Blog Challenge Day 8: A Picture That Makes Me Sad

Greetings Humble Readers!

Today's assignment was a tough one. 

I spent a lot of time going through my pictures, looking for something that makes me sad. 

There were a few that I could have used.  I have some great pictures from the Baggage Room at Ellis Island, and my experience there was particularly moving.  Particularly when I learned about the families that were split up when family members were not allowed to immigrate due to illness or physical deformity.

But I came across this one.  I had honestly forgotten I had taken it.

Dad C's Skates
(from when he played junior pro hockey)

 This picture was taken last fall at my FIL's memorial service.  It makes me immeasurably sad to think that our little Halfling won't get to know his/her Grandpa C.  Who's going to coach our little one on the finer points of curling?  Or instill in them the appropriate pride in being part of the Rider Nation?  Who's going to teach our child to play Chase the Ace, or how to tie their first pair of skates?  I know there are others, including my Beloved and I, who can teach our child these things, but we won't be able to do it in Dad C's gruff but loveable style.

And that makes me sad.

Bugs in my Bra

Today was Dad C's memorial service.

It was hard and good and funny and sad and enjoyable and heartbreaking and just how it should have been.

Mom C thought she was being generous when she told the curling club and the ladies catering the lunch that we would expect 150 people. There were 250 at least! Standing room only, to celebrate an incredibly great man.

We had a table display of some of Dad's sports memorabilia (including a pair of hockey skates that had been sharpened so many times that there was nothing of the blade left), some picture displays (Dad was really built back in the day... all that hockey, baseball, and curling!), and some beautiful flowers. I couldn't spend much time looking at the memorial table initially. It was just too hard. But I really loved the pictures.

My Beloved was the emcee for the service, and I think he did an incredible job. I was so impressed with how strong he was through it all. My BIL, D (the oldest) read a poem he wrote for Dad for his 60th birthday, and BIL K (married to my Beloved's sister, P) gave the eulogy.

One of the highlights of the service was when a woman came up to share some memories of Dad... she is the mother of a now rather highly ranked Canadian curler (who, I think, has some high olympic hopes). She shared about Dad's influence on her son's life, about how Dad inspired her boy to take up curling and how he coached the boy for years. It was really special to hear her appreciation for all Dad did for junior curlers in the community.

After the service and the lunch, when we were all emotionally spent and extremely overheated from the crowded room, we went back to Mom's house (man it's weird to call it that). Several members of the extended family joined us for the afternoon and evening. There were a few occasions that I had to remind myself that Dad wasn't going to walk around the corner tinkling the ice in his glass of pep.si.

Later in the afternoon, the wine was poured and we all started to get a little goofy. My Beloved's family are happy drunks (not that they are drunks... but they get silly when they have had a few) and it got a little loud. We were inside and outside... fighting over lawnchairs, watching people play 'the golf ball game' (I don't know what it's called, but its pretty popular around here as an outdoor game).

In Mom and Dad's yard there are a couple of trees that at this time of year, are loaded with inedible berries. Because of all these berries, there are a lot of aphids.

Now, when I say a lot, I mean A LOT! They were everywhere. We were all covered in them. They were all over my hair, my shirt, occassionally crawling up under my skirt, in my drink and, as the title of this post suggests, down my shirt and in my bra. We have been home for almost an hour and I still feel itchy.

At one point, I made a comment to one of my tipsy SIL about the bugs crawling up my legs and down my bra and that was it... we were all killing ourselves laughing. I was extremely red in the face (altho that was probably the wine).

It felt good to laugh like that with the family... and I know that Dad would approve.

More Details... Otherwise Known as 'Life in the Whirlwind'

Hello Humble Readers...

First and foremost... thank you so much for all your support and kind words. This has been a challenging few days for all of us. Your friendship means so much.

To give you all the full picture, I have to go back to almost a week ago. Mom C called to tell us that she and Dad were going up to Burns Lake to visit my Beloved's older sister and brother and their families. They were taking Uncle J an Aunt P with them (Uncle J is Mom's older brother), as they are both too elderly to drive themselves.

