Hobbit-ish Potpurri: Randomness Abounds

Howdy Humble Readers...

I hope that you're having a great day so far.  We had a fun morning of playing and goofing around, and now, I'm happily watching an old episode of Gilmore Girls and listening to my wee little mister snore his heart out. 

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From the stuff I wasn't warned about file:  I'm in an odd place in terms of my post-pregnancy body.  All my joints ache, particularly my hands, hips, knees, and ankles.  This happened after Ginny, too, and I found it seems to be fairly common, but why does no one talk about it?  It makes sense that we're warned that our tendons and ligaments stretch out and get all loosey-goosey during pregnancy, but why does no one talk about when those tendons and ligaments start going back to normal... the pain is making it difficult to sleep

And from the same file:  Nerves and muscles in my abdomen must be on a new level of healing because there have been random twitches and small spasms that almost make it feel like there's a halfling still in there kicking.    Bizarre!

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Exciting news for our hobbit-hole!  A couple of weeks ago the condo board agreed that we need to replace the patio doors on four of the six units in our building, including ours!  Yay!  The window guy was here measuring last week, and hopefully we'll have new sliding glass doors before the snow flies!  Ones with a screen door that actually slides open.  I'm not picky tho... ;)

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I had a nightmare last night that I was being stalked by this crazy woman.  She took over my blog and was posting all kinds of insane stuff saying she was me, and advertising porn sites from my online hobbit-hole.  Writing it out here, it doesn't sound scary, only nuts, but trust me I was freaked out.  I woke up just after 5 this morning shaking and with my heart racing.  It took about an hour and a half to shake the creepy feeling, even with reading and watching a bit of a documentary about farmers markets on PBS. 

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For all the work I did on the weekend to get the nursery ready to move Pippin in there, I haven't been able to do so yet.  I keep telling myself that I'm concerned that he'll start waking in the night again and disturb Ginny.  But really, I know I'm just lame. 

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Sold another of the real baby items we had... the tummy-time mat.  Pip is still doing tummy time of course, but we're actually working more on sitting up.  With the bum.bo chair and the bouncer-exerciser thing, and the playpen, and Ginny's reading chair all in the living room, I was just getting a bit claustrophobic.  I had to get rid of something.  And we have a gazillion receiving blankets to use for tummy time, and they fold up where the tummy-time mat didn't (at least not easily).  So why do I feel like crap for having sold it already?

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: The Road Goes Ever On and On

Howdy Humble Readers...

I'm sorry to say that your friendly neighbourhood hobbit is still under the weather.  It's still primarily a cough (a gross sounding, smokers-like cough), although I have had brief stretches of a low grade fever which has caused me a little angst (didn't get to 101F, so I think I'm okay) and the cough has made it apparent that I don't have the bladder control that I used to.  Ginny has also picked up a bit of the crud, a nasty cough and a runny nose, but that might just be teething.

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Despite the crud keeping me homebound this weekend, we did manage to get a few things done.  We are officially unpacked from our trip (finally!).  We were able to get all the Christmas decorations down (FINALLY!! I normally like to have them down by New Year's Day).   Laundry is done, and we are in the process of figuring out a better storage system for Ginny's growing collection of toys.  My to do list for this month has many organization projects on it, and I'm hoping that once I'm over this round of crud I'll be able to be more productive. 

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The Halfling has been jumping around like crazy, particularly whenever I drink something cold.  He/she seems to be awake more in the afternoons and evening.  Oh, and he/she really doesn't like it when Ginny decides to use me as a climbing wall.  Her little heels dig deep, and I guess the Halfling got a little pissed off because I got a pretty swift kick in return.  Is this the beginning of sibling rivalry?

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I would normally hold this back for my weekly update, but I want to get this down now, before I forget more than I already have.  I had a dream last night about the Halfling.  It was more than a birth dream, although that was part of it.  I saw her (and yes, it was a her), and yet I didn't.  I have no clear picture of what she looked like, except that she was small, smaller than Ginny was at birth.  I called her by name.  She was sucking her thumb right after delivery.  I'm pretty certain that she was delivered via c-section, although I'm not 100% sure.  I just know that I was so very happy.  And relieved.  I woke from the dream shortly after seeing her in the hospital bassinett in my room, but I woke with a peaceful heart.  It was a nice change from my other recent intense dreams. 

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Today is one of my 'memory-dates'.  One of those dates that is engraved on my brain.  It's not a loss, or an EDD that never came.  Instead, it's the date that this journey started.  Today marks the 4th anniversary of us beginning down the road to building our family, the day that I took my last birth control pill.  Our journey to get to this point hasn't been as long as some, but I'm thankful that this phase of our lives is slowly coming to a close, transitioning from a goal of getting/staying pregnant to something a little more future focussed.  This road doesn't end, only changes direction, with new challenges and opportunities.  As one of my kinfolk said...

