Saturday, March 20, 2010

More Of The Same... and A Decision

Good Afternoon Humble Readers...

Yes indeedy, I testeded again this morning.  I used my second FRER and a Clearblue.  The FRER came back with an uber-faint line, but the CB was friendlier. 

You know how you can watch the 'moisture' (trying to be polite for my non-procreation-obsessed readers) move across the little window?  Well, this line showed up right away! 

Still not as dark as I would like it to be, but I have to keep reminding myself that it really is still early.  I'm only 12dpo.  With our first pregnancy, I didn't get a faint bfp until I was 15dpo, even tho my luteal phase at that point was only 11.5-12 days. 

I am feeling very hopeful, and the three very necessary trips to the bathroom while I was at work today are just adding to that.  Tomorrow is d-day... the day that AF is due.  I really don't think she's going to show up.  I think this might be it...

And thinking along those lines helped me come to a decision.  The last time I was pregnant (Dec 08 -Jan 09), I was terrified the entire time.  I mean, shaking in my boots, crying at the drop of a hat, shit-scared that it wasn't going to work, that we were going to lose another baby.  Well, we did.  And being all stressed and anxious like that didn't do anything except ruin what should have been a happy time.  So, I have decided that I am going to enjoy this pregnancy... whether it lasts for 9 minutes, 9 days, or 9 months... I am pregnant, and I am happy.  Yes, there is a part of me that is nervous, but for right now I am choosing to ignore that voice.  I want to take joy in this moment.

23 comments :

  1. I am so excited for you!! I really do hope this is that sticky bean you've been waiting for. Keep posting those pee sticks... still waiting for the digital that announces PREGNANT!!!

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  2. Question: Have you seen a dr about your miscarrying? With such a short LP, you might have a progesterone issue that needs fixing. It's an easy fix and can save you from miscarrying perfectly healthy babies. Pleeeeeeeease do me a favor and see someone asap for a progesterone test (if you haven't already) so I don't have to worry for you. *hugs*

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  3. I am beyond thrilled for you! And I completely agree that you should delight in this little life. I had a m/c at the same time as you (which is how I found you via Baby Centre)and I know the nervousness and worry never goes away... not at 12 weeks or 24 weeks or ever. It's no way to live. You deserve the joy and so does your baby (OMG your baby! Eeeeee!)

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  4. Oh my goodness! This is looking good!

    I agree with the outlook that you have...to try your best not to live in fear. (((HUGS)))

    I hope this is your super sticky bean!

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  5. Looks like a beautiful positive to me! And an even better beautiful, positive attitude! So happy and excited for you.

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  6. Congrats on the positive, hope it sticks around for you and gets stronger with every passing day.

    ICLW
    #101
    http://thegalwho.wordpress.com/

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  7. Yay! Just yay! So excited for you, I really hope this is it :)

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  8. I am so, so happy for you!

    Just for your sanity, go to GNC or a really great drug store and buy some progesterone cream (over the counter as a treatment for menopause). All you have to do is apply a quarter size dollop and rub it in. Short luteal phases can be a symptom of progesterone probs.

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  9. Wooooo hoooooooooooooo!!! So happy for you! Can't wait to see pic of your super dark lines in a couple of days!

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  10. Wow how exciting!!!! I know what you mean about being positive. With this last IVF we did I was totally like I am pregnant and I will be pregnant and very positive and here I am today at 8w1d pregnant with twins. Attitude is everything but so much harder for those of us that have been trying forever to have a baby! I am really really happy for you and I just know that line is going to be beautiful and dark in a few days! Congratulations mama. - Happy March ICLW

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  11. Great outlook and attitude, sweetie. You are right, it is important to enjoy this moment. I am hoping and praying this one is *the* one. I will be checking on you!! Those tests look like they are getting darker :)
    ~ICLW (but here for you all the time)

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  12. OH my goodness! What hopeful, wonderful news! My fingers are crossed. And prayers are sent!

    ICLW#29

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  13. Congratulations!! I completely understand where you're at...we lost a baby in Dec. and we're pregnant again. We're really enjoying it, but I'm not as naive this time to think that nothing can happen. I'm trying to relish in the joy and happiness and only let the questions and uncertainty creep in once in a while. So excited for you and hoping you get a beta soon! Best wishes!

    Christina
    iclw

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  14. Congratulations! I am very happy for you. I hope this bean is sticky and you soon find the joy that you deserve.

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  15. CONGRATULATIONS! What a wonderful distraction :)
    I hope you can really enjoy this time
    xxx

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  16. Yaaaaaaahooooooooo!!!! I am just laying here grinning like a fool I am so happy for you. I agree with the others, get yourself to the doc right away for some progesterone. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you have dubbed the bebe The Halfling. :-)

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  17. I love that you're finding the way to enjoy it! The anxious stuff can get to us so bad, but I'm glad you're finding a way to beat it! I'm excited for you!! And I smiled when I saw those little poppyseeds to the right of your page. :) I think you should call the Dr right away and see if they can Rx some progesterone. I'm thinking of you and sending sticky sticy vibes!!

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  18. Wooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!

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  19. Oh WOW!!!!!!! I am so excited for you! I so hope you'll enjoy the coming months!!!

    ICLW
    http://daega99-arewethereyet.blogspot.com/

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  20. I love the choice that you made to enjoy your pregnancy, no matter what. I think that's one of the best things you can do, albeit one of the hardest. Revel in it, Mama! We're saying prayers for you! :)

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  21. It looks like a bfp to me! Congrats! I will pray for a very sticky bean! With all your might, try to enjoy your pregnancy - it's truly an amazing and unbelievable journey!

    -ICLW

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  22. That is definitely darker than the last one, FX!
    Stay positive!

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  23. Congrats!! Yay! I have always struggles with those Clearblue plus signs for some reason. I'm looking forward to your digital test!

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