Sunday, June 19, 2011

These Days...

Hey Humble Readers... (if there are still any of you out there who haven't given me up for dead)

I'm here.  I'm alive.  And I thought I'd give you a peek into where I'm at these days.

These days...

I'm in awe of a beautiful little girl who amazes me just by being.  Ginny is officially mobile, rolling and army-crawling everywhere and getting into everything.  Her growth seems to have slowed down (finally!) now that she's burning calories galore.  It's hard to believe it's been almost 7 months since I first saw those big blue eyes and tht mop of dark hair (which isn't so dark any more... somedays it's more red and blonde than brown). 

These days...

I'm reading a lot more than I have in the last few years.  It feels good to get lost in a book for a time.  And now that Ginny is napping during the day (thank you solid food!) I get a bit of time each day and my reading muscles are getting a work out.  Now I just need to work on not reading until the wee hours of the morning so that I'm not a slug during the day.

These days...

I'm watching less tv.  Many of you may recall that I am a tv junkie.  I have been since I was a kid.  Now, due to our welcome-to-parenthood financial wake up call, there is much less to watch as we have cut our cable back to the bare minimum.  We've also changed service providers, so I don't know what channels have what on any more.  Another reason to just turn the idiot box off. 

These days...

I'm spending an inordinate amount of time trying to reconstruct and reorganize my computer.  I was hit with a doozy of a virus last month that resulted in the hard drive of my trusty little netbook being entirely wiped.  Thankfully, all the pics from the last few years are still on the memory cards, cds, and flash drives, but it's taking some time just to get the most recent things reloaded and organized.  Once I have them all back, I'm going to transfer them to an online photo storage site so that I don't have to go through this again.  And I won't even mention trying to find all my bookmarked websites.  *sigh*

These days...

I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to stretch a buck.  Diaper service is gone (*sob*), as is the cable, eating out, and just random trips to the store for whatever I feel like having for lunch.  Our cell phones are next on the chopping block, but we are stuck with them until our contracts expire.  Beloved will keep his in a very scaled back form... likely pay-as-you-go.  I'm trying to find good sources for Canadian coupons, and good cheap recipes.  I still have my mat leave benefits until October, but we are working on getting our budget in line with what Beloved makes now, and using my mat-money to try to lower our monthly debt payments.  It's no joke, it's going to be tight, but we will make it.  It's more of an mental/emotional adjustment than anything right now. 

These days...

I have stopped tracking my cycles, put my FF account on hold, and am trying hard not to think about the fact that we have had to put trying for Halfling 2.0 on the back burner.  Our condo is just too small to add another person, and given the upside-down nature of both our mortgage and our car loan, we don't have the option of selling and moving up.  This has been the hardest part of the last month, coming to terms with the notion that while our family isn't yet complete, and I feel my eggs expiring every day, we have to wait.  I know that a baby doesn't take up much space, but just thinking about a baby and a toddler in this small place is frightening.

These days....

I spend a fair bit (too much!) time navel gazing.  Pondering who I am now, and what I'm doing.  It's nothing new, but all my adult life I have defined myself largely by my work.  I know that working retail doesn't seem like a huge contribution to society, but I enjoyed my work (most of the time) and my customers.  I took pride in helping people find what they were looking for and discover something new.  I know that I have a new and better job now... but still...  Honestly, I think I just need to fill my time better, so I can't get so self-centered.

These days...

I'm searching for my mojo.  I lost it somewhere this past winter and I want it back.  My bloggity mojo, my confident mojo, my cooking mojo (I've ruined far too many dishes lately), and by gum, my sexual mojo.  (Sorry, TMI) 

That's life in the hobbit-hole. 

I'm not making any promises (because I would hate to let you all down AGAIN), but I'm hoping to be back here again soon... with pics, with recipes, and with ramblings. 

11 comments :

  1. Of course, I missed you!

    Ginny is going to grow up into a beautiful girl.

    I do not have much advice on money woes. When do you plan to go back to work? Is daycare very expensive. I really hate to see you live like that.

    You are a wonderful cook and person, and can't believe you spoiled dishes. Compared to things I make better and your bad dish, you will win 8/10 times. Seriously!

    You can ask commentors for prompts on blog topics or questions, to get some of that mojo back!

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  3. Hey, been wondering how you were doing. I hear you on scaling back and finding mojo. We were already in a tight financial situation--and then 2 weeks ago I found out I am laid off. (Which, in a way, is financially better because of cutting back on daycare) But it leaves me in a very navel gazing, cut back but how far situation.

    I hope this summer gives us both some time and good weather to find ourselves. :-)

    You can e-mail me if you want--revenent at hotmail dot com.

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  4. I've noticed myself and a few other bloggers also in a "slump" regarding blogging as of late... For me personally, I don't know what to do (other than less time on FB and "Gardens of Time"....which isn't going to happen anytime soon as I like the outlet.)

    Between playdates/activities to keep Emma busy during the day, and FB-land at night, I've been reading a lot less this summer than I usually do. Kudos to you for keeping up with the books!

    I agree with St. Elsewhere---your cooking on a bad day still surpasses my good days by far!

    Hang in there, dear friend!

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  5. It's lovely to hear from you. I have to tell it to you straight, girl - you're so absolutely and completely NORMAL! That's EXACTLY what it feels like to have a baby - with the money, the food, the work, the self-definition AND the sex! And it WILL get better with time :) (((hugs))) xxx

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  6. My bloggy mojo is waning as well.

    I do have plenty of frugal tips though!

    My cut out the cable in December with no regrets. I live stream shows on Netflix on alot (you can do this on the computer too). I watch free podcasts of the Suze Orman show. I can buy podcasts of Project Runway if I want to, but instead discovered I don't care enough. I'll wait for the DVD.

    My favorite frugal cooking blogs:

    http://www.5dollardinners.com/

    http://goodcheapeats.com/

    http://www.kalynskitchen.com/

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  7. So nice to hear from you. :) Glad to see you're alive and kicking, even if things seems a bit tough! Hang in there and once the summer weather comes - things will be better. Doesn't sunshine and warm days have a way of doing that??
    p.s. I want to hear what you've been reading!

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  8. Hey! Good to here from you. I've been thinking about you, wondering if everything was okay. I hope things clear up for you soon! I'm right there with you on a lot of things.

    What books are you reading? I'd love to hear some recommendations.

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  9. I recently dealt with a lot of computer issues too, so I feel your pain on not posting, and losing all your bookmarks. Have no fear, you haven't lost all your readers! :)

    I know that for me, scaling back my lifestyle was so hard. I grew up in an upper-middle-class situation and married into a much more realistic-lower-middle-class situation and it took a good 3 years to come to grips with that, ans I still slip up sometimes on my spending. I think a lot of it comes down to accepting that I shouldn't care what others think, and being brutally honest with myself as to what we really NEED, and what we WANT. I think of how we would survive if we had lived 50 or 100 years ago, when what was really important was shelter, clothes for warmth, food for sustenance. Cutting back on cable etc makes such a difference, although I know how hard it is! I miss TV some days...

    I really hope you guys can find your balance of money and family and work and self. But be patient with yourself, know that this stuff takes time. **HUGS** And I do very much hope you put up some pictures soon!

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  10. Oh I hear you on trying to find your mojo! I'm in the same place. Kudos for cutting down the tv watching - that is 100% my biggest vice...I've thought about cutting our cable back so many times but can't bring myself to do it!

    Glad to hear things are well in the hobbit hole :)

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