When I got home from the doctor's office on Friday, and was all kinds of a wreck about the diabetes, my Beloved was amazing. He held me as I cried, didn't judge me, and told me that we are in this together. He refuses to hear any negativity from me about this, and in no uncertain terms am I allowed to throw the towel in.
Over the weekend we began to formulate our plan to battle this. Phase one is primarily changing how I think about the whole issue.
First and foremost, my self worth will NEVER EVER be defined by the number that shows up on my glucometer. A bad blood sugar reading does not mean I am a bad person. Shame has no place in getting healthy. My blood sugar numbers are between me, my Beloved, and my doc. No one else needs to know where I'm at.
Second, type 2 diabetes does not happen overnight. It took me 38 years to screw up my body, it's not going to be fixed overnight. In order to make some serious life-long changes in my life, I have to build better habits. And habits take time to develop. We are going to tackle things in small steps. I know me, and if I try to make huge sweeping changes all at once, I will slip up. And a slip up will make me feel like a failure, and I will want to give up. Small changes will lead to larger changes.
Third, we both recognize that insulin is a hormone, and as such it can have a pretty serious affect on my mood. I have to be proactive about recognizing that I'm in a funk and do something about it. Putting on my favourite music and dancing around the house, going outside and breathing some fresh air, or finding something to laugh at (like a stupid video on youtube or my pinterest board full of funnies). When I get into a funk, I am more likely to turn into a slug and make poor food choices. Best not to let it happen, if I can help it.
On the practical side, I will...
- Keep the fridge stocked with veggies and fruit to make snacking healthier.
- Continue to drink 4-6 litres of water every day, and have cinnamon tea at least once a day
- Stay on top of my meds.
- Focus on my carb counts... max 30 at breakfast, 45 at lunch, and 60 at dinner.
- Work on getting my 10000 steps a day. (I acknowledge that it will take some time to build up to that.) I am starting by walking early in the morning while my Beloved is getting ready for work.
- Check my blood sugars twice a day.
- Record everything. My sugars. My food intake. My exercise. This will keep me honest, and I will have it to show my doctor.
- Allow myself the occasional small treat, not as a reward, but because deprivation will lead to resentment, which will lead to cheating, which will lead to giving up.
- Allow myself non-food rewards for achieving particular goals. (First up - new work out clothes when I see a particular number on the scale. 12.5 pounds to go!)
Dr. B will likely have a few things to say about this plan, and it doesn't really deal with the cholesterol issue in any way. But this is a start.
As always, Humble Readers, I value your suggestions and your input.