Potty Training Woes

Hey Humble Readers...

I am a very frustrated hobbit. 

I'm frustrated primarily with myself.  And with all the people who I have listened to about how Ginny should be potty trained by now. 

(and yes, I admit, I am a tad frustrated with Ginny.)

This was our third go round of trying to get potty training started.  And again we crashed and burned. 

It's likely that I'm the one doing something wrong here, but honestly, I'm stuck for ideas.  Here's what I'm doing right now.

• I refuse to use pull-ups because they just don't make sense.  I have a bunch of the quilted, thick training pants for her. 
• I put her in her training pants right after breakfast.  She sits on the potty right away, and then every fifteen minutes thereafter, until after lunch (naptime).  She doesn't wear any jeans or shorts. 
• I push the salty snacks and fluids to make it so that she has to pee more often.
• I have moved the potty from the bathroom to the kitchen, so that she doesn't have as far to go.  This also helps as I need to be able to keep an eye on Pip. 
• I took her shopping for pretty 'big girl undies'.  She knows that she will get to wear them when she learns to go pee in the potty. 
• I printed off a couple of different charts and got some Hello Kitty stickers for her to use when she actually goes on the potty. 
• I give her a Smartie (like an m&m... it's a Canadian thing) every time she sits on the potty.  I've told her that she will get two smarties when she goes pee on the potty and three when she goes poop. 
• We sing songs and read stories while she's on the potty to keep her seated and relaxed. 
• We have tried "teaching" her stuffed puppy, Stanley, to go on the potty so that we can celebrate and go through the whole process.

And still... NOTHING.  Not a single drop in the potty. 

Repeatedly, she will sit on the potty for a while, then get up without doing anything.  Then, later, she will pee in her pants without even noticing.  Seriously, she doesn't notice that she's wet.

I'm getting really sick of cleaning up puddles.  And we don't have laminate or hard wood.  Just linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom, but we live in the living room.  Carpet.  *sigh*

I'm so angry with myself for being pushed into trying to start training her last summer.  It was ridiculous, but it's now set us up for this cycle of frustration and feeling like a failure (yeah, that's totally on me.  She seems oblivious, except for being irritated with having to interrupt playtime to go sit on the potty). 

I know that she's feeling my frustration.  How can she not?  A big part of me wants to pack it in until her birthday next November. 

Someone, anyone, please... tell me that this will happen.  That she won't be the only kindergartener still in diapers. 

(And I swear to heaven above, I won't even bother trying to start training Pip until he's 3!)

Frustration

Hey Humble Readers...

So if you read yesterday's post you know that I was soooo excited to get my new laptop. 

Fast forward to 7:45am today... (keeping in mind that my body decided that three and a half hours of sleep was enough and woke me up at 3am.  I finally dozed off again on the couch after 6:30).

I got a call from some guy in Toronto saying that he got my computer delivered to him.  WTF?  No, my computer is right here.  Thanks so much for waking me up, butthead!  (can you tell that a tired hobbit is not a happy hobbit?)  He made some comment about having gotten a free computer and I suggested, none too politely, that he should call Dell and learn about time differences.  I tried to go back to sleep, but I got stressed out about possibly being double charged on our credit card for this 'mistake' computer. 

Less than an hour later, I get a call from Dell, asking me to read a number off my computer.  I do so, and it turns out that I do in fact have the wrong computer.  Again... WTF???  It looks exactly like the one I ordered, and geez, forgive me, but I didn't read through all the paperwork that comes with the computer that said it had more memory and a couple other do-dads that I hadn't ordered or paid for.  I don't want what I didn't pay for, but you'd think that a company the size and reputation of Dell could get an order for a simple basic laptop right. 

So, I've already been setting this computer up to my needs.  I have passwords on things.  I've loaded a bit of software, although thankfully no pics yet. 