They had only been there for a couple of days. On Monday morning, at around 10:30, Dad had the stroke. Due to a comedy of errors, it took a while (meaning 2 or 3 minutes) to find a phone in the house that was charged and functioning, and then of course Burns Lake does not have 911 service.

It took 2 and a half hours to get Dad to Prince George, by which time it was too late for the doctors to administer the drugs that can assist in recovery from a stroke. While he was initially unresponsive for a brief time, he came around and was aware of his surroundings and who was with him. He was unable to speak and had no mobility on his right side, but he would squeeze Mom's hand from time to time. The doctors were initially hopeful that they would be able to get him stabilized and then send him closer to home for rehab.

Dad stayed alert through most of the night. Sometime after 5am on Tuesday, he closed his eyes, and he didn't wake up. It was at this point that the doctors gave the word to gather the family.

My Beloved got the call at 2:30, and he picked me up from work at 3:00. We had some back and forth about how we were going to get out there. My Beloved's other brothers and their wives flew out of Calgary. We flew out of Edmonton (and drove like demons to get there). Our plane went to Vancouver, at which point the other family members boarded, so we were all able to land in Prince George together.

We landed just after 8pm. Mom and my Beloved's older sister were at the airport to meet us. Dad had passed peacefully at 6:15. We missed him by an hour and forty-five minutes.

Dad loved Burns Lake, and often joked that he would move back there before he died. He would not have wanted to live reliant on someone for his every need. I think he would have been glad to go quickly.

After the initial blow, we went to the hospital, and said our goodbyes in the viewing room. We then made our way to the motel where we were all going to be staying and had a bit of a wake (as close to it as a bunch of non-irish folk can). We ate pizza, drank a few too many beers & coolers, and toasted the empty chair in the room.

The next morning, after breakfast, it was decided that the majority of the famiy would go back out to Burns Lake for a few days. My Beloved and I drove home with Uncle J and Aunt P and their son (who had come out to get them). The rest of the family is on the road home today. My Beloved's oldest brother is taking two weeks off to stay with Mom.

We are going to be having a memorial open house/come and go sort of thing at the Curling Club in Didsbury on the Saturday of the long weekend. My Beloved and I are going down on Monday (Mom and Dad's anniversary) to spend the day with the family, and will probably go down another time or two before next weekend.

One thing that I am struggling with... and it may seem odd... but, in my family I am the oldest. When there are events like this to be planned, I am usually the one planning and organizing. It's been how I tend to cope in situations like this. But my Beloved is the youngest... by a LOT (he was the oops baby) and the others have always done all the planning and just told him when and where to show up. I feel like I need to be doing something, but it's all been done already.

I'm sorry that I've been rambling. I just needed to get these things out. Thank you for 'listening'.

In Memoriam - Dad C

R.L.C. - Dad C.

May 14th, 1936 - August 25th, 2009

He went peacefully, and likely felt very little pain. We missed him by a little over an hour. Mom C and my Beloved's sister were at the airport when we all arrived.

Some highlights from Dad's life:

• married to his high school sweetheart for just shy of 52 years (their anniversary is on Monday)
• father to four sons and one daughter, grandfather to 10 grandchildren (and two angel-grandbabies), great-grandfather to one great-grandson
• as a young man he played semi-pro hockey for one season
• he was inducted into the Saskatchewan Sports Hall of Fame for all of his volunteer work (coaching, etc)
• he loved curling, hockey, Canadian football, game shows, crossword puzzles, playing cards and he grew the best tomatoes I've ever eaten
• he was king of the power nap, taking a nap after lunch and dinner every day

We will be celebrating his life on the Saturday of the long weekend, at the curling club where Dad worked for many years, making the ice. My Beloved and I came home yesterday. In total we were only gone 29 hours, but it feels like an eternity. Everyone else will be coming back tomorrow.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and warm thoughts over the last few days. They mean so much!

Please Continue -

to pray and send good thoughts. We are currently waiting to hear if we are flying or driving to Prince George. If we are driving, it will take most of the night to get there.

Dad has been unresponsive all day, and the neurologist thinks that more damage has been done overnight.

I won't be posting for the next few days.

Stay well everyone!