Developing Family Traditions: Everyday Celebrations

Howdy Humble Readers!

(Ok... so I said I was going to publish this post a week ago.  Migraines and teething children and birthday parties sort of put it out of my head.  My apologies.)

I think, when people think of traditions, they think of the big events.  Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter... the big holidays when all the family gets together.  Those are all very important, and I will be posting about them later in this series. 

But there are so many more days in the year.  So many more moments to be commemorated and celebrated. Moments to pause and truly take in the achievements and growth of our families.  To me it's all about being intentional, about living more in the moment, and about teaching my children to do the same. 

Some examples of what I mean:

• great academic effort/achievement (awesome score on a test, improving a grade, etc)
• winning a spelling bee
• before an especially tough day (like before an exam or a big game)
• making the soccer team/winning a game/losing a tough game
• recovering from an illness (like chicken pox, or having a cast removed)
• overcoming a challenge (fear of speaking in public, remembering their first locker combination)
• leaving/coming home from camp
• mastering a new skill
• getting a new badge in boy/girl scouts
• before/after a dance performance
• exceptionally good behavior

And there is also an area that, within western culture, has diminished... rites of passage:

• learning to ride a bike
• moving from kindergarten to elementary school, elementary to middle school, etc
• being old enough to stay home alone
• first cell phone/computer/tablet (whatever the newest expensive technology they crave)
• first job
• getting ears pierced
• getting a driver's licence
• first date/first formal dance (granted this one could be tough to celebrate with a teen, but you get the idea)

I think it's important that parents set the tone for how both positive and potentially negative events are handled within the confines of the family.  How a parent responds to an event that their child sees as life-altering will affect not only how the child responds, but how the child views himself and how he will face the world in light of the event.  Allow me to illustrate.

I was six years old when I had to start wearing glasses.  I was upset about it because I was only the second kid in my class who had glasses (and the other kid was the sickly one who had to stay in at recess all the time).  On the day I got my glasses, when my bio-mom and I pulled into the yard, my bio-dad came up to the car, leaned in my window, and called me 'four eyes' and laughed.  I was devastated.  For years I felt that my dad thought less of me because I wore glasses.  If, instead of marking that milestone moment with mocking and laughter, my parents had chosen to celebrate the fact that I could now see and do better in school, I might have had more confidence in the change, rather than spending a couple of years trying to hide/lose my glasses.

As parents, I think we need to remind ourselves to think how our kids think.  An event may seem trivial to us, but it is life-changing to a seven year old.  And in validating their feelings (within reason), we can help to shape our children into healthy and happy people.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not implying that all of these kinds of events need to be celebrated in big ways.  But it does require a teensy bit of planning.  Particularly because some of these kinds of events will sneak up on you.

Dollar store plates, sharpies, and baked at 350F for 30 min.
Handwash. 
(this one can actually double as a dessert plate or a shallow bowl)

Full size plate
(really not happy with the lettering, but who cares)

So, now, while our wee-lings are still so young, I am taking some time to plan out how we will commemorate and celebrate the little victories. 

• I made these 'special days' plates.  They aren't anything really spectacular, but they are something that we can use at the drop of a hat when a an ordinary day becomes extraordinary. 
• a secret stash of crepe paper streamers, ribbon and balloons is always a good idea.  It's easy to decorate a dining room chair or a bedroom door in just a couple of minutes
• make up a stash of 'coupons' for a night off from chores, for staying up an extra half hour, or for a trip to the ice cream shop/bookstore/movies (depending on the magnitude of the achievement and your budget)
• allow them to choose a special meal or dessert

And I think, no matter how big or small you choose to celebrate, it's important that our kids hear us brag about them.  Call Grandma, aunties and uncles, or family friends and share you child's victory.  Mention it to their teacher.  Or your pastor.  Anyone else who is invested in seeing your child succeed and be happy. 

Oh... don't forget to include yourselves and your beloveds in the celebrating.  Children need to see adults to take pride in both the big and small events. 

Are there everyday events that I missed on my lists?  Milestones and rites of passage?  How do you or think you will celebrate the 'smaller' moments in the life of your family?

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Next up in the series... Birthdays and Unbirthdays!