They (being Dell) are arranging for pick up of this unit, as well as the one that butthead in Toronto got.  SOoooo I *should* have *my* computer sometime in the next week.  Again, I ask... WTF????  Yeah, I can continue to use this one until the pick up is arranged, but don't load any more software and certainly remove anything that I don't want someone else to have access to.  Because this computer is NOT going back to Dell.  It's going directly to the butthead in Toronto. 

So, this means no monthly Ginny update today, and no Foodie post on Friday. because I don't have pics.  This means that I have to go through and delete things and remove the software that I've already installed. 

I'm irked, frustrated, and pissed off.  Can you tell?

Hobbit-ish Potpurri:Hell No, I'm Not Complaining* (Again!)

Greetings Humble Readers...

(*sarcasm - I don't want to sound like a whiner, but the last couple days have just been a drag.  This pregnancy has been harder physically than with Ginny, and I really feel bad for griping.  BUT, this is my blog and these are my feelings.  If this isn't something you can handle today, I understand.)

So, I saw the unremarkable Dr. B today.  I admit that I went into the appointment already a bit crabby, but I really felt like the whole thing was a waste of time and cab fare.  I was weighed and had my blood pressure checked.  He listened to the baby's heartbeat (152 bpm) and measured my belly (measuring ahead by about a week).  And that was it.  He basically blew off my questions...

• Can I increase the dosage on my Zan.tac? (getting heartburn in the middle of the day, taking tums which are screwing with my blood sugar)  Talk to Dr. W about it next week.
• Should I be concerned about the rapid weight gain?  (Gained 3-ish pounds over two days... for a normal sized preggo, that's a concern.  I'm still below my pre-preg weight tho.)  Talk to Dr. W about it next week.
• How low is my 'low-lying placenta'? (Is it just low-lying or is it a partial previa? Scheduling the next u/s?) Talk to Dr. W about it next week.

I'm really thinking that the whole appointment was just to make sure that I had an appointment scheduled with Dr. W.  Grr...

*****
Speaking of blood sugars, I'm going through another bit of a rough patch.  I feel like I'm on a ridiculous amount of insulin right now, and I know it's only going to get 'worse' from here, but I'm missing my targets pretty regularly (not by a lot) and it's pissing me off.  I'm incredibly bored with my breakfast and lunch options and, because of that boredom, I've made some lousy choices over the last few days (whoda thunk that raisin bran would be bad for a diabetic?  It's not like I ate some sugar laced marshmallow cereal.  I should have realized it tho, if I had actually thought about it).  I need a kick in the a$$ to get refocussed here.

*****
Ginny is also going through a rough patch.  She's got a cough, which sounds a heck of a lot worse than it is, she's teething (about 4 teeth), and she's gotten into a mischievous attitude lately that is draining Mommy's patience (she has a new thing for the kitchen garbage can and kleenex boxes... both items are fun to empty when Mommy's not looking).  And napping is really hit and miss, with a mega four hour nap one day and then hardly any naps for three days.  I adore my wee girl, but these days she's not very sweet.

*****
We have a potluck at church this weekend, and I'm torn about what to take.  Part of me just wants to make a huge bowl of black bean salad (with tomatoes, bell peppers and corn in a lime chili vinaigrette) because it would be simple and cheap, but I don't really know how well that would go over.  But I know that chicken wings would go over great, but they're more expensive and impossible to keep warm during Sunday School and service.  Thoughts?  Alternate suggestions?

*****
Ginny's vocabulary - I took Kristin's suggestion from the other day, and have been giving Ginny direct instructions on various things to find out how much she's understanding.  It has eased my mind a fair bit, as she knows what I'm talking about when I ask her about Daddy, puppies (she points to pictures), her stuffies by name (Stanley, Big Bear, Baby Bear, Bedtime Bear, Aurora, Dolly), her toes, babies, her milk/cup, and yesterday when I asked her where Mommy was, she patted me on the arm repeatedly (she knows who I am... thank heaven!).  I am going to try not to stress about her not really talking for another couple of months.  My Beloved and I have set a deadline... if we don't see an improvement by the time she's 18 months old then we will seek out some further help/intervention.  I am also going to press my MIL for more information about how non-verbal my Beloved was as a toddler/preschooler.  The family story is that he just didn't talk until he was almost 5, and then presto he talked.  I need more info. 