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.       - Bilbo Baggins
(as quoted by J.R.R. Tolkien in LOTR: Fellowship of the Ring, CH. 1)

Kinda Freaky Realization

Humble Readers, something hit me last night...

Those of you who have been walking this road with me for a while may recall the baby dream that I had just before we lost our second angel-baby, Olivia Noelle.  For those who are newer co-journey-ers with me, the basics are:

I dreamed that we were at the little grocery store across the back lane from our building, introducing our newborn little girl to all the cashier ladies.  Somehow during the dream we managed to 'misplace' or lose our new little girl.  I was frantic.  I was racing all over the store, looking for her everywhere, but I just couldn't find her.  In the dream, I was heartbroken, sobbing and bawling over our misplaced baby.  But then my Beloved walked up to me, carrying a baby, but it was a different baby.  He said to me, 'I know we lost our little girl, but here's another that can be ours'.  The little girl was dark haired, with a little round face, and beautiful blue eyes. 

Now, I'm not one to put a whole lot of stock in dreams.  I mean, they are what they are.  I honestly just thought it was my mind's way of dealing with the fears I had of having a second miscarraige.  And, after the miscarraige happened, in my heart I kind of clung to that dream as a hope that maybe there would be a baby in our lives some day. 

Fastforward just over two years...

A beautiful little dark haired little girl with a round face and stunning blue eyes. 

(For the record, I really didn't think that any child that came from my body would have dark hair, much less have hair of any sort, as all babies in my family are either blonde or bald.  I totally forgot to take my Beloved's family into account.)

Kinda freaky...

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: Clearing Out the Cobwebs

Hey Humble Readers...

Are you still out there? 

Have you given up on me?  I wouldn't blame you one bit if you had. 

My only excuse for my ridiculous absence is a love affair of gargantuan proportions.  Honestly, I could stare at her for hours... watching her sleep, holding her (even when she's screaming her lungs out), watching her eyes light up when she recognizes me or my Beloved... heck even changing her stinky diapers is a joy.  I am gaga over her, and proud of it.  My only regret is that I am woefully out of touch with my bloggy sisters.  But I hope to correct that starting today.

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Ginevra is growing like a weed!  She's now over 11 pounds and has already outgrown much of her newborn wardrobe.  In most developmental areas, she's doing very well, altho she is still a little on the slow side when it comes to holding up her head... but that is primarily due to how she was positioned inside me.  Her neck is slowly getting stronger, and soon will catch up with the rest of her.  Ginny sleeps like a trooper, and she's even given us two nights with 8 hours of sleep (she usually averages about 6.5).  I know we're being spoiled, and I fully expect the other shoe to drop, either when teething starts or when she's 13... who knows.  She started bestowing little gummy smiles on us around Christmas, but they are still more gas related rather than joy induced.  She loves her bathtime, and if she didn't have such dry skin I would bathe her everyday just to watch the look on her face when she hits the water.  I can't believe it's been more than 6 weeks since she was born!

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I knew to expect weird dreams during pregnancy, but why did no one warn me about the nightmares after the baby is born?  Countless nights I have woken up gasping for breath and trembling after watching her fall down stairs (a recurring image) or seeing some grotesque deformity (like eyeballs sprouting in her cheeks) form. 

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Breastfeeding is still not perfect, but it's gotten better.  She typically nurses all day and evening, and only gets one formula bottle at night.  I'm still on the domperidone, and I've added fenugreek to help my milk supply.  I have almost completely stopped pumping, which is a relief.  I would gladly have done it for months if I had to, but it really was tiresome.  The one thing I'm still struggling with, and it might just be a matter of being shy, is bf-ing in public.  Being a plus size woman, I am not able to hold her in the typical cross cradle hold.  I use the football hold instead.  But figuring out how to manage that when we are out and about, and still feel discreet is a huge challenge.  Any suggestions? 

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My weight loss has plateaued, and over Christmas I actually gained a little bit back.  Not that that was entirely unexpected, given how quickly I lost all that weight, and the fact that I was eating all kinds of crap.  I'm trying to be better behaved now and am working out every day with my Wii Active.  Since the GD, I have developed a huge sweet tooth, which I can't seem to shake.  I've always loved carbs, but now, bring on the sugary goodies... I used to be more about the salty snacks.  Odd...  I have to go for a GTT next week (yuck!) but my blood sugars have been well in line ever since Ginevra was born. 