Developing Family Traditions: An Introduction

Greeting Humble Readers...

I have been thinking a lot lately about the traditions that we celebrate and carry on in our family, and about how I want to develop some new traditions for our little family.  Coincidentally, the lovely ladies over at PAIL Bloggers have chosen this topic as the November theme posts.  Talk about great minds thinking alike!

tra·di·tion

noun \trə-ˈdi-shən\

Definition of TRADITION

1. a: an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (as a religious practice or a social custom)  b: a belief or story or a body of beliefs or stories relating to the past that are commonly accepted as historical though not verifiable
2. the handing down of information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction
3. cultural continuity in social attitudes, customs, and institutions
4. characteristic manner, method, or style tradition

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Definition courtesy of http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tradition

 

I feel that I need to start with a few pieces of information.  First of all, I'm coming at this whole topic from the framework of my Christian faith, and how we commemorate holidays, holy days, and the every day celebrations are all informed and shaped, in large and small ways, by what we believe.  Second, I'm not one to follow a tradition just because 'we always have'.  Traditions should have meaning and purpose, even if that purpose is simply something fun.  But if the sole purpose of a tradition is because it's fun, and over the years it becomes un-fun, well then why the heck are you doing it? 

 

I think, when most people think of traditions, they think of the biggies... the things they do around the big holidays, like Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter.  And those are good starting places.  But when I look at my family, I want to have celebrations throughout the year, marking the wonders of the everyday as well. 

 

And I think, for my family, an important part of our future traditions, whatever shape they take, service to others will play a role.  At least I hope it will. 

 

So, in the weeks to come, I will be writing about the things we do now as traditions, and things that I am hoping to incorporate in the future.  Some will be frivolous and silly, others, I hope, will be more thoughtful. 

 

Next week... Everyday celebrations.  How do we take the the ordinary happenings and make them memorable and extraordinary? 

 

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: Bits & Pieces

Howdy Humble Readers...

Have you ever tried to make your wishes known to and understood by an active toddler WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE A VOICE?  I am 100% voiceless and can barely manage a whisper right now.  Other than the voice, though, I seem to be conquering the crud.  I'm sleeping better and thankfully I don't think the wee-lings have caught it at all.  I'm only wishing that we had gone further with the baby sign than we did. 

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Canadian-ism of the Day:  I switched my cold remedy from the day/night pills to an old standby and seem to be getting much better results.  Yes, my fellow Canucks... I have resorted to taking Buc.kley's.  For those of you who aren't familiar with the dark brown bottle and the awfulness contained therein, please allow me to educate you.  Imagine if you melted down Vic.k's vaporub and boiled it with pine needles... that's about what it tastes like.  In fact, their company motto is "it tastes awful, but it works".   And in my experience, it does.

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The crud has impacted my attempts at being productive, but I'm still managing to get a few things done.  Yesterday I went through our closets and dressers, and bagged up 3 large black garbage bags of stuff to go to the thrift store.  All my maternity wear and things I haven't worn since I was working (how has it been more than two years since I left my job at the bookstore?) were all packed up and sent on to a new home. 

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Update on the applesauce:  Ended up making enough applesauce to last us about 9 weeks!  My freezer is now stocked with bags and bags of the golden loveliness. 

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Ginny has picked up a few new words that I'm hoping she doesn't say in public, but I know she will... First, she's learned the word 'dark' and because we are approaching the darkest time of the year, she's saying it a lot.  The thing is, when she says it, it doesn't sound like dark.  It sounds more like a not-so-nice word for lesbian.  Second, while my Beloved and I have been under the weather, she's taken to imitating us and doing this little fake cough thing.  She's now picked up on the fact that we are calling it her fake cough, so she's started saying it too.  Only when she says 'fake cough' it sounds a whole heck of a lot like my precious wee girl is telling me to f!#@ off.  *sigh*

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I'm planning on writing a series of posts, starting next week, on family traditions.  Be thinking about some of what you and yours do to make special days stand out and how you make the ordinary extraordinary.

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We are forecasted to get a pretty significant amount of snow today.  5-15cms.  Lovely.  Thankfully, we don't have any major plans that require being outside today.  Wherever you are, please stay safe and warm.  :)