The Fog is Lifting (aka The Self-Analysis Post)

Well, Humble Readers... it seems that the fog, and the funk, is clearing.

Is it because it has finally stopped snowing? (Yes, that's right. Here on the northern flatland, we had an early taste of winter. This has been the coldest October in almost 25 years... and of course it followed the hottest September on record. Go figure!) Is it because the thermometer is closer to normal temperatures for this time of year?

Is it because I have just spent two hours baking? (One batch of glazed pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and two loaves of cinnamon loaf. Peanut butter chocolate bars are being made tomorrow.)

Or maybe it's because I'm getting close to O time and maybe my hope is creeping back in?

Or maybe it's just the new cd I got the other day... there is a tonne of power in getting a musical soundtrack that I don't already know by heart.

Whatever it is, I'm glad! I wasn't enjoying being in my head so much. I'm starting to feel like me.

When I let my rational self think about how things went last month, many things become clear. First, I was putting way to much pressure on myself. It's only our first month officially trying again after our break. I know that getting pregnant isn't our issue. It will happen, eventually.

Second, I fell victim to the stupid idea that somehow being on vacation might help make things happen. Really... how ridiculous? How many times have I rolled my eyes when someone gave me that assvice?

Last... I always have a bit of a slump around my birthday. From the time I was 16, every year around my birthday I get a bit blue. I think being on vacation on my birthday delayed the inevitable.

So, when my cycle chose this last month to screw around on me, it was just crappy timing all the way around.

Thank you, Humble Readers, for your patience with my whining, and for your support.

Kreativ Blogger Award

My lovely bloggy-friend, Alana, over at Alana-isms has honoured me with this award.

I'm not sure that I qualify as a creative blogger (mostly I just whine a lot) but I am grateful to have an opportunity to write about some of the things that I love.

So here's how it works:

1. When given the award, you write about seven things that you love.

2. Pass the award to seven bloggers that you love, and be sure to tag them and let them know they've won.

Seven things I love: (in no particular order)

• My Beloved: I never ever thought that I would find a man who would be able to love me with all my foibles. He is sweet, sensitive, and smart (not to mention sexy!). He's even cute when he's snoring on the couch (like now). He raves about my cooking, even on the bad experimental days, and he does the dishes. He longs for babies as much as I do, and understands when I have sad days.

• My Job/Books: Not many people I know who work in retail love their jobs, but I do. I have worked in retail book sales for almost 10 years, and honestly I don't think I could have made it through that long if I didn't love my work. And what's not to love? I get to be around books all day, I get to talk about books all day, I get to work with people who (for the most part) love books, and most of my customers are book lovers too. I get a great discount (which feeds my addiction) and I am exposed to a lot of great titles and authors that I probably wouldn't otherwise have found. Yes, I can gripe about crappy days, like everyone else, but really, give me a crazy Saturday at Christmas-time and I'm in heaven.

• The Colour Red: I have always loved red. My wedding dress had red trim. I carried red tulips. My new glasses are partially red. My hair looks best when it's red. My bedroom is a deep deep (very romantic) red. My couch is red. Sensing a trend yet? It's the colour that I look best in. The only bummer is because of our dress code, I only get to wear red to work in December.

• Broadway Musicals: This love has been a long and slow-to-develop love. I loved watching the old movie musicals when I was a kid (Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, anyone?), but then slowly got away from it in middle school. When I was in college, a friend talked me into watching 'Into the Woods' (the original cast) and I was intrigued. I had the soundtrack, and would occasionally listen to it over the years. Then a few years ago, a friend got involved in musical theater. This around the time of the release of 'Rent' as a movie... and well... let's just say I was a goner. "Wicked", "The Producers", "Hairspray", "Mama Mia", "Sweeney Todd", "Fiddler on the Roof", "Music Man", and "West Side Story" are all on my playlist right now. Guess why I want to go to NYC?

• School Supplies: Hi, my name is Mrs. Gamgee and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to buying pens, pencils, notebooks, markers, paper... anything that could count as school supplies. There's a line in "You've Got Mail" that I love... about bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils. I'm not allowed to shop at an office supply store unaccompanied. I will go nuts and buy a lifetime supply of blue pens. One of my goals in life is to own an old-school fountain pen, the kind where you have to fill it from an ink pot.
  

• Odd Canadian Music: Ok, so this one is on the list because I just found my Captain Tractor cd and I'm totally stoked. There are a lot of great Canadian bands out there that people outside of Canada have never heard of. Most of you have probably heard of Barena.ked La.dies (guess who's heartbroken that they broke up?), but have you heard of Moxy Fruvous (check out "King of Spain") or the aforementioned Captain Tractor ("The Last Saskatchewan Pirate")? Even groups like the Rankin Family, the Irish Rovers, Great Big Sea, and the Irish Decendants... they all fall into that bizarre melting pot that is fabulous Canadian music.
  

• Cooking: I love cooking. I love trying new recipes. I have to differentiate between cooking and baking, though. I am not a big fan of baking. You have to be too exact. Cooking is a release for me. I can be creative and most of the time things turn out (we won't talk about the chicken noodle casserole incident of 2002 or the beef & rice skillet that was just plain ookey from last month). I tend towards mostly mediterranean flavours, although I am hoping to branch out into thai sometime soon.
  

And now for the seven blogs that I love... (so hard to pick just seven)

• Lindsay at Destined to Be An Old Woman With No Regrets: She makes me think. She makes me laugh. And I am living vicariously through her pregnancy!
• Eve at Infertility Rocks!: Sarcastic and spirited, her posts are never dull and always chuckle-inducing. She's bravely considering IVF (check out her RE 'dates') and is open about her worries.
• Liv at Can You Imagine: You can't help but enjoy her peaceful attitude and positive outlook about her upcoming IUI and life on the road to baby.
• Katie at Isn't TTC Supposed To Be Fun?: She's going through a rough time right now, dealing with the loss of one of her babies-to-be. But her hopeful heart shines through her sadness.
• Mr. Shelby at Two Peas Waiting For Our Pod: I've just really started reading his blog after the last couple ICLWs, and it so great to read about the IF journey from a guy's perspective.
• Bunny at Bugaboo Envy: She's out to catch the 'baby flu' that seems to be going around :).
• Country Girl/City Girl: Humour, sarcasm, and the ability to laugh at themselves and those around them... and be serious when it's called for. Totally smurfy!
  

And of course honourable mention would go to Alana!