Frustration

Humble Readers...

Am I the only one having issues with Blogger tonight?  Actually it started yesterday...  And this goes beyond the issues I've been having with my Intense Debate comment system. 

When I wanted to comment on at least three different blogs, Blogger freezes up.  As in I can't do ANYTHING with it.  I have to log out and then log back into my dashboard, and not comment, which I'm just getting back into the habit of doing.  Very frustrating!

I think it has something to do with the updated Blogger interface and the new threaded comment system that they've just introduced.  It also seems to be on blogs that have their comment form embedded below the post.  It's seriously pissing me off! 

I have temporarily turned off the Intense Debate account, even though I will miss the added benefits of using it.  I have grown exceedingly frustrated with the whole random switching back and forth that comments have done over recent weeks. 

I'm hoping that this is just a glitch that will be rectified soon, but this is just one more step on my road to switching to something like Wordpress. 

Technical Difficulties

Hey Humble Readers...

I had a great post planned for today, but my comment section is going really wonky and attempting to fix it has taken away any of my creativity.  Not to mention patience. 

I hope all is well in your neck of the woods. 

I'll write something worth reading tomorrow.

Definition of Frustration

Humble Readers, please bear with me...

(and if you are one of my non-IF readers, please feel free to skip this post... IF irrationality follows)

We have been ttc for 2 years...

I have tracked 21 cycles (halfway thru #22).

I have had 2 anovulatory cycles which were recovery cycles after losses.

So, 19 ovulatory cycles... 13 of which have had O on CD 14 or 15. (a couple CD13s and CD16s thrown in for aggravation's sake).

My last two cycles, as I have bemoaned to death, have had O on CD17.

Today is CD16.

I have had EWCM for a week! Not just a little, but a lot. My temps are still relatively low, and I'm going insane. I know that a 2-3 day difference in my O shouldn't be a big fat hairy deal, but it's driving me nuts.

If I don't O tomorrow, I think I might do something unthinkable to my thermometer.

(yes, the rational part of me knows that stressing about O can cause it to be delayed... but just because I know it doesn't mean I can make myself stop stressing)

Ok, rant over. We now return you to your regularly scheduled ramblings.

Response to questions: OPKs have never been that effective for me. The few times that I tried using them, I found myself even more stressed out about missing the surge. Thank you for the suggestion, tho.

I Thought I Felt Crazy Yesterday?

Good Morning Humble Readers...

It's now CD29. I'm two days late. I'm two days past my normal luteal phase.

My temps dropped a bit today. But my bo.obs still hurt. I'm exhausted. I have some mild nausea.

The test this morning was negative again. Beyond negative. That white patch where the second line should be looked whiter than it was before I actually used it. Not even a hint of a line.

I don't know.

Frustration

So, I'm trying to upload a slideshow using the blogger widgit... and it's driving me nuts! I've been at it for more than two hours and I can't get it to work. I have a bunch of pictures I want to share, but it's too many for a single blog post...

anyone have any ideas?

Heartbreaking

Updated at the bottom.

I first heard this story last night on the news. An adoption agency in Ontario has gone bankrupt and there are now dozens of Canadian families and Ethiopian children in limbo. One story I read said that the transitional home for the Ethiopian children is curently housing 50 or more children awaiting visas and documentation, and they only have food and supplies to last about a week.

When I think about those adoptive parents... financially drained, emotionally spent, and worried for their children. My heart breaks for them.

Sending prayers and hope-filled thoughts.

Update: Our community has not escaped being affected by this. Please stop by and offer Andrea and Darryl support. And sign the petition.

