The Crud Is Back

Hey Humble Readers...

Remember how I said that I was going to get the flu shot and that was going to be the end of continuing cycle of colds that I have been experiencing this fall? 

That was the plan. 

The plan didn't work. 

I don't have time to be sick this week.  Ginny's b-day party is in less than two days, and I have to get the house cleaned up, and do a whole crapload of cooking (including baking a cake).  Ugh. 

Off to go make some tea. 

Who's A Dumbass?

Yeah, that would be me, Humble Readers....

I spent way too much time out in the sun this weekend, mostly today, and now I am suffering the effects of a wicked sunburn.  Face, neck, arms, ears, chest, and scalp. 

The hottest week of the year and I forget to pack along the sunscreen.  Ugh.

So here I sit in front of the fan, drinking gallons of water, wishing for some aloe vera, and moving a cool cloth from burning spot to burning spot.

I'd smack myself in the head, but that would probably hurt too much.

The Episode In Which the Hobbit Has A Meltdown

Oh Humble Readers... what an agonizing couple of days it has been.

In order to tell the story properly, I have to back up to the end of my last cycle. I made the decision that I was going to take a break from my b vitamins. I had what I thought were good reasons for doing this. I had been doing some reading that indicated that there can be too much of a good thing with b vitamins and that headaches and even potential nerve damage are possible side effects. I thought I would try a cycle without my neon-pee-inducing B100s and see what happens.

Well, humble readers, all hell broke loose.

It started with just feeling sluggish. Ok, I have been downright exhausted. I tried to write it off as late winter blahs.

Then I started getting cranky.

Really cranky.

Head spinning, eyes going red, psycho-bitch from hell cranky.

It felt like my worst ever PMS (and it used to get REALLY bad), but it couldn't be PMS. I was only 4 dpo. In the past few years, my PMS symptoms have lessened and lessened to usually only the last day or so before AF shows up. This cycle my long suffering Beloved has had to put up with the demon-hobbit for almost a full week.

Then yesterday I completely lost it. It started with a seriously sinking temp that told me I wasn't pregnant yet again. And then... well, the reason why doesn't matter, but I was a screaming, crying, swearing wraith-like harpy. I was a complete mess. And I had to go to work afterward.

Yes, I had just worked a 7 day stretch (which is incredibly challenging for someone who gets her batteries recharged by being alone or with one or two loved ones), but that's no excuse.

Today I had planned to do battle with the bad guys in Mario and Luigi's world, some blog surfing, and reading. Some alone time.

But I ended up with a visitor. A very unwelcome vistor. AF. And I'm only 11dpo. So that means that my luteal phase went back to 10-10.5 days (rather than my now normal 12.5-13 days). PROBLEM!

I'm cramping worse than I have in years, and I feel awful.

I'm feeling like a baby is never going to be a part of our lives. More than two years, two lost babies, and no real reason why. I'm feeling like the last two years have been wasted.

The rational side of me is saying, chill out... you have things you can do (start taking the b vitamins again, start using the ov watch, call Dr. U and see if he is willing to do some testing). But the rational side isn't winning just now.

I'm keeping my head above water today, but just barely. Damn hormones.

Adding Insult To Injury...

Good Afternoon Humble Readers...

So, last week, when my phantom symptoms were raging, I found myself having to go pee more often than normal.

When AF showed up, I assumed that all my phantom symptoms would miraculously disappear, just like they always do. My b00bs stopped hurting, the nausea mostly faded (I'm always slightly nauseous during AF), my bionic sense of smell disappeared, and my energy level picked up.

But, I was still having to pee ridiculously often. Crazy often. Then yesterday it started to hurt.

That's right humble readers... not only am I not pregnant, but I have a UTI.

Ugh!

I feel awful, and all I want to do is lie on my couch with a heating pad, but I have to go to work.

Yes, I'm pouting.

(btw, thank you to everyone who helped out with the test run of the Recipe Round Up. Be watching for the Holiday edition sometime next week!)

Well, Crap!

Nothing good about this morning, Humble Readers...

Spotting has started.

Lame!

I'll be back later to post a final NaBloPoMo post... for now I need to recover from my PLOM disease.

(PLOM - poor little ol' me)

CD 1... AGAIN!

Well, Humble Readers...

AF has arrived, in all her usual glory. At least she didn't toy with me this month.

Back to the drawing board, I guess.

Cycle 22 is bound to be the charm, right?

Just a blah kind of day...

Anyone ready to hang out at my pity party? The whine and cheese is on the table. The violins are playing. My PLOM (poor little ol' me) disease is in full swing.

Here's what happened today...

• Got on the scale this morning... not a good thing. All that weight I lost last month has found me again.
• It's still not spring... when I left for work this afternoon at 2, it was 2 degrees outside. (that's Celsius for my friends down south)
  
• Found out that we really REALLY have nowhere to store our stupid winter tires, and that it looks like we are going to be hauling them around in our trunk until October at which point we will swap them out for the summer tires. I want the trunk of my car back!!!!!!!!!!!
• Discovered that one of my direct reports, who was hired to replace me when I was promoted, actually makes more than me, when you break it down to an hourly wage. Gah!
• I've been waiting for two weeks to get an appointment with my optometrist, after his office promised they would call as soon as there was an opening... I ended up calling them back today to find out what's going on and found out that the only opening is tomorrow (I work) and after that the doc is on vacation for 2 weeks!
• My lips are ridiculously chapped.

And to top it all off, I'm not pregnant, I've just had what is possibly the worst AF I've had in over a year, and I don't feel at all confident for this cycle (yes, I know it's only CD 5, but I'm just not feeling it this month).

I'm just going to head to bed and pray that tomorrow is a better day.

Where did that hope go?

So, I was looking back at my posts from the last couple of weeks and I was really hopeful not all that long ago.

I know I wasn't truly expecting much for this cycle, what with the HSG so close to O-time. But I am now getting all my usual pre-AF symptoms and some faint spotting has me convinced that there isn't a New Year's baby in my future.

Maybe it's because it's so ridiculously cold outside...

Maybe it's because I had to be at work at 7am today and I'll have to be there at 7am again tomorrow...

Maybe it's because I'm sick of hockey playoffs...

Maybe I'm sick of waiting...

Maybe I'm sick of wishing...