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Old Man Winter decided this weekend that we had been getting off easy on the frozen flatland.  Temps plummeted again (today it's -19 C, -26 C with the wind chill), and we got a huge dump of snow on Saturday.  I learned a valuable lesson on Sunday afternoon... those 'Shape Up' shoes do not work well when you are in knee deep snow.  I fell twice trying to carry in the groceries.  I didn't hurt myself too bad, but I did land on my a$$ in the snow surrounded by cans of frozen juice. 

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I'm off to go bake a cake... and if it turns out well, I'll post pics tomorrow.  I don't normally do too well with the whole baking thing, but this recipe seems like a no-brainer. 

Hobbit-ish Potpurri: Week 9 Zzzzzzzz

Good Morning Humble Readers...

Your friendly neighbourhood hobbit is living in a fog these days.  I'm so exhausted that I can barely function.  As I sit here, I can barely keep my eyes open.  Sleep has gotten a bit better tho, I'm sleeping most of the night in bed, thanks to my new body pillow. 

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The wierd dreams have continued, with scary overtones.  Most recently I had a long rather convoluted nightmare about being at an airport (why all the traveling?) and being robbed of $15K while going through security.  And that was just the beginning... there was a weird dance club for little people (ie people with dwarfism) and I ended up being chased by a balrog (the fire monster from the mines of Moria... Lord of the Rings). 

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Is it possible to have sciatica this early?  A couple of times I have fallen asleep on my left side, and when I wake up I'm in agony. 

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In other news, my Beloved has demonstrated a new level of handy-manliness.  Keep in mind that he is an accountant, who is at his best in front of a computer working with numbers.  About a month ago, I bought a new shower head, but hadn't gotten around to changing it yet.  This past weekend, while I was at work, he not only went to the hardware store and got the pipe tape we needed, but actually did a great job changing it out.  I'm VERY impressed.

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I still can't get my halfling-ticker thing to correct itself.  It always changes on Thursday evening, but my new week doesn't start until Monday.  Hmmmm....

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We've decided that we are going home to K-town for a week in July.  I'm excited because I haven't been home in more than two years, but I'm not looking forward to the drive or being there at the hottest time of the year.  Mom and Dad have a pool now, so I might see if I can find a jumbo extra huge swim suit so I can just float for the week.  We had planned to go out there this month, but Mom and Dad are going to be in Vegas during the week we were able to take off.  So, in just over a week we will be havig a stay-cation.  Going to get some stuff done around the house and maybe go on a couple little road trips.  Oh, and we get to have Sunny the Pug for a few days. 

Perchance To Dream

Good Morning Humble Readers...

I have been having a fair number of wacky dreams lately.  I know that's par for the course during pregnancy, but it's still weird.  In all these dreams, I know I am pregnant, but not showing and feeling pretty good. 

First up, there was that one I told you about already, with the baby with the four eyes (very blue eyes).  Creepy to think about now, but in my dream it seemed ok, just different.  I was super happy and optomistic.  There was other stuff going on in that dream... an explosion or fire across the river in Manhattan (my dream took place in New Jersey) and a toxic cloud blowing toward the hospital we were in.  We had to evacuate, I fell on a slippery, newly waxed floor as we were going down the stairs.  But we all got out safely and all ended well.

Second, again I was in the US, I think I was in New York state.  I was wearing a purple dress that I owned many years ago.  The dream began with me in a large office... no cubicles, but a large open working space.  I was saying goodbye to everyone.  I was very happy.  I left the office and loaded up one of those teeny tiny mini motorcycles with my belongings and headed 'home'. 

(image courtesy of Google Images)

The road I was on reminded me of the Connector between Kelowna and the lower mainland in BC.  Winding, fast moving traffic, and instead of the toll booth, there was a border crossing.  I ended up having to walk through customs carrying my teeny tiny motorcycle and all of my belongings but I was happy.  There were also several spots where I found myself looking at my arms, specifically my inner elbow, and I could see where my blood had been drawn. 

Third... this time I was in Canada, in Alberta, in a car, heading south toward the border.  It was a glorious day.  Blue sky, warm breeze, green trees blowing past us (my Beloved was driving).  We weren't in our car (no Petey the PT cruiser), we were in a red sporty car.  The windows were rolled down and my arm was resting on the open window frame.  We were in a great mood.  We just drove and drove until we got to the border, which resembled the Peace Arch crossing near Vancouver.  I can clearly picture the gaurd and the buildings around the border crossing.  I don't know where we were heading, but we were relaxed and happy.

I know that dreams are just our unconcious' way of processing the days events, but these were just sooo vivid.  The colours, the images... the fact that I was travelling in all of them, the border crossings, even the focus on my arms in two of them... all seems like I should be getting something out of them.