Sometimes Moms Just Know

Hey Humble Readers...

Yesterday was a pretty blue day for me.  My heart was (and still is) hurting for WiseGuy, and I was feeling pretty low emotionally.  So it was a huge blessing when I got an email from my mom last night that made me laugh my ass off.  She sent it because she thought I needed a giggle, and I want to share it with you all, because laughter brings so much healing.

Keep in mind that this is a Canadian joke.  I don't mean it to be insulting to anyone, and it could easily be told the opposite way and be just as funny... maybe  ;)

Condom Emergency

The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by telephone.

"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week."

Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unplanned babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in from Mexico ."

Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about Canada ?"

Obama: "Okay, I'll call Stephen Harper and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."

Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived.

He found five million condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches thick, just as requested... all colored with red maple leaves with small writing on each one:

'MADE IN CANADA - SIZE MEDIUM'

Blog Challenge Day 23: A YouTube Video & Some Ramblings

Howdy Humble Readers!

Today has been another productive day at the hobbit-hole.  I did most of my housework this morning, made a cinnamon loaf (not one of my best... I tried making it with whole wheat flour and it was just a little too dense), my lovely friend R came by for a visit, and then Beloved and I even went a-costco-ing tonight.  Of course, now I'm on the couch for the rest of the night because I'm pooped.  Poor Beloved gets to put away all our groceries all by himself. 

One teeny-tiny vent... when we got to Cos.tco, I had a very specific list of things I was looking for.  I tend to buy most of my meat there because the quality and prices are good.  My plan was to stock up on our basic items so that we won't have to head back out there for a few weeks at least.  So, we get to the meat department and not only did they not have any tilapia (which can be hit or miss for them), but they also didn't have any ground beef.  How can Cos.tco not have ground beef?  I got really irritated at that.  Then I went to get some ravioli... and they had every kind of ravioli imaginable, EXCEPT for beef or sausage.  They had ravioli stuffed with lobster, with goat cheese, with butternut squash, with chicken and garlic... all of which are good, but just not what I was looking for.  Beyond irritating!  *sigh*  Don't they know it's not good to piss off a pregnant woman? 

So, today's assignment is to share a youtube video.  I don't spend a lot of time on youtube, except when I'm looking for a good laugh.  I love good stand up comedy, especially when it's relatively clean.  And one thing that Canada is known for is our funny people... Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, Mike Myers, Rick Mercer and Shaun Majumder just to name a few.  One of my new favourites is Russel Peters.  This guy is hysterical.  Yes, he does a lot of ethnic humour, but mostly at his own expense.  I hope you get a good chuckle...

Show & Tell: My Tummy Still Hurts From Laughing

Good Morning Humble Readers! 

Last night's adventure was sooooooooooo much fun! 

We got to the theater early so that we would be sure to get our tickets.  Then we decided to wait around a bit to see if we could see some of the others from my work.  We saw J and her friend M, but after waiting for what seemed like a long time, we finally decided to go find our seats...

And oh what seats!  Third row, just off center!  It was great! 

McLean started off the evening with a hilarious new Dave & Morley story, involving Dave wanting to try out his neighbour's uber-expensive bike.  It was so funny that I was crying.  And because I had never seen him tell his stories before, I was especially amused by the fact that he sort of acts them out. 

He had some great musicians with him.  The bassist and the pianist were really talented, but I forget who they are.  The Good Lovelies are nominated for a Juno (the Canadian equivalent of a Grammy) for best roots album.  They were fun and had a great bluegrass sort of sound.  I really enjoyed their music.

McLean went on to tell one of my favourite stories.  The one where Dave decides that he's going to move an outlet in the kitchen.  But of course Dave doesn't know anything about electrical work or home renos.  It ends up involving 8 neighbourhood men, their powertools, and fifteen holes in the wall before they finally overload the circuits and the house goes dark.  And that's when Morley comes home from work.  Of course I am not trying to do it justice.  You need to hear him tell it, or read it in one of his books. 

Just before the intermission, McLean invited a young kid on stage to help him give away a bunch of free cds.  Their interaction was great!  And the kid was totally brave!

After the intermission, we were treated to a collection of reminisences of McLean's childhood, growing up in Montreal, the son of two Australian transplants, and how he got into radio.  Very sweet and funny.

And after some more music, we got to another new Dave and Morley story.  Dave agrees to watch all the neighbourhood dogs over spring break.  Now, Dave has an interesting history with his dog, and with his neighbours... and when you combine the two you know that chaos is sure to follow. 

We had such a good time!  I wanted to leave you with a clip of one of his stories, and this was the shortest one I could find that was still a complete story.  I hope you enjoy it.

Now, don't forget to swing by the marvelous Mel's place and check out what the rest of the class is showing. 

I Am Such A Lucky Hobbit!

Humble Readers... omg... I am soooooooooo excited!

I just got a phone call from work.  A very well known Canadian author/raido personality is in town this week.  I have mentioned him before, but seriously, Stuart McLean is hilarious!  He writes and tells the Vinyl Cafe stories on CBC Radio.  Some of you may be familiar with 'Dave Cooks The Turkey'.

Anyway, he's doing a concert tonight in town.  He stopped by my store today to do an impromptu appearance and sign his books (what a day to have off!!!) and his producer was giving away free tickets to our staff.  One of the other managers, who knows that my Beloved and I are huge fans, got his producer to set aside a set of tickets for us!  They run between $50-70 a pop... and we get to go for free!!!!  Tonight!!!!

Can you tell I'm excited?

Okay, I have to go get dinner started and put on something presentable. 

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Show & Tell: My New Favourite Commercial

Good afternoon, Humble Readers...

Ok, so this is a rather lame Show & Tell, but this commercial makes me laugh so hard (we're talking snorts here)... It brightens my day just seeing it.



I love when 'she' says pothole.

Do you have a favourite tv commercial? One that makes you laugh so hard you could spray milk out of your nose?

Now don't forget to stop by Mel's place to check out what the rest of the class is showing!