A Very Merry Un-Birthday!

Hey Humble Readers!

I hope you all have been having a good week, and that you have something fun planned for the weekend ahead of you!  My week has been pretty blech, but it is getting better now.  My weekend plans aren't anything spectacular, but provided that the weather holds we'll be headed south to visit my MIL tomorrow afternoon, then church on Sunday. 

This morning I was surprised to realize what the date was... my un-birthday, or rather my half-birthday.  And while I don't normally get gifts on my un-birthday, last year I got a doozy!  :)  Some of you may recall this post, when I got my first faint positive hpt that hinted at the impending arrival of our sweet wee girl. 

A bit blurry because she's ALWAYS in motion!

It's so amazing to see the difference a year makes. 

So, I wasn't expecting a gift on this un-birthday.  But I did...







AF showed up this afternoon.  :)

Did I freak you out?  LOL!  Probably not, but I think it's darn funny.  At least I know that my body is starting to get back to normal.  I know that my cycle will likely be wonky for the next while, but I'm just glad that there's a reason for all the cramps and pms I've had for the last week and a half.  I'm actually already starting to feel a bit more like myself.  I honestly thought I was losing my mind.  Now I just have a killer backache and some mild cramps. 

Who thought I would be this happy to have the witch show up? 

The Episode In Which the Hobbit Has A Meltdown

Oh Humble Readers... what an agonizing couple of days it has been.

In order to tell the story properly, I have to back up to the end of my last cycle. I made the decision that I was going to take a break from my b vitamins. I had what I thought were good reasons for doing this. I had been doing some reading that indicated that there can be too much of a good thing with b vitamins and that headaches and even potential nerve damage are possible side effects. I thought I would try a cycle without my neon-pee-inducing B100s and see what happens.

Well, humble readers, all hell broke loose.

It started with just feeling sluggish. Ok, I have been downright exhausted. I tried to write it off as late winter blahs.

Then I started getting cranky.

Really cranky.

Head spinning, eyes going red, psycho-bitch from hell cranky.

It felt like my worst ever PMS (and it used to get REALLY bad), but it couldn't be PMS. I was only 4 dpo. In the past few years, my PMS symptoms have lessened and lessened to usually only the last day or so before AF shows up. This cycle my long suffering Beloved has had to put up with the demon-hobbit for almost a full week.

Then yesterday I completely lost it. It started with a seriously sinking temp that told me I wasn't pregnant yet again. And then... well, the reason why doesn't matter, but I was a screaming, crying, swearing wraith-like harpy. I was a complete mess. And I had to go to work afterward.

Yes, I had just worked a 7 day stretch (which is incredibly challenging for someone who gets her batteries recharged by being alone or with one or two loved ones), but that's no excuse.

Today I had planned to do battle with the bad guys in Mario and Luigi's world, some blog surfing, and reading. Some alone time.

But I ended up with a visitor. A very unwelcome vistor. AF. And I'm only 11dpo. So that means that my luteal phase went back to 10-10.5 days (rather than my now normal 12.5-13 days). PROBLEM!

I'm cramping worse than I have in years, and I feel awful.

I'm feeling like a baby is never going to be a part of our lives. More than two years, two lost babies, and no real reason why. I'm feeling like the last two years have been wasted.

The rational side of me is saying, chill out... you have things you can do (start taking the b vitamins again, start using the ov watch, call Dr. U and see if he is willing to do some testing). But the rational side isn't winning just now.

I'm keeping my head above water today, but just barely. Damn hormones.