Infertile Math

Good Evening Humble Readers...

So, infertile math...

it's kind of like girl math...

You know... where you can have an extra helping of dessert because you had a salad for dinner? Or because you saved big time on that super cute handbag/pair of shoes/sweater, you can justify the purchase of those adorable earrings.

Infertile math... if I O'd on this date, then the earliest I could expect AF is that date. And if my temps don't start to drop by 12dpo, then I'll let my self start to hope. If my phantom symptoms are an 8 or higher on the intensity scale, then I'll let myself think about testing.

So, with that in mind...

If I'm correct, and I did O on CD14, then AF should be here by Sunday. But, if by some suspension of reality, and if Fertility Friend is correct that I O'd on CD17 (never o'd that late in the two years I've been charting), then I'm really only 9dpo today, and AF won't be here until Wednesday.

Confused yet? I know that I am, but I'm dyslexic so that might explain it.

I am going to hold on to hope. Maybe this morning's bfn was accurate. Maybe it wasn't. I know it's not truly over until AF shows her ugly face.

I don't mean to sound like a broken record, but my b00bs are really killing me. The cramps I had this morning twinged themselves out without really developing into anything at all. No spotting and the little bit of a lower backache I had this morning faded before I even left for work. I have been hungrier than normal, but as soon as I start to eat I feel very full and can't bring myself to eat much.

But... (everyone join in on the chorus now!)

I know it's probably all in my head.

*Sigh*

Good Morning Humble Readers...

Thank you for your prayers and warm thoughts. I did in fact test this morning and got a bfn.

Is it just me, or is there a direct correlation between how expensive an hpt is to how quickly you start feeling twinges of cramps after using it? I swear, the little control line hadn't even appeared when I had that first pinch of cramps.

But my b00bs still hurt (a lot), still feeling nauseous...

Let the insanity begin.

Only An Infertile Would Understand

Good evening, Humble Readers!

You know you are an infertile when you don't even bat an eye walking into your favourite discount big box store and spending $30 on several different brands of hpts, and $5 on fem-hy products.

Yes, I've decided to cave and test tomorrow. I will be 12dpo, which is only one day shy of my usual luteal phase. My phantom symptoms have been pretty incredible today... I've actually been really nauseous today, exhausted, and oh the pain in the b00bs! In a normal cycle, by this time in my cycle the phantom symptoms are starting to fade.

I know it's probably just all in my mind, but that little seed of hope is still there.

Time Crunch

Good Morning humble readers...

Some of you may recall that at my last OB appointment, I was put on a waiting list for a hysteroscopy for the purposes of removing a polyp. Well, in the last two days I have gotten a ton of phone calls from the pre-admissions clinic.

First, they wanted to set me up on June 11th... not good for two reasons. That week we have our regional manager in the store, and I need to be there (as much as I'm not looking forward to it... she and I just don't mesh well). Also, my OB told me at my last appointment that it could take a couple months before they could get me in, and to just try like bunnies between now and then because we could always cancel the procedure if I do get pregnant. If I were to go ahead with the procedure on the 11th, then I would only be 4 or 5DPO, too early to determine if I was pregnant, and we have been trying.

So, they accepted that and told me they would get back to me with the next available date. I thought it would take another few weeks before I would hear from them again. Nope! Got the call yesterday... June 23rd. Ok, that works well for me. I'm on a vacation week, so I won't be missing any more work. And I will know definitively by then if I am pregnant. Great... it's booked.

Then I get another call from pre-admissions. They need to set up a pre-consult with anesthesia. Gah! I imagine that it's because of my size, but I did fine under general anesthesia last time. So I have to juggle my work schedule just to go for a half hour appointment the week before.

I'm just praying that I get my bfp... and maybe even get it a day or two early... then I won't have to go for either appointment.

If any of you have had a hysteroscopy, can you give me a heads up? I imagine it will be like HSG in terms of pain, but is there anything else that I need to know?

Listen to your mother...

My mom always says, "Don't pray for patience... the good Lord might just give it to you".

Oh, how I'm feeling those words today. I'm DPO 6, and have at least another week before I can call the OB to book the HSG. This month has felt like a year. I just want to be moving forward! This anxiety is starting to wear on me.

*sigh*

I know that a week goes by fast... I KNOW that! But it seems like it's already been forever.