Friday, October 16, 2009

The Fog is Lifting (aka The Self-Analysis Post)

Well, Humble Readers... it seems that the fog, and the funk, is clearing.

Is it because it has finally stopped snowing? (Yes, that's right. Here on the northern flatland, we had an early taste of winter. This has been the coldest October in almost 25 years... and of course it followed the hottest September on record. Go figure!) Is it because the thermometer is closer to normal temperatures for this time of year?

Is it because I have just spent two hours baking? (One batch of glazed pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and two loaves of cinnamon loaf. Peanut butter chocolate bars are being made tomorrow.)

Or maybe it's because I'm getting close to O time and maybe my hope is creeping back in?

Or maybe it's just the new cd I got the other day... there is a tonne of power in getting a musical soundtrack that I don't already know by heart.

Whatever it is, I'm glad! I wasn't enjoying being in my head so much. I'm starting to feel like me.

When I let my rational self think about how things went last month, many things become clear. First, I was putting way to much pressure on myself. It's only our first month officially trying again after our break. I know that getting pregnant isn't our issue. It will happen, eventually.

Second, I fell victim to the stupid idea that somehow being on vacation might help make things happen. Really... how ridiculous? How many times have I rolled my eyes when someone gave me that assvice?

Last... I always have a bit of a slump around my birthday. From the time I was 16, every year around my birthday I get a bit blue. I think being on vacation on my birthday delayed the inevitable.

So, when my cycle chose this last month to screw around on me, it was just crappy timing all the way around.

Thank you, Humble Readers, for your patience with my whining, and for your support.


  1. You never whine. We like to listen and wish I could do it over a cup of tea and some of that delish sounding baked happiness over there. :-) Good luck during O time. HAVE FUN!

  2. There are so many 'they just went on vacation' stories, they get to the most jaded of us.
    I always find myself more hopeful around O time!

  3. All of your baking sounds yummy. I'm glad your coming out of your haze and feeling a bit better. I hope this cycle is a good one for you.

  4. Which musical CD?

    Glad you're feeling better.


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