here)... I think 'leaking' is going to be happening sooner rather than later. The last few days the girls have been doing some pretty weird stuff.
Sleep? Much better this week! I have been able to fall back to sleep easily after my 3am trip to the bathroom most nights. I've actually gotten some really good rest, and my Beloved has commented that he likes waking up with me beside him (something that has become rare in the last couple of months).
Best moment this week? Church on Sunday morning... telling a couple of people who hadn't known that I was pregnant. The looks on their faces were priceless! I know I'm not showing all that much, people who don't know just think I've gains some more weight. I just love surprising people like that...
Worst moment? Sunday night, after work. It was our monthly changeover at the store (changing all the displays and promos) and I overdid it a bit. I ended up in a lot of pain, and was feeling a bit sorry for myself.
Movement? I'm starting to recognize patterns in the Halfling's movements. S/he is pretty active mid morning, and then again late afternoon and early evenng.
Food cravings? CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!!!
Rings? Still on...
Gender? Not going to find out, but I think it's a boy
Intense Dreams? Holy crap have they been weird! They've become like twisted movies in which I'm the star. For example, there was one where I was a part of an all-girl jewellry heist crew where I was sneaking into houses and jewellry stores stealing diamonds and emeralds. Nuts!
Medical Concerns? High blood pressure (on 50mg Trandate/Lobetalol three times a day). I will be going for multiple (3+) GD tests... yuck!
What I miss? Venti non-fat iced Chai lattes... good heavens I want one!
What I look forward to? Continuing work on the nursery (bought the paint and curtains this week), ordering the crib, my Beloved's nephew's wedding next weekend
Emotional State? Oh Humble Readers... I have been a mess! Crying at the drop of a hat, cranky beyond belief... even one of my staff commented on that. Am I ever going to be normal again?
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