A Weensy Bit Irked

Good Morning Humble Readers...

I love my OB.  He's great.  He's been very supportive through our losses and the testing we did last year.  After my hysteroscopy (to remove a uterine polyp), he told me, and put in my file, that I was contact him as soon as I 'achieve pregnancy' rather than having to wait for a referral from my GP.   

I knew he wouldn't send me for blood work until AF was officially late, which is why I waited until this morning to start pestering.  He knows my history, and silly me, I assumed* that I would be able to just pick up the blood work req from his office, go to the lab, and have my first appointment after the results were in.  Not the case. 

I can't get in to see him until Friday morning (and I have to try to juggle my work schedule to do it).  At that point I will get the paperwork for the labs I need.  Meanwhile, I'm sitting here wonderng if my progesterone is high enough and is low progesterone a contributing factor to blighted ova (both my losses were BO)?  I went looking for OTC progesterone cream yesterday, but no one in town has any.  Only by prescription.  Argh!

Also, of course I tested again this morning.  No eye-bending required to see the lovely blue line this morning.  I'm going to try a digital again later in the week.  Felt very pukey, too.  Yesterday I was a bit anxious, being that if AF was going to show, she would have done so, but there was no sign of the witch.  I'm feeling a bit crampy, mostly in the mornings. 

Because this whole thing still doesn't seem quite real, I couldn't bring myself to put up a floating baby.  So instead I found the one with the seeds/fruit comparisons.  I've also considered opening those books I bought ages ago... you know the ones. 

In other news... my laptop appears to have contracted some sort of a virus/spyware/malware something. It's weird, making it so that I can't use search engines (talk about annoying!). I go.ogle something and the list of webpages come up, but when I click a link it takes me to some ad list that is only slightly related to my search. I've tried using downloadable malware removal software, but it only worked once.  I think I'm going to have to take it in.  Lame!

I hope that you are all well, and enjoying ICLW!  I know I am!


* I know that assuming makes me an ass, and that me being pregnant does not automatically make openings appear in my OBs appointment book.  I'm still irked though. 

More Of The Same... and A Decision

Good Afternoon Humble Readers...

Yes indeedy, I testeded again this morning.  I used my second FRER and a Clearblue.  The FRER came back with an uber-faint line, but the CB was friendlier. 

You know how you can watch the 'moisture' (trying to be polite for my non-procreation-obsessed readers) move across the little window?  Well, this line showed up right away! 

Still not as dark as I would like it to be, but I have to keep reminding myself that it really is still early.  I'm only 12dpo.  With our first pregnancy, I didn't get a faint bfp until I was 15dpo, even tho my luteal phase at that point was only 11.5-12 days. 

I am feeling very hopeful, and the three very necessary trips to the bathroom while I was at work today are just adding to that.  Tomorrow is d-day... the day that AF is due.  I really don't think she's going to show up.  I think this might be it...

And thinking along those lines helped me come to a decision.  The last time I was pregnant (Dec 08 -Jan 09), I was terrified the entire time.  I mean, shaking in my boots, crying at the drop of a hat, shit-scared that it wasn't going to work, that we were going to lose another baby.  Well, we did.  And being all stressed and anxious like that didn't do anything except ruin what should have been a happy time.  So, I have decided that I am going to enjoy this pregnancy... whether it lasts for 9 minutes, 9 days, or 9 months... I am pregnant, and I am happy.  Yes, there is a part of me that is nervous, but for right now I am choosing to ignore that voice.  I want to take joy in this moment.

Holding Pattern

Good Morning Humble Readers...

(Cue the Jeopardy theme music)

I'm still very hopeful, and all my signs are pointing to me being pregnant. (temps still going up, all usual suspects... very painful b00bs, nausea, tired, bionic nose, hungry, mild tugging cramps).  None of my usual pre-AF symptoms.  I did test again yesterday before I left for work on another brand of test (the Zellers brand) and got the same result... very faint positive.

We went out and bought a bunch of tests last night, and this morning I PIAC.  Let's just say, the tests weren't my friend.  I tried an FRER first... and initially it looked like a negative but a few minutes later. (less than 10) there was a super faint line (I did try to take a pic, but the line didn't show up).  FRER has never really been my friend, not working nicely for me until AF was late.  I decided to use one of the CB digitals... the test was a total dud!  Got the little hourglass symbol, but then nothing one way or the other.  Argh!

At this point, I am considering myself PUPO.  My OB won't send me for a blood test until AF is late, so I'm going to harrass him on Monday.  Right now, I need to get my lazy self off the couch and into the shower.  I NEED to go to Costco today and our cupboards are looking really bare. 

Thank you so much to everyone who has been so supportive through this... your comments mean the world to me (not to mention make me laugh)!  I love this community and all my bloggy friends! 

Please keep everything crossed and keep praying.

A Very Merry Un-Birthday?

Good Morning Humble Readers...

So, today is my un-birthday, or rather my half birthday.  Not that I really want to celebrate being 35 and a 1/2... when and how did that happen?

But, I think I may have been given a present... (yes, I only managed to wait until 10dpo.  I confess, I'm weak)

It's probably an evap line... I would even say that I'm probably imagining it, except that my Beloved saw it too.  What do you all think?