I Can't Shut It Off...

I have said it here, and I've made it clear to those in my life who know about our IF journey... we are on a break! Taking the summer off from actively trying, relaxing a bit, but mostly so that I don't have to worry about being in my first trimester while we are in NYC.

So why can't I shut off that part of my brain?

Why can't I stop wondering if that one slip we had around O time is going to lead to the pregnancy I've dreamed of?

Why can't I turn the pregnancy monitor on my FF chart off?

Why did I feel the need this morning to check with Dr. Google to see when my first trimester might end if I actually was pregnant?

Why, when my chart has shown countless false implantation dips, did I feel that little flutter of hope when I entered my temp this morning?

I don't want this summer to be wasted in that limbo between worry and hope. Where is that peace that I hoped to feel?

Where did that hope go?

So, I was looking back at my posts from the last couple of weeks and I was really hopeful not all that long ago.

I know I wasn't truly expecting much for this cycle, what with the HSG so close to O-time. But I am now getting all my usual pre-AF symptoms and some faint spotting has me convinced that there isn't a New Year's baby in my future.

Maybe it's because it's so ridiculously cold outside...

Maybe it's because I had to be at work at 7am today and I'll have to be there at 7am again tomorrow...

Maybe it's because I'm sick of hockey playoffs...

Maybe I'm sick of waiting...

Maybe I'm sick of wishing...

I'm NOT Superstitous...

I have never been one to believe in superstitions. I'll step on a crack... I'll walk under ladders... heck, I've even broken a mirror a time or two.

But... I'm at that point in my tww, where all those old wives tales and things have started to pound on my brain.

Did you know that I once had a friend tell me that I would never have children based on the number of lines on the side of my hand? Apparently, in some parts of Chinese culture, if you make a fist and then count the lines that appear by your pinky knuckle, you can find out how many children you will have. I laughed it off... my friend was very sad for me.

During my last pregnancy, I had the requisite weird dreams. In all of them I was 'misplacing' our baby. In every single one! I lost our baby at church, at work, and at the grocery store (altho, in that one my beloved found a different 'our baby' in the frozen foods section... dream analysis anyone?).

Gah! I know I'm sounding ridiculous right now, but I just can't get this stuff out of my brain.

Sorry for the ramble...

Very Annoyed

Ok... before I begin I will offer a disclaimer. For any of my readers who have a low tolerance for TMI or just really doesn't want to know the ins and outs of my 'plumbing', please feel free to skip this post. It's ok, I won't be hurt.

Soooo, I've been looking forward to the beginning of this cycle for more than a month now. Even before the miscarraige had officially happened, when I knew that the pregnancy wasn't viable, I was looking forward to this cycle because it meant that we would be moving toward starting to ttc again. I was looking forward to some answers.

When AF showed up this morning I was really happy. I was able to call my OB's office at 9am and tell them that I was ready to be booked for an HSG. The receptionist was really happy for me and said she'd get right on it. She'd call me back later in the day with the info and the appointment.

Two o'clock rolled around and I had to leave for work without having heard from her. I wasn't concerned because I knew that my work number was on file. The afternoon ticked by, and I was jumping with every ring of the phone. Finally at 4:55 I got the call.

(Cue dark depressing music)

They can't get me in this month. The receptionist was very apologetic. Because today is Monday, that means AF won't be gone until Friday afternoon-ish. Of course, I can't get in on the weekend. That leaves next Monday and Tuesday (HSG has to be done before CD 10). Of course, they only do two of these tests a day. Of course, they are booked up. Of course, I can wait another month. *sigh*

It shouldn't be such a big deal. What's a month, right? Not even a month... 27 days. In the mean time, I'm getting that much closer to my 35th birthday. The ticking of my biological clock is becoming like chinese water torture.

Maybe tomorrow I will be ok with this. Tonight I'm pissed!

Oh yeah... and did I mention that today I found out one of my staff is expecting? *sigh*